Then he apologizes and makes me feel bad if i try to talk about what happened
Even if we arent together in the same house he wants me to go to sleep and he wants me to have the phone while i go to bed because "its very sweet to sleep together"
And he always says that he does way more than i do and i make minimal effort As no matter what i do it is never good enough or worthy
So he is already wanting to control every moment of your life, even when you aren't physically together.
He uses emotional blackmail to prevent you from expressing your own feelings or needs.
He is brainwashing you into believing that the fault is with you, not him and how he treats you is more than you deserve.
The more you write, the clearer it is that he is destroying your self esteem. This is a deliberate strategy to make you believe that you cannot end the relationship.
Look again at the list I posted earlier in the thread:
*I want to know exactly where you are when I can't see you.
*I don't want you to talk to other men just in case one of them fancies you. They can't be trusted.
*You don't need to spend time with your friends or families because they aren't good enough for you. I am all you need.
*You aren't great with managing money so I will handle all of our finances.
*I've lost the second house key so I'll just lock the door when I go out. You shouldn't need to go anywhere anyway.
*You telling me that you don't like how I treat you hurts my feelings. I'm only doing what's best for you.
*It's your fault that I hurt you because you made me angry.
*I didn't rape you. I could tell you wanted sex really. It's your fault for teasing me.
How many more of these behaviours do you need to experience before you walk away from him?
This man does not love you. He loves being able to control you and he is prepared to destroy you to make sure he can continue to do so.
Please walk away now.
You deserve so much better than this. You really do.
The few tiny good bits where he treats you nicely are part of the manipulation. Stop thinking that there will be more good bits in the future. There won't and no good bits are worth the bad that he is putting you through now or the worse that is in store for you if you stay.
Once you have walked away, write a list of all the things he has done that are good reasons not to go back and stick it on your bedroom wall. Read it when you wobble and he is pretending that he is devastated, can't live without you, loves you more than life itself, is sorry for how he treated you and will never do it again.
One day, you will look at that list and realise that every single thing on it was a reason to walk away.
Once you are free of this man, the only regret you will have is that you didn't do it sooner.
Remember:
YOU DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS
