HELP

[melminx]

MLS HIS TEXTED HE LOVES ME HIS SORRY HE WILL SUPPORT ME AND KIDS. asked him if his stexted her and his just replied yeah to tell her to leave me be and that his sorry. just feels so raw.

Can you just say that the trust issue arose because he lied to you. But you love him and you want to work through it together (if you do) and if you're honest with each other from now on you'll be able to trust him again and both be happy. And that's what you want more than anything.

Hi mel

Don't fall for the 'don't you trust me' stuff, he seems to be using what is called 'projection' now and turning things round on you. Don't be falling for none of that. Don't let him play the victim card!

Hope you are feeling ok today

hi your right he is trying to turn it on me and im not letting him and i have texted back and still waiting for a responce he texts when he feels like it so im not playing anymore he can have some silence back because im getting angrier by the minute here!

how are you?

Theres nothing that worries a man more than a silent woman! While she is nagging he feels safe but when she is quiet..... he worries!
Make a pact with yourself today not to contact him at all. Then imagine him keep getting out his phone to check if you have texted because trust me, he will!

i know that he has told me he worries when i stop because he's scared i have given up on him but i am so weak and i cant stand my phone being silent need to know his thinking of me. god i hate that i have turned into a whining little freak!

Melminx - put your hands in the air and step away from the phone right now!!
You are not weak!! You are a woman in pain but you are now going to regain your power!! You are not going to let this man pull your strings!!

Silence is the key!

yes iohf ( melminx saluting) you are right and i am very grateful keep look ing at phone but not doing anything about it if he texts sheall delete he needs to come home and speak to me. and grow up! behaving like a pathetic child.

Dont phone him - think how sweeter it will feel when he phones you. Try and keep busy - how about a spot of spring cleaning - you know you will feel better after.

Be strong

Cleaning!!! Gosh, thats pushing things a bit

Yes the cleaning thing is a bit much i now have all the shoes over the floor and need another cuppa before i tackle pairing them up and putting neatly away. But i will feel good for about an hour or so - or until one of the little darlings throws theirs in and we are back to square one again. But they do need sorting and chucking so better get on!!

you are so right having just thought about it he will be reacting every time his phone bleeps and im hoping he'll be disappointed its not me. just bothers me his texting her to keep himself from texting me!but will (try) to stay strong and not text/phone him. thanks everyone

Hi Mel,

Just caught up with the last couple of days and don't know whether to laugh or cry over your situation! Sounds like you could make Sarah into a really good mate - wouldn't that just irk him! (and maybe worry him just a little, too ! Good for you keeping away from the phone. You have every right to have been angry with him and he has no right to turn on you for not trusting him. Let him call you - and keep your dignity. Keep strong, BIG hug.

And by the way, I don't think anybody's marriage is perfect - my sister told me that one of her friends, who always seemed to have the perfect marriage, just admitted that she thinks about leaving about one a week!

hi tanee and thanks. desperately trying to stay away from phone going into mega excitement when it bleeps and utter disappointment that its not him am seriously hoping its doing the same to him. have had mil text saying dont give up you love each other too much! so dont know if his said anything to her. sad act that i am just wish i had someone to come round and sit and chat to. its like a different world where i live im sure there are lovely people i just have met them i meet the ratbags! part of me just wants to say sod it its over he can bugger off im not being treated like this! but the thought of not being near him again him holding me is just crippling cant bear that thought.

how is it going for you?

Hi Mel, hope he's having as many butterflies over the phone calls as you! I presume you're nowhere near North London? Otherwise I'd happily come round!

Things are a bit calmer with me - I've updated my thread if you want the gory details & hope it'll be a reasonable weekend, but we'll see. I'm just taking things day by day... I've just lost a vital doc on my computer at work so am giving up and going home (was at work till 7 last night and deserve a break!) i'll worry about vital doc next week! (I work for an MP & it's her next list of surgery appointments aaaargh!!!!!)

Will catch up with you over the weekend and I hope that your phone rings with the right ring soon!!!

HI TANEE IM BY BLUE WATER. I HOPE HIS BUTTERFLIES TURN IN HUNGRY BATS AND EAT HIM SO FLIPPIN ANNOYED THAT HE CAN IGNORE ME! I KNOW NORTH LONDON WAS BORN IN EDMONTON.

morning everyone

Morning Mel, How are you? Is the sun shining in Bluewater?

I've never been there - not sure I could cope with that much shopping choice! So you're an ex-local. I live in Enfield near the N Circ & grew up in Muswell Hill (that's gone very posh since I was a kid)!

I'm working fairly solidly for the next couple of weeks but after that I'll be p/time again & am mobile. Email me if you'd like to meet up then - but hopefully by then your dp will have calmed down .

morning tanee. i was born n midd sex hospital and last place we live was fraser road just by the swimming pool on the green. last time i went back to edmonton is was a dive the green isnt what it used to be!

all very quiet on dh side not so much as a text driving me insane but am resisting texting/phoning him.

hows things for you?

My dd was born at N Middx! The Green certainly isn't what it used to be! We call it the Ghetto there's so much litter & people look so miserable! But Lidl's useful for cheap Parmesan . I'm near Palmers Green which is gradually getting trendified - we have a Wetherspoons!

Things ok here - Dp only had one bottle last night, so he's making an effort (I don't count the G&T we had when I got home from work as it was mainly Tonic. No more gin left!) Am hoping we'll have a nice weekend and he's been much nicer. I suppose I'm making an effort too - watched the cricket with him on Wednesday (don't understand cricket) and as I'm of Sri Lankan origin, it was nice that they won, and dp wasn't too upset as he's Welsh!

Any plans for the weekend?

If dp's still playing hard to get, make sure you're out having fun in the sunshine with the kids - at least that way you won't be watching the phone TOO much - and maybe he'll realise he's missing all the fun he could be having with you. Silly sausage!

dont get cricket either! but dp not into sport so dont have to suffer that torment.

Was hoping dh would be home by now but obviously not to be so will probably stay in kids got everything they need in the garden and both older dd have all there friends in the close. Not in mood to go out and see happy couples together! miserable cow that i am !!!

Then sit in the garden with a nice cool drink, some chocolate and a good novel (lose yourself in some fictional problems ) and don't envy those 'happy couples' - appearances are deceptive!

He can't stay away forever - he'll need some clean laundry soon

Got to go now Mel, will be thinking of you and will catch up later. xx

mel I hope you've managed to have a nice day?

is he back yet?

no but have spoken on phone his just doing a quote and going to call me in an hour so fingers crossed but says he doesnt believe i can trust him dont know what to say to prove i can nothing i can say can only show