The sentence that ended your relationship

[OhHolyFuck]

Sort of a taat, but reading sosos grammar school thread and it got me to thinking

When ex-dp and I were 'trying' (i.e. I was doing the pick me dance/hysterical bonding and he was sexting everything with a pulse and lining up his next victim girlfriend) we had a conversation about celebrities we'd like to be

I said various people for their attributes and then he said he'd be Peter Pan - when I asked why he said 'because I don't ever want to grow up, it's boring isn't it?' and it was a 'scales falling from my eyes' moment - I had morphed into this boring responsible dowdy mum but thank god one of us had because he was simply never going to take responsibility for anything

Every letter he didn't take back to school that I'd had to fill out, every time he was late for work, every time he lived off microwave burgers and spent 20 hours a day gaming - it wasn't me, it was him looking to be forever 16

So what was yours?

[SevenStones]

I don't remember the exact sentence, but we were on holiday and it was the best holiday we'd ever had, and he said it was a fantastic holiday, and that I'd done really well organising it all and how much he appreciated it.

And the penny dropped. For years I'd been spending all my time trying to make everything fantastic for him, and believing that when he was abusive it was my fault and all I had to do was try harder. But that moment I fully embraced the fact that everything good in our marriage was all down to me and the effort I put in. And I wasn't going to do it any more.

It took me eighteen months to leave because I was scared and because over the years I'd come to believe I couldn't manage on my own. Those 18 months were horrible as I didn't put any effort in, and just waited to see if he would if I didn't. No, of course not.

Then one day I got the courage I needed.

[Swer987]

“I don’t want a baby”

[blackteasplease]

Mine was "I'm just finishing this yoghurt". That he stood eating in slow motion while I was struggling to get the baby to bed so the eldest could have enough sleep for school the next day and not be exhausted.

[Groundfloor]

First - (Sunday morning) "I'm going to stay with a friend, when I get back on Tuesday, you won't be here".

Second - "If you walk out that door, this relationships is over"

[Gigibadid]

@AnnaNimmity I recognise the venom in those words too. I'm glad you got out.

Ex-DP when I was 23: "If you don't leave me now, I'm worried I'll start hitting you in your fucking face"

Ex-DP (split 2 weeks ago): After telling him it was the second anniversary of my ex breaking my wrist, and worrying that I would be a bit of a mess for the next few days... silence, and then "... I can't believe you didn't wish me good luck for my race" (when he was in the midst of a week long silent treatment)

[pollyglot]

"I feed you" and "I didn't get married to have a millstone around my neck" (meaning "so you have to do everything in the house/garden/childcare")- uttered when he had to go back to work, after being repeatedly sacked for being a know-it-all with his boss(es). He thought he had a free meal ticket for life, knowing I would inherit a great deal of money. I was suffering from pre-eclampsia with my third DC, and teaching/being pregnant was just too much. What an oxy-gobbler.

[Hopeless25]

@swer987 I feel your pain with that. My dp told me he wanted to have a baby with me more before the previous weekend with his kids where he said I showed him that I wouldn't be an inclusive mother after doing EVERYTHING for the kids.

[WorkerBee83]

“I’m in love with someone else” after 15 years of happy marriage she’s met someone online in another country and Ian leaving me for her 😔

[AnnaNimmity]

I'm sorry you've been through it too @Gigibadid . Actually those words backfired on him, because before then, he was doing a pretty good job of persuading me that it would all work out. But those words actually made me angry - the lie and cliche.

I don't bloody bruise easily. It took being dragged around his flat and being pushed to the floor and the concrete to make me bruise.

[Swer987]

Hopeless25 that sucks.

My ex partner had a child too, spent the whole of our relationship saying he wanted another then just changed his mind.

[Purplecatshopaholic]

On having an argument about him being caught cheating:
Him - well, you were really ill and I worried you couldn’t pay the mortgage. I had to protect myself...
Him - I can’t control you and you spend money on things without taking my advice..
Oh and my personal fave:
Him - you love the dog more than me!
I do mate, he doesn’t let me down and isn’t a narc twat.

[Emptyspacex]

I have so many but the one that did it for me..
Few months after i had a brain hemorrhage -'die! die! i hope you drop down dead. I despise the ground you walk on'.. all because i said he had 1 too many to drink after 7 beers. At the time i was petrified of dying after what i went through i couldn't believe what he had said. Id never even tell my worst enemy to die.
Unfortunately for me we are still together (only just) i dream of the day i can finally leave him.

[unababy]

@yetmorecrap
I know!! My smart, sensible, switched on, take no crap, kickass DSD was in an abusive relationship for 3 years - and we had no clue!! When she finally walked away with ' I hate you you f*ing c*t' ringing in her ears I was so shocked. She was the last person I would have expected to put up with that kind of s*t. So and hugs to all you brave women and for those waiting for their moment I hope it comes soon.

[VoodooRae]

"I fucked her" said in a way that felt like he should have added "are you happy now?" he was so angry he had to tell me, motherfucker.

[tellalls]

As we broke up for the millionth time: "Can't we just skip to you taking me back"
It finally clicked in my mind

[LurkerFinallyPosts]

Oooh when he said "I'm just not a passionate person".

[WhoKnewBeefStew]

You've put the fucking own on the wrong ring

[TravellingSpoon]

I think mine came this weekend. It's been a bit of a difficult few years after an EA on his part and me trying my hardest to make everything happy, putting in too much effort to try and make him happy.

We have been away for the week with our DC's. DD was talking about bikinis and why I was wearing a costume. I told her that I am embarrassed of a tattoo I have on my tummy that has stretched and looks horrendous. 'D'H pipes up that also I haven't been able to get to the gym cos I have been working a lot of overtime. It sounds so stupid but it shows his real feelings towards me and confirms what I have believed for a while. OW was young and slim, and although I an not enormous, I am not as fit as i once was.

So now I am in the process of getting my things together, its complicated and it will take time I dont want to be with someone who thinks that of me, or who would have our DD believe you have to be a certain way.

[Astrabees]

When searching around for an excuse about 3 years of infidelity - "God gave man a brain and a penis but not enough blood to run both at the same time" !!!!

[Blippolbblopp]

"Im sorry mummy"

It gives me a pain in my chest even remembering her saying that. Ex had attacked me infront of the children because i couldnt stop them crying quick enough ( they were crying because he was kicking off )

He had locked us in the house and really hurt me. When he left i was on the floor and my 2.6 year old came over to me crying, she gave me a cuddle and told me sorry mummy.

That was my lightbulb moment. This wasnt normal and i couldnt let her carry on seeing this. I will never ever forgot my tiny little girl shaking thinking it was her fault

The police came, months later he was in court and found guilty and given a restraining order to stay away from me and the kids. Been 2 years now and i couldnt be prouder of how much all our lives have changed but i will always feel guilty for what my little girl saw, she was terrified

[Croeso78]

He was driving like a maniac, not slowing down on road bumps, I was 6 months pregnant, asked him to slow down, his response was " Do not comment on my driving, if you are not happy with it you can walk home" temperature outside was around 40 degrees C (We were living abroad) and we were probably 3 miles away from the house...this was the first time I thought, I must leave him, but took 14 years after this to do so.

[123testing]

mine used to say the most vile things ever. And I just used to cry or withdraw.

Me struggling with dc one with a disability. 'Why have all thesr kids if you can't look after them.'
Me struggling with housework and getting a cleaner. 'Why buy a big house whrn you knew you cant clean it yourself'.
Going for walks or shopping or out with friends. 'You left work to do all these things instead of stay home cook and clean.'
Me first going part time and then eventually leaving work because of dcs and being a carer for my dd. 'Other people have been filling your head abput felxible working and leaving and you're just copying them.'

The final straw was when we had a big argument about kids and housework and he was spewing his normal vile at me he said. 'You and your indecent clan don't deserve to live in a nice big house like this. You deserve to live in a council house. That would have straightened you lot out.' I said 'Why don't you go and live in a council house and leave us indecent folk.' I honeslty meant every word I said. It truly was a light bulb moment. Even though he's still here I've emotionally checked out.

[goodgirlinchachaheels]

When he woke me up as I was sleeping after my night shift and asked me for money to pay his weed dealer. I said no and lost my shit because he indebted me so much. He then threatened to leave, I showed him the door, and I felt so relieved.

[Cherrypop99]

Him: "I've been wearing your dresses and underwear for all of our 24 years of our marriage and yes, the stains on your stockings are indeed my sperm".

We have been divorced for 2.5 years.