why dont parents marry eachother?

[BarbieLovesKen]

Just a general ponder?. I first want to emphasise that I do not mean this as a criticism towards ANYONES lifestyle whatsoever!! Every circumstance is completely different, everyone?s beliefs are different and I really do not think that there is a right or wrong in this at all just genuinely curious??

why aren?t people marrying anymore? ? I mean, if you love someone enough and are sure enough about them to make a baby with them ? this ? the most HUGE commitment you can ever possibly make?.. why not marry that person?.... really? I mean once you have a baby together ? you are bound together for life because of that baby?. Marriage (in my opinion) isn?t half the commitment to having a child with someone!!.........

My friends for instance together since they were kids- (15, 16) and have been together for 15 years now.. they have four beautiful children.. mad about each other but never married and no intentions to do so? I just wonder why not?

Before anyone gives out to me ? I?m not married.. dd (HATE saying it now that shes here) was ?unexpected? but the best thing that ever happened to us so we are, you could say, doing things ?backwards? ? in the process of building the house, are engaged and hope to get married next year? ideally (for us) we would have liked to do this all before she arrived but it doesn?t matter now ? I?m just wondering though that giving the option, if planning for a baby or trying to conceive ? why not get married, house etc FIRST? (I know not everything is as black and white as this but if you love each other very much and want a baby together sort of circumstance - then why not?) Would love to hear reasons/ opinions? just wondered?..

the ££ fo a wedding si a red herring( i fi may use a fish analogy)
you dont need to spend mroe than £50 surely to hoof donw the register office

No, but my friend comes from a huge catholic family who would be more upset about not being invited than they are about her "living in sin" - plus she is a family person and would want them all there.

oh god get married and dont tellt hem
tis ll escises

Cod, I really don't know if we will be together forever. TBH I would be pleasantly surprised if we do grow old together. We talked it through and decided that we both wanted children, wanted to be together at the moment and wanted to try to make the relationship work for as long as possible.

We didn't feel that we wanted to tie ourselves permanently to one another or make promises we might not be able to keep.

What's not to get?

i woudolnt haev a kdi on that basis tbh

I'm quite jealous of anyone who's not married because it means they can still get married. DH & I had a big wedding that was so not us (but we were just setting up house and very much appreciated the giftlist!) I would love the chance to get married in secret (take the kids along too) and surprise everyone!
For us as a family our marriage means not having to think about the myriad little bureaucratic things an unmarried couple has to get covered for their security.

because you don't have to

I also have female friends who have always said "we don't see the point, it is only a piece of paper, just not interested blah blah blah". Then their dp pops the question and they suddenly produce shedloads of bridal magazines and are zooming off to wedding fairs every weekend.

lol at no goes
yes but oyu dont not buy a hosue cos you may not ove there foreveer do yo?

Well I do admire people who can be that committed and, well, sort of uncomplicated!

but I don't see why they can't see my POV

(it doesn't upset me, I am just mentioning it)

and weddings can cost virtually nothing - ours was only the cost of the registry office (hardly anything!)

oid be forced to force water up t he nose of any man who woudlnt get marrried to me

what woudl he resist my subtle charms

Cod I wasn't prepared not to have children (one thing I have always desperately wanted in life) just because I didn't feel I wanted to be married. I would have had children by myself if I had not found the right partner, so marriage was fairly irrelevant tbh

the house analogy is shite, sorry

I wish dp was a house and I could fix his drains though

why shite

sometiems you ahev to take a risk

we bought our house, we never intended to live here all our lives though

where is the risk? I don't think it's acceptable to get married thinking "ah well he will do for now, I can always get divorced".

I agree with Franny. I'm not making any promises i don't know if i can keep. I do hope i'll stay with dp, and there's no reason i won't, but i find the whole idea of marriage strange and i'm just not comfortable with it.

My parents and step-parents have demonstrated that marriage doesn't always have a great deal of worth. They've all made grand promises and then buggered off, its between me and dp and we don't need this particular ritual.

Not religious.
Not got any money at the moment, and if we did, we'd go on holiday
Would hate to have to be in the same room as all my family and dps family at the same time!
Don't want to change my name
Don't want to be a wife

I guess some people always dream of a lovely wedding, it's just my idea of a hellish occasion.

I don't think that's such an acceptable thought. More like 'I feel like I want to make this relationship work, who knows what the future might bring'.

Also, marriage is good for financial admin - wills, next-of-kin, protection on splitting up etc. etc.

unacceptable thought I meant!

i'm not marries.like to keep my options open.

marriage is a load of old shite.

i dont know the legal implictins - howeveri understand from skim reading a few MN threads they are quite hefty and worthwhile ones.

i wouldnt do it again.

i would rather eat my own arsehole

you don't have to change your name if you don't want to, you don't have to have family there and it doesn't need to be a big occasion in a church!

(although, I have to say, I'm not bothered whether people get married or not!)