lily, I'm so sorry to read he's still being s o unbelievably shitty to you.
My gut reaction is to contact the solicitor and get the ball rolling. Not to play games or call his bluff or anything like that, but to protect yourself, your dd and to signal to yourself and ghim, that enough is enough.
It made me so angry to read that he'd suggested he might phone you, then didn't then texted you to say he'd forgotten. he's really being so hurtful and nasty. It is really like he's goading you. And you, out of fear for yourself and obligation & love of your dd are taking it, in the hope that he'll see sense.
Maybe I'm wrong, but that's how it comes across. I am 100% on your side, don't forget, I've been in very similar situation a very short time ago, I know the hurt and fear you're feeling. It's still fresh and raw with me too.
But one peice of 'relationship' advice I was given which helped me was, If what you're curently doing is not working, then you MUST do something else. You're being nice, you're being reasonable. He's repeatedly letting you down. It's just not working. You need to do something different. It's not about playing games, it's about solving a problem. Imagine your dd is young toddler again & she's not eating. You put the food down. She doesn't eat. You get frustrated and shout, she doesn't eat. You shout more, she doesn't eat etc etc etc. So what do you do? The shouting doesn't work, so you try a different tack, you try smaller portions, or different meal times, or different food altogether or whatever, loads of different possibilites. But with our kids we constantly get creative to solve problems or improve things. YOu need to work out a different strategy with H, becasue this one isn't working.
Also, I'm guessing you're feeling unbelievably miserable, black, hopeless, terrified, zero self esteem. Bloody hell, sounds bleak, sounds like me last week.
Do something for you, do anything, an evening course if you can arrange childcare, or join a gym with a creche, or go out with friends, just something for you. If you end up as a single parent, you'll need to do stuff to make yourself happy and confident, but if, and I hope it does, it works out, there's no harm in doing something for yourself within the marriage either, is there? You are in a very scary place right now. I keep popping in and out of the same place. Today I'm out and trying to organise something for myself.
MAybe if you show your dh how confident, assertive and happy you are he'll wake up to how wonderful you are and see sense. Maybe, as with others, you'll feel so much better about yourself you won't even want him, or you'll take him back ON YOUR TERMS:
I really really wish you the hope and strength and confidence and wisdom to deal with this horrible situation. I'm also here if you need.
It WILL work out. My neighbour, whose husband did similar last year, went off with another woman, refused to give her up, split up from neighbour. Now the divorce is going through. She's having a great time, back at college, retraining, looks great, goes out all the time, loads of men interested in her. ANd her husband comes now regularly begging her, on his knees begging her to take him back, to forgive him. For her, he was too much of a shit for too long. He woke up, but for her too late. He is now miserable and desperate, she is the happy strong one, having fun and feeing great. Last year she didn't stop crying. Now she is in a fab place. She could have him back, but no longer wants him. But she found herself and her inner strength.