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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

This is loving and caring, right?

231 replies

nataliehere · 30/07/2017 14:28

Hello . I am not sure why i make such a fuss out of something like that. DP of 3 years keeps saying to me that when we live together he wants me to be always near him (we live couple of hours apart now) , wherever he goes he wants me to be there and if he could take me to work(he cant) he would take me there too. This is a sweet and loving thing right? Somehow it gives me negative feelings but i think i am overreacting?

OP posts:
Spookle · 02/08/2017 19:08

I'm so relieved to read your update @nataliehere. You are being very strong in a traumatic time.

If he threatens you at all call the police. Do you have a security chain on your door? In fact I wouldn't even open the door. If he turns up, and it is likely that he will, tell him to leave. You don't want to talk to him, he must leave. If he does not leave call the police.

If things go quiet and he doesn't turn up then watch out for him being outside your home or work. I don't mean to frighten you but be alert because he sounds all sorts of batshit.

I suggest you get one of these too. Or whatever design suits you best. I found the wrist one really gave me peace of mind when I felt anxious as I knew I only had to press it against something to set it off. A lot easier than fumbling around in a pocket or one of those dangling on a neck or wrist strap.

Wrist Worn Panic Alarm

He will follow the exact same script as the 30+ messages. Everything from declaring undying love to accusing you of having another man. He will probably call you every name under the sun while doing it. Don't believe a word he says.

He is a dementor and he wants to suck the very heart and soul out of you. Credit to JK Rowling of course.

Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them... Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will feed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself... soulless and evil. You will be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life.

Stay strong and good luck.

Spookle · 02/08/2017 19:23

D'oh! Just found there is a third page and I've just repeated what everyone else has said.

Strength in numbers. We can't all be wrong Flowers

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 02/08/2017 20:04

Really good advice from Goldmandra.

AufderAutobahn · 03/08/2017 00:14

Well done Natalie. I hope you are OK. I am so glad you ended things, your posts actually made me gasp! I hope you keep your ex (which I hope he is!!) out of your life and have rl support. You are stronger than you think Flowers

ThePinkOcelot · 03/08/2017 09:50

OMG! I've just sat and read this whole thread. What a horrible, creepy man. So glad you've ended it with him!
Stay strong OP! You deserve far more than this creep, despite what he is telling you.

TheHeartOfTeFiti · 03/08/2017 13:16

First message I thought maybe he was just being sweet and maybe he was saying he'd take you to work in a context of it was raining & you had to walk. Now I'm scared for you! Run RUN AWAY FAST!!!

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