How would you feel? (Stag do)

[DiamondShine]

In a close circle of friends, all couples, the lads are currently on a stag weekend abroad so us girls got together to for takeaway and drinks tonight.

How would you feel if your the only person who hasn't heard from your man since they landed yesterday afternoon? Literally radio silence.

If you watch it on your phone and screen shot, but keep doing it, so constant screen shots. You get good stills and you can zoom in etc! My bf had me do it once on a music video to prove he was in the background.

B

I get the humiliation OP, but you shouldn't feel that he should.
It's a tricky one, for me it would come down to if I thought it was drunken stupid behaviour that went no further or if I thought there's a chance more had happened.
The first he'd be in big trouble and have a lot of making up to do, the second it would be over and he'd come home to his bags packed.

I'm so sorry for you, as you seem like you really trusted him x

I don't blame you for feeling humiliated. The no contact will feel worse now because of what you have seen. If you have a samsung phone, you can take a screen shot. My DH recently admitted to having a private lap dance on two separate boy's holidays. I was fuming and felt completely humiliated. Things were bad between us for at least five days, I just couldn't forgive him. We had a lot of heart to hearts and things are much better now. He had since decided (nothing to do with me) that these holidays are not for him and he would rather spend time with me and our three DC. You will probably feel like shit until you can see him and sort things out. Good luck x

Oh god, I'd be livid too.

He has been an arse. I initially thought he would be having phone problems but no contact yet vids on FB for the world to see....nope!

Before I read your recent updates, I wasn't convinced you were okay with the no contact OP. It felt like you were trying to convince yourself you were.

Even if it's normal for you both not to text, if he knew the other guys were texting their partners surely he'd drop you a message too? Even just one?

The fact this is the first time you've spent more than 1 night away from each other and there's already a video of him in the background with another girl, shows his priorities.

I'd message him and say you've seen the video and he can go straight to his mums/a mates house when he's home.

Why should you sit at home and feel shit when he's away havkng a good day? Make him worry and know exactly how you feel! First weekend away and this is how he behaves? Sorry, he'd be gone.

The no contact genuinely didn't bother me. At first I thought there was a no phone ban until I met up with the other women. I had had a few glasses of wine as my parents were babysitting for the night so it did play on my mind until the next morning when I had rationalised it in my head again that he was having fun rather than being glued to his phone as usual.

The dancing I'm really not happy about. He's never been that guy no matter how drunk he's been in the past (before us getting together also) I would never have known about this as I don't use FB much if it wasn't for the bride phoning home this morning so everyone has seen it.

Just checked and it's now been deleted.

If you got a screen shot before it was deleted, send it by what's app. I agree with a PP. Why should he be having a fab day and you feel like shit? Also, I think a no phone rule is childish.

I would be upset yeah. To me a text means my partner/sister/friend is thinking of me. X

I'd second texting him to say you've seen it and he needs to go stay somewhere else, when he gets back.

Betting you get contact from him then!!

DH didn't contact me on his stag, no need as we are secure in our relationship.

Several texts or calls doesn't mean anything really does it? They could be balls deep in between!

Hate the fact that I have just checked when he was last active in whatsapp and FB messenger 5 minutes ago. Just screenshot it so he can't say he didn't have his phone on him. This isn't who I am!

I need to have a think what I'm going to say then text him once I have put DD down for a nap.

How old is he?

I can't be bothered with the bloody stag/hen days away malarkey. Surely most adults have got everything out their system before they settled down and have children

He's 35.

Its pretty shit and I would be especially hurt that he couldn't take a minute from his dirty dancing to find out how D's is

I'm so sorry OP, that is total crap behaviour on his part, to put it mildly. did you manage to save any of the videos?

And I'm sorry, I might be in the minority with this, but to my mind doing dirty dancing while on a heavy drinking stag do in your mid thirties is a bit sad.

Yes I managed to video the recording. I agree PP at his age its pathetic and embarrassing on his part

I like to hear from him when he goes out and I'd feel a bit put out and worried if I hadn't at all but then I think if I was away with friends having a good time I might not remember to message him either! I guess it's different still if he's ignored a message you've sent.

Guess it's something to discuss calmly when he's back for future trips/times apart so you don't end up feeling like this again x

I'd have been hurt at no contact as you have a little one and she'd been off.

I'd be fucking off the wall about the dancing. Depending on how bad it was for me it may be a deal breaker. I realise it wouldn't for most and I'm in the minority but for me I'd be .

Sorry op, you must feel embarrassed and like shit. What an asshole.

On my hens I think I texted DH maybe twice, when he was on his stag, I got one phone call. We were both fine with that.
My two friends who were constantly texting and talking to their (then) other halves don't know that those blokes were the ones that cheated on them whilst they were on the stag.
(I'm married yonks and they are both happily married to different blokes now so no issues).
Completely anecdotal but don't think there's any link between strength of relationship and frequency of contact...

Hadn't read all the way to the end so didn't see about the video...sorry OP

OP, bless you. What an utter wanker. I would be furious!

You won't feel any better until he is home and you get some answers but for now try and not think about it too much. Pretty impossible I know! Put on some empowering music and enjoy the sun.

I realised this has moved on somewhat since your OP but in terms of texting or no texting I think it depends on your relationship.

My ex would go abroad for weeks at a time and I'd never hear from him. My current boyfriend texts me through the day always and even if he's only away for one night will call me in the evenings - so if I didn't hear from him in this circumstance I'd be very concerned.

Generally though I think it would be considerate and normal to send at least a quick message checking in and letting you know how it was going.

With your update I would be furious. I'd probably message him and let him know you've seen it and you'll discuss it when he's back...