why dont parents marry eachother?

[BarbieLovesKen]

Just a general ponder?. I first want to emphasise that I do not mean this as a criticism towards ANYONES lifestyle whatsoever!! Every circumstance is completely different, everyone?s beliefs are different and I really do not think that there is a right or wrong in this at all just genuinely curious??

why aren?t people marrying anymore? ? I mean, if you love someone enough and are sure enough about them to make a baby with them ? this ? the most HUGE commitment you can ever possibly make?.. why not marry that person?.... really? I mean once you have a baby together ? you are bound together for life because of that baby?. Marriage (in my opinion) isn?t half the commitment to having a child with someone!!.........

My friends for instance together since they were kids- (15, 16) and have been together for 15 years now.. they have four beautiful children.. mad about each other but never married and no intentions to do so? I just wonder why not?

Before anyone gives out to me ? I?m not married.. dd (HATE saying it now that shes here) was ?unexpected? but the best thing that ever happened to us so we are, you could say, doing things ?backwards? ? in the process of building the house, are engaged and hope to get married next year? ideally (for us) we would have liked to do this all before she arrived but it doesn?t matter now ? I?m just wondering though that giving the option, if planning for a baby or trying to conceive ? why not get married, house etc FIRST? (I know not everything is as black and white as this but if you love each other very much and want a baby together sort of circumstance - then why not?) Would love to hear reasons/ opinions? just wondered?..

Lilyloo - if you get divorced you are entitled to a share of the marital assets. If you are not married and you split up you have no right to any assets you may have acquired together.

Swifterella - glad I'm not the only grumpy one with PMT. Men do not like having to give up their assets on divorce (I'm sure there's a great double-entendre waiting there). They are far more likely to walk out on someone who cannot claim anything off them and to whom they have no legal responsibility.

I can see how intelligent thoughtful people like Franny can make a considered decision about this [crawling emoticon] but I do feel that yes, the more people that make the decision not to marry, the more society at large feels the effects. It is facile to say it doesn't - we live as an intrinsic part of a huge 'web' of society and all influence each other all the time; and it IS the most vulnerable in society that do feel the worst effect of this in my view; it distils down into a general view that marriage doesn't matter and the stats show that marriage does keep people together more than cohabiting, and vulnerable people can have lives that are often already chaotic, unsupported and without opportunity.....a general disregard for marriage would certainly affect this group and deny them another opportunity, that of the extra chance a marriage gives of helping to sustain lifelong relationships.

yes to baby robin rupert
the DO have ntis
there a very funy thread form eyars ago wuill find

topsya dn tiem dicver mn

Beautifully expressed Sunny - that's what I've been trying to say but it sounded like I hated single mums ...

LO haven't seen norks for ages.

I would rather be bonkers and david cameron other than Phil Mitchell who someone likened me to sound like recently

Oh who cares who does what any more. I suppose after a coupla glasses of wine, it really doesn't matter.

why thank you Chatt...

That thread is not from years ago cod I am on it

Master Robin Rupert

Ok link me the book where they have nits. Do they have threadworm as well???

UCM: I sort of see why you're saying what you're saying, but there's also an issue of what marriage is. People can (and often do) make private and deeply-felt commitments to one another, which they honour, and these may not be in the form of a legally-recognised marriage: for one thing, they might be between more than two co-parents. Equally, people who get legally married (OK, the scenario in my head is of the unplanned-pregnancy-reluctant-trip-to-registrar variety) are not acutally safeguarded against one party running off and refusing any attempt at enforcing contact with any DCs. And if said mean and nasty party is either smart enough to hide any financial assets, or downright doesn't have any financial assets, then the marriage certificate is no help to the abandoned-with-kids party.

I don't give a toss about the devaluing of legal marriage. I think marriage, commitment, public celebrations of love, are terrific, of course, but I think the're actually something separate from parenthood. I think that what will help the children of parents who don't live together, or don't want to live togehter any more, is educating people about the responsibility you have to your children ( and by this I mean, and include, children you've adopted with a partner if your partnership breaks up, etc): if you've acted as, or been considered as, or considered yourself as. some sort of parent to a child because you have had a relationship with that child's other parent, then you need to stay in that child's life.
Predominantly, people need to deal with the fact that splitting up with a partner doesn't mean you've split up with the children and basically people should try to be nice and civil with their exes for the sake of the DCS. Unless said ex is a violent paedophile or something.

there a better one too discussing topsys behavouur int h sheo shop canoot find it

eww lower middle class kids in nit shock

Madamez you are wearing my out, my brian isn't supposed to take that many words in one go, I am not joking either. I will have to go back and read it again.

I wouldn't want children without being married

but then I am 103

Chattea sil has had bfriend of couple of years take her to court to claim for payments he has made towards house in the time they were together. Not Married.!

Cod - itchy heads - not nits then ?

Aw c'mon that is not Topsy and Tim that is some bastard child of Topsy and Tim. I am talking the real deal 1950s version - I bet Mummy doesn't wear white gloves in "Topsy and Tim Have Itchy Heads".

Btw cod don't you wish these impolite people would stop having their discussion right over our heads. I mean really

Am still at loss how as oppose to marriage a loving couple bringing up children together is in any way to blame for demise of society!

i weoudl haev been bittery diappointed not ot have kdi aferwedding tbh

Madamez, You wrote a truly lovely & articulate post there and I agree with many of the points you have made

I can't really defend anything I have said other than, that yes, people (certainly if they are going to become parents) do need a path or a routine to follow. Marraige didn't guarantee it, but it made a lot of people think twice before embarking on this. There are now a lot of dysfunctional families out there. Also a lot of children who are pissed off because Dad spends his money on his new kids, Mum spends all her time with her new bloke Yada yada yada!

It's more subtle than that, Lilyloo - many couples do a great job of raising children and whether they're married or not would make no difference to their parenting. Sunnysideup expressed really well how the belief that it's fine for parents not to marry has had a knock-on effect in society.

*BRING BACK MARRAIGE* is what I say and the grooms dad should pay for it. Lets turn it around MN.

we've been together for years i want to get married he can't be arsed to arrange/pay it. i don't want to be a liney bride

But we don't all agree with you, UCM. I think you are missing that point with your posts.