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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not my Hen weekend- but so pissed off

315 replies

FastAbsorbingCake · 30/07/2017 11:17

Long…

As above was away on a hen weekend for someone I thought was a very good friend.

We've been friends for over 20 years and I've been her someone to call at 3am person and I thought she was mine.

The weekend was self catering which I was told by the Maid of Honour (a whole other story) that I was sorting out the food for 20 ish people.

Which I did happily, I spent the whole weekend running after sorting cooking cleaning up etc. And did it all on a very tight budget.

Just before we left the location I said ok I'm having a swim, and then packing and would someone mind clearing up after the breakfast?
Bearing in mind there was 20 of them…

Now I had cooked and sorted for 20 people for 6 meals with no help. I did ask for help and some of them wafted in and out doing nothing of substance.

So wedding has been & done and 'friend' asked to meet up. So we go for a meal and I'm told how horrible I was by leaving them to clean up on the last morning.

How awful I was by not joining in games etc. I did point I was either clearing up or cooking.
I did try to join In but MOH was very obvious in excluding me.

But no and apparently the MOH was very upset & stressed by my behaviour…

So we're in the main course of the meal, she was talking at me for an hour and I say you know what, I worked my arse off for weeks before the weekend, I was first up last to bed on the weekend.

You behaved appallingly to me on said weekend, as did your 'friends'. I assumed when you invited me for this meal it was to apologise, clearly not, so fuck off. And left. We've not spoken since. (I.e. A few months)
Well I did get an enraged text about leaving her with the bill- I'd had pasta & and sparkling water and left a £20…
Ok vent over.

The thing is I've woken up this am (am away with OH so was a late nightGrin ) to see she's called 3 times over night.

My instinct is to call, OH has said don't you dare. I hate to admit it but he's right isn't he…

But what's if she's in real trouble?

OP posts:
SinfulRevenge · 31/07/2017 23:02

.

Thissameearth · 31/07/2017 23:04

This is not AIBU but YABU for telling us you had just sex with your DH when it is irrelevant to thread and for using the phrase "adult activities" to describe it! 🤢grin]

Thissameearth · 31/07/2017 23:04

*🤢 Grin

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 01/08/2017 04:16

Purple

It's Do Fuck Off Dear or ODFOD - Oh Do...

piggypoo · 01/08/2017 07:53

Definitely with OH on this, you may be tempted to call, but don't you'll only get used again, or she will want to vent her spleen on you about something.

Serialweightwatcher · 01/08/2017 09:35

I couldn't forgive a so-called friend for treating me like that, however I wouldn't have allowed myself to be treated like that in the first place ... if I had even agreed to feed 20 people once, never mind for 6 meals, I would have expected a lot of help in the preparation, paying and clearing - had this not happened after the first meal, I would have had to make the point there and then, not wait to do each and every meal alone ... as regards the MOH part, that in itself after being so close for all these years, would have been the deal breaker in any case

FastAbsorbingCake · 01/08/2017 10:57

Hi all,

So Monday DP text Betty; saying what's happening I need to know as I don't want Fast walking in to a shit storm.
He then got a call from Betty, and OMG!!!!!ShockShockShock

So apparently New Husband (NH) was out with friends Sat night, one of his mates had been invited to that evening; wedding & stag do. But had turned all down, but then turned up on Sat night out to tell New Husband that actually he'd been sleeping with Bride for at least 6 months.

Apparently NH thought this was a weird joke, but the reaction of several of his mates changed his mind, turns out several of them either knew or suspected.

NH went home confronted Bride; who denied all, but cheating friend had shared text/photo evidence.

NH-who has always come across as a nice man; said if she told the truth now (before he said he had the texts/photos) that they could work through it, but only if she was honest (wonder if he's a MNer)

She denied everything, lied lied lied.

NH packed a bag, is now at his brothers and saw a solicitor yesterday.

The calls Sat night were for me to say that I'd been away with her for a particular weekend-I hadn't.

I have to admit I'm seriously shocked.

We're about to travel home, I'm still a bit WTF; Bride was cheated on before, so I can't get my head 'round that she was a cheater.

OP posts:
shoeaddict83 · 01/08/2017 11:07

FUCK thats an update and a half!!Shock
all i can see jumping out from that is the fact she totally mugged you off then rings months later and expects you to cover for her cheating on new husband? Seriously the cheek of it !!!!!

Ellisandra · 01/08/2017 11:10

Fucking HELL!!!!!

Offer to cater her divorce party? Grin

Butteredparsnip1ps · 01/08/2017 11:10

Well that was an update I didn't expect. Bride not looking like. Friend material...

Did your DH know thpugh?

Ginkypig · 01/08/2017 11:14

I bet your glad you missed the calls now!

You are well out of it!

Thesingingtoad · 01/08/2017 11:16

Maybe she she only got married to have the big hen do and wedding (and let others do the hard work).

Agree this "lady" isn't ideal friend material!

Ghjklf · 01/08/2017 11:16

That's sounds really peculiar. It doesn't exactly sound like 'the usual storm in a teacup' type of thing. Confused

grannytomine · 01/08/2017 11:18

Well she was a real prize wasn't she. Poor NH, I think he needs support more than her.

Ladymadness · 01/08/2017 11:28

Shock wasn't expecting that update WOW

Hissy · 01/08/2017 11:30

Wow! Just when you think you have heard it all...

Shadow666 · 01/08/2017 11:35

Oh, drama! Reminds me of the friends from Muriel's wedding.

Hortonlovesahoo · 01/08/2017 11:37

Wow, that's an update and a half!

GreenTulips · 01/08/2017 11:40

Bloody hell!! Cheeky fucker awarded!!

How did she have the nerve to call you for a cover up? Just how?

PsychedelicSheep · 01/08/2017 11:41

'Betty' must either be very zen and above it all or live her life like an episode of Jeremy Kyle if she considers that to be a 'usual storm in a teacup'. Shock

Rednailsandnaeknickers · 01/08/2017 11:45

I'm so over-invested in this thread! Wow!

Maybe Betty didn't know the full details earlier when she said storm in a teacup and more has come to light since that contact.

Yes what a cheeky bitch to have fallen out with you and then still expected you to cover for her lying cheating arse. Cow.

Offering to cater for the divorce party is an evil stroke of genius tho.

mrscropley · 01/08/2017 11:46

So the cheeky cow wanted to use you as an alibi after all that???
Taking the piss award goes to. . . Wow - just wow!!

Lweji · 01/08/2017 11:47

The calls Sat night were for me to say that I'd been away with her for a particular weekend

Shock The nerve.

Contact her back and ask for a refund (food, gifts, etc).

Groovee · 01/08/2017 11:49

OMG!!!

Figgygal · 01/08/2017 11:58

Bloody hell!!!

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