How would you feel? (Stag do)

[DiamondShine]

In a close circle of friends, all couples, the lads are currently on a stag weekend abroad so us girls got together to for takeaway and drinks tonight.

How would you feel if your the only person who hasn't heard from your man since they landed yesterday afternoon? Literally radio silence.

sending hugs x

I sent him a text message but also sent to his whatsapp and FB messenger (so he can't say he never received it) saying "Can you imagine how upsetting and humiliating it is to see your H dancing that way all over FB"

That was an hour and half ago. No response. He's been active on FB since then but hasn't opened the message.

I forgot to add that the video had been viewed over 200 times when I saw it.

So sorry OP. He will know you know even if he hasn't read your message, his mates bf's will have let them know.

The fact he's not phoning straight away and begging to explain it was a drunken mistake. Makes me think it's more and he's trying to cover it up before speaking to you. Or he just doesn't care, sorry!!

I don't think I could forgive him now if I were you.
How long have you been together? What's the housing situation?

At the least I'd be packing him a bag and telling him to go stay elsewhere.

I meant his mates gf's not bf's, although I don't know some may have bf's!!

OP that's awful, I'm so sorry

I'd be livid if my husband made no contact regarding a child - I wouldn't worry so much about myself necessarily but not checking in on offspring is particularly rubbish. That combined with a shitty video is really horrible

If I was him I wouldn't have replied yet as I would be busy tearing strips off whichever tosser saw fit to post a FB Live video from a club on a stag do.

I am in a minority but wish I had lived years ago where there wasn't this constant requirement to keep checking in with people and to put evidence of every bit of fun on social media.

Oh OP. I came on to say it wouldn't worry me if we weren't that way inclined and we had no children but having seen that you do, and seen the following update re the dancing... well. I'm sorry OP. I'd be gutted and feeling so humiliated, even tho logically you are definitely not the one who looks bad through all this.

And just a thought op, but if it's very out of character could he have been under the influence of something other than alcohol? Not that it excuses his behaviour and depending on your stand it might even be more of a deal breaker.
Just seems odd if he's not usually the type even when single!

The fact he's not contacting you and not opening your messages is what would concern me. Is your relationship usually ok?

Normally guys would be doing the guilt text, laughing it off and pretending it was a drunken nothing. Yours is ignoring you. Not even checking how his daughter is.

I'd be concerned about the relationship I think.

He really has cut himself off from any commitment and family responsibility this weekend

He really has cut himself off from any commitment and family responsibility this weekend

Isn't that the point of a weekend "away"? Within reason obviously

Mmmm. DH and I aren't big with contact when apart, except to say he's reached safely and the hotel is lovely.

I personally wouldn't let it bother me, especially if it's your normal.

Your friends are rather insensitive for pulling faces like that TBH.

I don't think it is ok not to contact someone when you have children together. Sorry, maybe I am being old-fashioned. I am also someone who hates people having phones out constantly on a night out but when someone is abroad there is always a spare moment when they are getting ready etc..........they could send a message.......

Just read your update about the video. Sorry to hear he did that.

These stag weekends can get out of hand.

I think checking all is ok once a day when there is a young child involved is what should be expected, going totally NC and ignoring her messages, not even reading them, isn't ok.

The video just compounds it.

He really has cut himself off from any commitment and family responsibility this weekend

Isn't that the point of a weekend "away"? Within reason obviously

Not once you have kids though. You can't just pretend the worled doesnt exist.

OP sorry you've seen what you've seen.

Just spoken to the bride (the one who told me about the recording) apparently he's gone into full meltdown mode saying he's not sure if he has a home to come back too.

As for me still no response

I'd message him 'you won't have a home to come back to, if you don't call me now!'

OP, do you want him to come home? Xx

I honestly don't know

"apparently he's gone into full meltdown mode saying he's not sure if he has a home to come back too."

You mean he's gone into full victim mode, designed to elicit sympathy from all those around him.

This is where you are apparently supposed to contact him and say "Of course you've got a home to go to!"

It's cowardly and self-pitying behaviour from someone who has yet to own up to what he's done.

It's not necessarily a deal breaker. You just need to talk. Everything is raw just now. The NC would piss me off though TBH

I would expect at least one text, simply because if others have had the chance to text, and he's truly with them, then he'd have the same chance (unless they were waiting on him for some reason). Having a kid increases the expectation of a msg. Something simple like "things are going good. Hope X is being good for you! Love you" not a full on conversation.