Hi Puffling, mmm, I think you need to know exactly why he's against it - maybe you do know...
I got fed up with everyone assuming we were going to get married, because it made me doubt DH's committment to me, and we ended up having a "debate" about it...he thought I didn't want to get married as we hadn't talked about it for such a long time.. and he asked me a week later. I loved the wedding itself, but it was very much a family thing. My parents assumed that they could invite a third of the guests etc (I know, i know) so there were some very heated moments, but I suppose I wanted to get married in church, as I do have a faith of sorts (always struggling with that one!), and it was fantastically traditional, and we all threw alot of money at it.
But as a recent poster said, at that moment, it was just DH and me, and we still remember it with real fondness, 3 whole years later lol!!
I we really did feel different since getting married. I've heard this a couple of times from friends who have waited years to get married, and then said they're so glad they did. One friend really got stroppy and really shoved her DH into it, but at the wedding he was the one overcome and saying "why didn't we do this years ago"? I don't think it always means as little as some think. I also know it has to be about the two of you though, rahter than because you should/because you're having children.
I also quite frequently hear of the scenario where one wants to get married and the other thinks it's "just a piece of paper", to which I guess the trite answer is, well if it's just a piece of paper, and it makes your partner happy, then just get on with it.
Being "that" committed can't save you from heartache, but if you think you'll enjoy how it feels in the meantime, then go for it.
Oh, and I do have thoughts on the whole effect on society, but I can't quite articulate it. Where I live there is a huge babymother culture, and many [many] girls/women have one or more babies with a man who has babies with other women, and many of the men pay towards all the children, but many more don't, and it's now accepted as normal. The few women in that situation that I've chatted to at groups etc seem to feel powerless in the face of this.. rather than liberated by it.
There is a huge difference between an educated women with an above average salary embarking on having a child alone, or end up in a single parent unit due to circumstances, and those who, particularly when very young, see it as a way of belonging, or as above, just as the "norm" before they have any idea what they are capable of, or could aspire to. None of this, I hasten to add, is directly linked to marriage imo, but is maybe the sort of situation you don't get so frequently when there is a clearly identified structure that everyone sees as a good thing.
My caveat, if anyone thinks I'm being simplistic or similar. I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years, I suspect if we had got married as planned, I would still be there, or dead. For me it was the end of a huge relationship akin to a marriage, to others it was just a boyfriend and girlfriend splitting up. So I guess that colours my first comments too.
Sorry, some unbalanced waffle in there!