Ten whole days have passed since my whole world disintegrated and I think it would be therapeutic to get it all out. I really need support though so please don't kick me when I am down. I know I have been naive and feel stupid enough already.
Ten days ago we went to the zoo. We had a lovely day with our kids. Took them to pizza express afterwards and was generally a really lovely family day. In the evening we watched a film but he didn't sit next to me as he said he was buying motorbike stuff online. All was fine until he had a few too many drinks and was snarly about our friends we were going on holiday with. Before bed I posted on mumsnet about that particular issue and was mildly amused to see all the responses saying he was clearly having an affair with her. When I got up that morning he was distracted with the kids and I picked up his phone to see what had been going on with holiday friend. Not seeing any justification for his venom towards friend I was about to give it back when it occurred to me that there was no thread with a girl he usually messaged.
Not really knowing how to work an iPhone I happened to swipe up and ended up in archived chats where Her name was front and centre with messages the day before. When I opened it and saw that he had been sending her photos of my children the day before while at the zoo as a family and in the evening watching a film with me
Once he realised I was onto something he chased me around the garden, tried to physically tackle me to get his phone back and only when our three year old came into the room did I escape with his phone and drove to a friends house wearing nothing but a nightie to get a chance to properly look at what I had glimpsed.
And what I confirmed was everyone's worse fears. I later realised the messages only went back three weeks but in that time he had messaged her 5000 times. He had sent her