DH has died and MN Aunties are keeping things ticking over (Juan)

[TheWorldHasGoneToCake]

Just starting a new thread on Juan's orders. She'll be back when she feels up to it.

Thinking of her on Sunday/Monday as always.

Morning all
Chasing - hope you can get that extra rest - I find it very difficult to get back to sleep once I am awake.
Is it Cambridge that the dreaded Jeremy Clarkson said it was cheaper to leave your car on double yellow lines and have it towed away than to pay the parking charges . I assume he was joking !
Horsemad - I am sure we would all agree that you are very welcome to come and join us . :)
Well, it is raining here , so no gardening/allotment planned. Am going to do a big beef casserole type thing today, freeze most , but am going to keep some back to make a pie with puff pastry for tea tomorrow night. DD1 and family away now for a fortnight, so just DD2 , her partner, DH and I for tea tomorrow . I do have to do some proper sewing too , which I have been putting off until now . The sewing machine needs to be on the table and it will probably take me all day , so was waiting for a wet and quiet day . Just need to get my head into gear for it .
Hope everyone has a good Saturday .

Morning all

Bucketing rain here.
No swimming DS2's hayfever going mental this morning, nose and eyes streaming so no hopes of swimming without drowning! Have telephoned his instructer to let them know we are not giving up on swimming as missed a few weeks now, just he cant breath

Will have to find things to do today in the house, bleugh boring housework! Might do some baking with ds2 later, and school bags to attack. DS1 doing my head in with staying up late and sleeping all morning, will turf him out bed soon to try get his sleep back to normal.

Vook casserole sounds fab send some my way please Had a mad turn and got some steaks the other day, not had real steaks for years as never got why it was so great, thought I might have changed as I got 'old' but nope, still not impressed and neither is DS2 oh well saves me money I suppose

Hope the sun comes out for you all, Happy Saturday.

Vook????? Book !

The best laid plans and all that!

Was going to go to local theatre to see the new Despicable Me film but it is absolutely bucketing now, really monsoon style so not going. Would have to park away from theatre in long stay and would be soaked by the time we walked there, dont fancy sitting sodding wet and steaming in the theatre will go another day. Oh well we have home made popcorn, anyone want some? (I am a cheapskate)

haha! Willow - wimp!
Other way here - rain has cleared up . Picked up the beef to make casserole, but popped to allotment to pick some french beans and broccoli. The (2nd) shed roof is leaking ... . I am now about to sort casserole, leave it cooking and then helping DH re-felt said shed roof . Luckily we had the roof felt left over ( deliberately) for this job in the autumn ... .
What a glamorous life I lead . Save me some pop corn for later :)

Will swap it for casserole

Just about holding it together with a over excited and over tired boy, grumpy DD and me and DH who didn't sleep well. Going to jig things around for tonight.

Was very very wet here! Managed to have fun (mostly).

Seeing MIL tomorrow which will either be great or very tedious. Staying there the night.

Hugs to squirrel and to jane glad you managed to avoid your mum.

Will check in with you all later x

Evening all

the shed roof sorting took all afternoon. But at least it's done, and the weather had the grace to wait until we got home before it started raining!
Cake - holidays are stressful, all by themselves - hope you get a nice day tomorrow , fingers crossed , and you get some sleep !
Willow hope you enjoyed the popcorn!
Thinking of everyone tonight
Has anyone heard from Selena ? Hope she's okay, along with Chasing and Juan
Sleep tight all
Thoughts and Prayers

Selena posted elsewhere today, carrying on from the tone of her post.
Love to all x

Ooh book forgot all about it! Was quietly moaning I needed something sweet to munch on. Thanks😀😀

Well, poor sick DS wasn't feeling any better today so I insisted I would take him to the out of hours doctor, who diagnosed tonsillitis, which is what we suspected. He had it a couple of years ago and I think we caught it earlier this time so hopefully he'll perk up soon. He's just glad he's at home so he can get looked after. I do miss the NHS - that doctor's visit plus the prescription cost us over €80.

Cake I think you must've had the rain we had yesterday, but it's been lovely today so hopefully you'll get good weather tomorrow.

Morning all
Lovely sunny morning here .
Drama - poor DS - tonsillitis is one of those things that is much worse than a lot of people realise. DD gets it occasionally. But €80 .
Hope you had a good nights sleep Cake,
Just slobbing at the moment in my dressing gown - cup of tea , watching 'The Beechgrove". But as soon as that has finished, dressed and off to do shedloads of hoeing and weeding at the allotment. I need to earn my lunchtime bacon sandwich :)
Have a lovely Sunday everyone
Thinking of you all

I did some garden stuff yesterday, finished pressure washing the patio and tidied up a bit.
Now it just needs a complete garden make over - oh well.
Think I'm going to cut down the lavender hedge in the front shortly, deems too early but it's totally gone over now and the sooner I do it the more chance of it being a nice little hedge over the winter.

I've been chatting to a couple of widowers from WAY. Messed with my head a bit sharing deep emotional thoughts and feelings with a man (having only really ever done that with a man I'm sleeping with, or hope to be doing so, before), but I've processed that and now have them firmly in friend boxes in my head. Really helps to talk to others who've been through similar, although both of them had been with their wives for a long time, so different in that respect. Alot of it is just time filling, lonely late evenings etc.

I've also been looking at OLD, although my profile is almost non-existent. Not sure what my thought process is here. I know I want to have someone significant in my life again at some point. I don't know how I reconcile that with John, but he's gone and what we had is over - I have the memories and I always will but I no longer have him. I can full my life with doing things, but a lot of it would just be things for the sake of it - I know one of you (bookbook I think) said very wisely that one of those things might be something I love, and I appreciate that. But I also know that I am happiest in quiet companionship. Anyway at the moment it is just something I am browsing and dismissing, I'm only on a free site and not intending to pay atm so won't be contacting anyone just yet.

Opps, the hens are making a noise and I've just realised I haven't fed them yet. Better go and do that.

Arghgh stupid phone is jumping all over the place or is it the website?

Morning all (only just)
We all slept in and been slobbing in front of sat kitchen😀

Raining again where is the summer??

Need to go get shower ds2 going on about cinema again so need to move but ol' Nigel has just started...

X posted with you squirrels
You need to do what works for you. Only you know what feels right for you and when the time is right.

It's good that you can share experiences and thoughts with others who have gone through the same even if it's time filling you may be getting more from it than you maybe realise?

Oh I am Willow, there is a lot of mutual-help grief counselling in there, processing of what we have been through and are going through. Plus there are sparks, with both of them - hence my issues with it initially - to the extent that you can spark with someone you don't really know and aren't likely to meet. Thankfully, I think, they are both reasonably geographically distant!

Hens fed, washing machine on, now need to motivate myself to blitz the house. I'm normally very tidy and while I'm sure to most people it looks fine, the last few weeks have gone to pot a bit and it's getting to me now. Then if it dries up a bit the lavender.

Hope you get to the cinema Willow.

Of course I don't mind you posting horsemad, are you local to me - very distant memory or maybe another site?

Hope you are all having fun cake.

IHi chasing, I'm in Lincolnshire so not too far away from you, although Lincs is a BIG county! 🙂

Ah, you aren't a previous poster I was thinking of then .

Afternoon all
Chasing - I think in your situation there isn't a wrong or right thing to do , so you must do what feels right for you. It can be so hard to motivate yourself, and you are doing the best you can there, and reaching out to secure a future you can look forward to ( hopefully) . Gosh - a garden makeover sounds like a lot of hard work/thought - quite daunting in fact!
Willow Sat kitchen on a Sunday??? :)
Horsemad Lincs is a big county - but maybe not quite as big as God's own
Cake - hoping you are out and about enjoying yourself .
Well, I really earned my sandwich, and then after lunch DH and I have been clearing up stuff , ready for a tip run, and putting things we need to keep tidily away . Being miserly we kept all the old gravel from our drive as useful for either the allotment or as an edging around the green house, but it is in lots of old compost bags at the mo, so got those tidied away out of sight at last.
Just need to go and prep some veg, other than that I've done for the day, maybe a bit of crotchet on the cards this afternoon.
Have a good afternoon all

Hi ladies

Read it all but my brain is mush so might be a nonsense reply.

Squirrel do what feels right for you. No one will judge you.

drama tonsilitis is horrid, hope it's a quick recovery.

We've had a good day out and timed it were very lucky so it was dry. Now just awaiting a large chicken to cook in an impossible time scale

Some bimbling around tomorrow and boring normal stuff like washing!

Afternoon all

book yeah😀 'best bites'
Well had a different day than expected😀 only heavy drizzel so went off with ds2 but film not on at same time today as yesterday so got ds2 trainers and went for coffee and cake instead. In sports shop i heard a familiar sound so went outside in time to see a parade go by😀 pipe band, horses and floats. Nice surprise to brighten the day. Coming home not so nice pea soup and heavy rain.

Ds1 on other hand is lucky I don't have a patio 😉😉

Oh dear Willow, that doesn't sound good. Hope things improve with ds1 soon!

Sounds like everyone has had reasonably productive days and now setting down.

It's rained on and off all day here, so the lavender remains uncut. The sun has come out now but I'm just about to go to my parents for tea.

I wasn't actually thinking about whether people will judge or not, more about where I am and what I'm able to cope with.
In many ways I want to move forward, in other ways I'm in no place to do so. So the sensible thing is to keep on keeping on at the moment, and hold the OLD as something to browse when I feel like it.

Oh, and the garden needs a complete makeover, its almost certainly not going to get one!

Good squirrel I didn't want to say be careful not to get hurt but then I'm guessing you already do, so just feel your way around carefully.

Stuffed to the gunnels with roast and cake and fruit with cream

book sounds like a very busy weekend

willow I have been eyeing up mil's decking for both children and her
DH has gone for wine as his coping strategy.

Sounds good cake, I've had roast and then crumble, very nice. Will DH be sharing his wine?

The potential for hurt is massive isn't it, I'm not ready for that.
At this point I'd just quite like someone to go to the cinema with, maybe to have dinner with.
Although I recognise I'd also like someone to give me a hug, to care for me. But I want that someone to be John.
I can remember telling John when we were just starting, and I was maintaining that it was just a bit of fun, that there was no way he'd hurt me as much as my ex. There were a couple of points early on where he did - although the circumstances were completely different. And the pain I'm going through now puts all that into perspective - although of course John didn't chose this.

Evening all
Chasing - you obviously have a good idea of what you can/cannot do and cope with , and you have had to cope with so much already
Willow - are we going to hear another wail later tonight? They do know how to push all the buttons ..But at least you have managed the non marking trainers, so you need some sort of medal!
Cake - oh dear , its not a good MIL time then - but only for tonight then off and away I seem to think? - hold onto that - or even better. leave the DC with her , and go off with DH .
DD2 and partner gone now, all tidy, dishwasher on and some wildlife thing on the TV. Quiet night with a bit of crotchet ( of course !)