The sentence that ended your relationship

[OhHolyFuck]

Sort of a taat, but reading sosos grammar school thread and it got me to thinking

When ex-dp and I were 'trying' (i.e. I was doing the pick me dance/hysterical bonding and he was sexting everything with a pulse and lining up his next victim girlfriend) we had a conversation about celebrities we'd like to be

I said various people for their attributes and then he said he'd be Peter Pan - when I asked why he said 'because I don't ever want to grow up, it's boring isn't it?' and it was a 'scales falling from my eyes' moment - I had morphed into this boring responsible dowdy mum but thank god one of us had because he was simply never going to take responsibility for anything

Every letter he didn't take back to school that I'd had to fill out, every time he was late for work, every time he lived off microwave burgers and spent 20 hours a day gaming - it wasn't me, it was him looking to be forever 16

So what was yours?

"I love you, but I love her as well"

-> Picks pregnant self up off floor and told him to go.

The End

"He has been sleeping with my fiancé" via a Facebook message. For a minute I thought the person was telling me ex-dp was gay but they meant Fiancée and as I already had my suspicions about this colleague I packed my bags while he was at work.

@FuckYouChrisAndThatHorse

He had said and done far worse things, but the phrase that finally opened my eyes was "Well I am."

I'd been trying to fix things - again - and had just said, "I'm not happy."

I had that - 'we need to talk, I don't think we're very happy', 'no, there's nothing to talk about, everything is fine, you always do this'.

Then, when it was over for me 'why didn't you say anything sooner'. He denied that exchange had ever happened. Twat.

"No."

We were sat in the relationship councilor's office. I suspected there was at least an emotional affair with one of my friends that she was talking to all the time and having the odd night out with. The councilor told her directly that for the relationship to have a chance she'd have to at least reduce contact with him, and asked her if she was willing to do so - she didn't even hesitate.

She was adamant they were just friends, which was apparently why it was fine that when I'd flown over to comfort my mum as her dad was dying and say goodbye for a final time myself, that this 'friend' was invited to stay at ours with her. In our bed. Because they were just friends.

Would you believe that barely two months after we split they 'suddenly fell in love?'

When I think back to how she once gave me the silent treatment for 48 hours before admitting it was because somebody ELSE had annoyed her, it's easy to be grateful. In all honesty we were very young, rushed into marriage and stayed in contact - and it seems that we're both happier for it and by all accounts she developed into a much more thoughtful person. Things turned out too well for me to hold any bitterness, but I still wish she'd just admitted there was something between them at the time!

"If you are pregnant you can abort it"

When we'd been trying for 8 months. I was exhausted and really scared I was the problem with ttc. And he'd changed his mind, during the 2 week wait period for testing and this is how he decided to break the news.

Respect gone, instantly.
He was gone the day later.

Hello, my ex insists on 50/50 custody of our son, he also insists on every other weekend and Wednesdays to be included. As he won’t take him to his swimming lessons I need to have him every Tuesday. Unfortunately my son says he feels like he's 'zig-zagging' I don’t think it’s good for him as one week he alternates each night and he is getting confused as to which house he will be staying at. Please can I ask what 50/50 or shared care arrangements others have and should the father pay maintenance even if he has him 50/50? Thank you for your help

Amongst various things, these stand out:

I love you but I am not in love with you.
It isn't true that woman need external stimulation to orgasm.

I ask him how he knew. He said, I just do.

When I asked him for the umpteenth time who he was seeing as his shirt reeked of cheap perfume... he said. Oh its the cleaner, she sprays that airfresher all over my office.

I haven't ended it yet but I've decided that tonight is when I rip the plaster off and say I'm leaving.

There have been many moments but one of the biggest turning points was the time two years ago (!!) when he in all seriousness told me I was a psychopath (I was attempting to stand up to his raging and EA behaviour). My self-esteem had been so worn down by him in the previous several years, but even I thought "Hang on, I'm not actually THAT bad, he is full of crap" at that point. However, two more grim years of hanging on due to a variety of reasons.

I cant believe I forgot this one.

I was sitting at my dressing table mirror as I had an abscess in my mouth and was using my magnifier mirror to put the ointment on it. He walked in and said 'wtf are you doing.... you are the most disgusting human to walk this planet'.

Don't think I will really ever get over than comment.

With my exH - we were on borrowed time and things had been bad for a long time, but I was trying to make an effort. We went out for a meal on my birthday. I was trying to be bright and cheery (you know the thing? Kind of 'fake it til you make it'?) and asked him what he'd like to do for his birthday, at which he snarled "I don't fucking care about your pathetic small talk when I'm just trying to get through this fucking dinner"

Something clicked in my head and that was that.

Prior to that, calling the police after a previous ex kicked me down the stairs, told me I contaminated his children, and trashed my house on Boxing Day, was pretty much the finisher for that particular relationship!!!

"What a nice guy. Very shy and polite, with a good cock".

Those were the words of the OW (as much as you could describe her). Clearly written to verify his profile as genuine, on a Swingers site.

We lived together so shared a computer, and he had been using a swinging site while I was at work and he was on shifts. As if the content of his profile wasn't enough (That's when I found out he wanted oral sex with another man). The realisation he'd actually slept with another woman was enough.

Hello - are you talking to your sister?

Said through the dog camera that I found out he had been using to spy on me when he was out.

One of mine was when he got all upset over something minor and he said 'I'm not some kind of sociopath you know?!' And I remember thinking 'what the hell? Why say something like that? No-one said you are a sociopath but clearly this crap about not remembering and never doing anything is just crap because you clearly do know you are treating me like shit'

But if you take him on his behaviour towards me it would have been a fair accusation TBH.

it was when I said "this relationship is over. Don't come home - let me know when you want to pick up your stuff."

this is what my daughters ex said to her
i am not comitted to the relationship as I dont think youre worth the effort. Followed by dont have any expectations of me i dont like relatiinships that require expectation. Dont get attached to me i want a chill relationship - awful things to say
She is so worth the effort believe me. This guy is 25!!!! She is only 20 but far far more mature

Kazzikool you need to start your own thread. That way more people will see your question and you'll get more help.

Her response this relatiinship is over. He whined that women didnt understand his needs but then couldnt tell her what they were

"But I promised my mum we would be spending Christmas with her this year."

"I dont think about you" after me asking if he missed me or thought about me when we were apart because I didnt really hear from him much - 9 month relationship suddenly refocused into "Im something for you to do when youre bored".

"I dont think Ive led you on" after me asking (while we were in bed together just after having sex and I asked him how he felt about me because he'd seemed more distant). Who says that as their immediate first answer except someone who knows they HAVE led someone on but dont want to admit it. Not even a "I care about you" placating line first.
Sadly I let that one limp on for another 6 months until he dumped me last night :(

My last ex -
Something along the lines of "shut the fuck up or I'll come up there" to my 4 year old DS who was scared of the dark and crying. He was crying because I had to go down and explain to him why his daughter was upset. Explained that she had lied to myself and my dad and disappeared for over an hour then started the crocodile tears. When I asked why she could cry and DS couldn't I was told "it's her house not his". DS and I moved 50 miles back home that night.

Ex before that "I don't care that you don't want to talk, I'm not leaving and you're being fucking selfish". He wouldn't give me space or time to calm down after an argument, refused to leave my parents home and refused to let me out my room.

DS father -
When he denied stealing my bank card and money, despite me having proof, and then claiming it was because he needed drugs because DS wasn't his.

Abusive ex -
"That was the last time, I promise" after he hit me, again.

StormTreader

When I asked if he loved me he said he of course he did, I was his wife. I asked if he liked me and he looked confused and told me to shut the fuck up. That was one of the last conversations we had under the same roof before I left

"I'm not going. Does that mean you are?"

Said about a doctors appointment that he wasn't going to for his depression.

I couldn't help him and couldn't keep putting myself through it so I left.

Hardest thing I've ever done.

9 months later I ran into him and he had gone to see someone and was so much better, I'd recently started seeing my now DH so didn't get back with him.

I still wonder sometimes

Soon after I'd told EA ExH I wanted a divorce: "I'm bloody well going to take my matrimonial rights while I've still got them." Followed by several months of suicide threats.

Whilst on a recent holiday with my 11 month in partner and he comes out with:

'But you knew we were coming away just as friends'
'You were someone genuinely pleasant to shag for a few months'
'We've never been in a relationship'

Unbelievably my 42 year old, been around the block, self had no idea that I'd been binned off about 2 weeks before the holiday. I am allegedly stupid not to have known this. The fact he never actually told me and that nothing had changed baffles me still. In that moment, having been a very genuinely lovely partner, I saw my horrible ex standing there. And I was stuck abroad with him for a few days after that as well. Marvellous

'