Figaro Mumsnet is open to all, mums, dad, non-parents alike (as far as I am aware).
People rarely display their sex in their username. I have a sneaking feeling many who have a male name in their user name are not necessarily male, so how do you know who is male and who is female on Mumsnet?
Here is what I think about affairs/cheating/adultery as far as people respond.
Men seem to not be very interested in debating adultery unless it effects them personally. Women seem to have a sense of moral outrage and so I guess many of the people commenting on the affairs others may have are women who are expressing disgust and anger, whether or not the person having the affair is a male or a female.
When my dear friend was going out with a guy in college (we were all in college) she told us firmly if he ever cheated, that was it. When he did, with a very attractive women, she was distraught but she was more concerned to keep the relationship with him, despite the 'affair; which in this case was (I think) a one night stand.
His male friends were openly quite impressed that he had managed to sleep with such a beautiful woman.
My own opinion was that she should do as she wished, forgive him and try and make it work, or leave him and move on. We eventually lost touch so I don't know how the story ended.
My point is that males and females cheat. I think it is not a 'male or female only problem'.
But how posters view this, how they response is based on their own expectation, their own experiences maybe (I am guessing those who have been cheated on or who have friends who have been cheated on) will be very angry at the OP because they see themselves (or their friend) in her husband, even though the actual situation may be quite different.
My feeling is women will share more, tell their friends what has happened etc. But based on my observations of life, men seem less likely to discuss their relationships, and so men may actually know few friends who have been cheated on etc. And even if they do, I would be surprised how many would want to get into long debates on line about it.
So I do not think this is a men verses women issue, or that many posters who are men are coming on to beret the OP. But rather that many women are discussing this topic. Some will see an affair as a marriage breaker and will see the harm but others might see that the marriage was already broken, the OP already looking for a way out. And in such circumstances, especially where children are concerned, the issue is more about how to move forward apart, than how to try and 'fix' a broken marriage.