HELP

[melminx]

MLS HIS TEXTED HE LOVES ME HIS SORRY HE WILL SUPPORT ME AND KIDS. asked him if his stexted her and his just replied yeah to tell her to leave me be and that his sorry. just feels so raw.

said he ytexted her first time she got back in touch as he didnt know number it isnt stored in his phone. i have texted her but she hasnt answered

Melminx, I just wanted to offer you my support - the others have been great on my thread. Can't really talk now as my depressed wino dp (see my thread!! is in the kitchen brewing coffee & I ought to go and face him since we haven't spoken since Sunday evening. But please take your time.

Ermmm. A lesbian with a boyfriend? Gosh, it's getting more intriguing by the minute!! Do you think she could just be a trouble causer?

I think MLS idea about your DH ringing her while you are there is a good one. Get him to do it again. That should be some proof that he does mean what he says.

Just don't do or say anything you are going to regret melminx. I'm a great believer in maintaining dignity don't lower yourself to her standards (or his)

why do our blokes insist on picking bunny boilers to get involved with?!

but seriously, it sounds like this really was nothing to do with having an affair or anything along those lines, and there haven't been too many texts by the look of it.

I bet he's realising quickly that he's messed up big time and there's no way he'd want to lose you because of her. He's just been bl**dy stupid! (IMO!)

Because they can't pull anything else!!

And I'd get him to change number too. If she's got back in touch once she could do it again. Get him to cut all ties and links to her.

True iohw!!

What does that say about me then...

(lol!)

Totally agree MLS!! Another one to add to the list!!

i knew you were going to say that the minute i posted it!

It says that he is bloody lucky to have you!!!

if he ever comes round again before he answer is to turn on me and say he cant take it so his going. im going from hurt to angry i want him back but hate him too

I think we should set up our own business.

We could do soooo much better than Relate

cant change number we own a loft converting business number on all advertising. his just texted for record nothing happened its like his angry at me and his no bloody right to be

Just gave dp a hug & we both said sorry for Sunday night. That's a start. Before I go to have yet more tea whilst he has coffee (he's not a pretty sight - is this the man I thought a cross between Richard Gere & Pierce Brosnan? just wanted to say, Melminx, I really feel for you - it's horrible, horrible horrible to know someone else has grabbed their attention - but take your time - you're obviously terribly upset, but it sounds like he is, too - and his text buddy sounds like a nutter, and he knows it, too. She's probably just been someone to boost his ego through this rough patch, and he knows that too. Hang in there, don't make any rush decisions yet and I'll catch up with you later.

thanks tanhee and glad you and dp are ok

i would say thats a normal reaction melminx. You are bound to be hurt and anger is good, you are working your way through it.

Men are wimps!! He will try to run away from the issue, they usually do, then we nag, we whinge and moan, and thats when they turn round and blame us!!!

Silence holds much more power sometimes. Theres nothing more unnerving to a man than a silent woman

i texted back ( i know i shouldnt have) asked if he wanted something to happen and that he lied to me he texted her knowing it would hurt me not had reply

had a didnt and dont want anything to happen im really sorry

It's called projection melminx. This is another man tactic, they feel ashamed at their behaviour but in their tiny, warped minds it's you who is causing them to feel like this because you are the one they have hurt so, in their logic, it's your fault!!! So easy when you understand

Take no notice of him.

why do we do this? love sucks!

Awh melminx. I think you should stop texting now and make plans to talk. I know he has hurt you but he does seem sorry and he is probably scared witless about facing you with it all. We really do over estimate men. They are all big and strong on the outside but inside they are just little boys. They don't cry like us though so when they are scared, angry and hurt it comes out as aggression. He can't help being a man, you have to pity him really

We do it because we can! Because we are strong, capable women who understand men far better than they understand us.

I think in his own way he's trying. The 'sorry' is a good thing - for some men that's an impossible word to say!

You have every right to be angry, and upset, so don't forget that.

I'm not sure texting him is helping you though as it's so easy to misinterpret things by text. Can you have a good face to face talk to get some real reassurance from him. Then see how you feel after that?

his still texting me said he texted her back because she wouldnt leave him alone

not ready to talk on phone let alone see him his turned me into a pathetic jibbering wreck and i dont like it.