he wanted a lie-in, he got sex....am i silly to apologise?

[funnylittlefloozie]

My BF stayed over last night. We have a slightly unusual relationship, where we only see each other every other week because of work commitments, but its really good when we do see each other. He's been working insanely hard recently, doing hours and hours of overtime and he is really tired (and a bit grumpy).

We went to bed early last night, had a cuddle and crashed out, because he is working today as well. I woke up early this morning and felt, erm...amorous. I dont think you need the gruesome details, but suffice to say, i instigated sex and even though he wasn't really awake when i started, he didn't push me off He cuddled me afterwards and it was nice, but he didnt seem as "up for it " as usual.

But now, I feel a bit guilty, like i was a bit of a sex pest. i genuinely love him, and physically i can't get enough of him.... and i do think he feels the same about me. I think i just feel bad because he has done such an exceptional amount of overtime this week and he is tired.

It could just be tiredness that made him not up for it, couldn't it? Would i be silly to send him a text apologising for being a bit OTT this morning (not grovelling, just joky)? Am I a sex pest?

I've woken a long term partner with oral sex in the past.

However we'd had discussions about it and I was aware that she liked that sort of thing, so it was within the parameters of normal behaviour for us.

So pleased it's all sorted OP and now you can continue to wake him up this way with relish!

Er - Most red blooded men (IMO) who fancy you ,would be flattered by your sexual attention. Unless he genuinely doesn't fancy you, or you don't have any kind of consensual connection with him. In which case, he could be really offended and feel violated. That's a terrible misjudgement on your part if you have genuinely violated him and you haven't had a sexual relationship with him before this incident. I' m sure your intentions weren't wrong, but you need to let him know how you feel about him, and if he really was offended, then apologise and call it a day. He needs to know you are not a desperate sex pest, just a woman who fancies him.

Rape. If a man wrote this, thats what the women on this site would be saying.

I'm sure your intentions weren't wrong, but you need to let him know how you feel about him, and if he really was offended, then apologise and call it a day. He needs to know you are not a desperate sex pest, just a woman who fancies him.

The OP updated about four posts above yours, and the update is pretty much what most of us suspected it would be. A delighted partner who is bewildered by this thread.

Talk to him face to face. My DH is totally fine with me getting things started as a way of waking him up, and I know this because we've discussed it. Consent can be given in advance.

Also let him know if you are OK with him initiating when you are asleep or half asleep.

Rape. If a man wrote this, thats what the women on this site would be saying.

Yes, those horrible misandrysts

Oh wait they did say that even though it's clearly not rape.

What a load of sanctimonious, pearl-clutching drivel! The OP was waking up her DP in a loving way - which he is perfectly entitled to refuse - and many other couples do the same.

As someone who has been sexually assaulted (like many others on here) I can categorically say this was neither assault nor rape.

To call it this completely minimises the experiences of rape / assault victims.

This is mumsnet at its worst. Everyone is entitled to say 'no' at any time.

I'm with @Wanderlust1984 and @RebornSlippy

Utter poppycock!

@nomoreheroesanymore I completely agree with this: "To call it this completely minimises the experiences of rape / assault victims."

I do believe that one should ALWAYS clear things with a person, and that men have a right to say "no" blah blah blah, I suspect that the percentage of men who LOVE being woken up this way is around 99%.

Or may be I just think its that high because my DH considers it one of the best things about being married to me.

What can I say? Nothing really gets me in the mood like a good night of sleep.