The Dating Thread 119 | Summer days, drifting away...

[pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.

7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.

1. If it's not fun, stop.
2. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Please don't anyone in a remote area shoot me now, but I have 12 potentials I'm writing to on pof. I've given five my number. One wanted to chat for longer and another one Mr Serious, has gone quiet.
That leaves:
Mr Jobs - 4 years younger, grammar awful but hot, nice, hardworking and keen.
Mr Films - funny, no kids, maybe immature
Mr SameEmployer - no kids but good grammar, good job, older.

Dates arranged with first two. I think I would have most in common with the third.

My only advice with sex only relationships is to not keep them
Around too long if you don't want to get attached

Lama - have you met these men in real life or just spoken on the phone?

Hi everyone. Still following the thread but not having much luck in the dating world. Saw this and had to share! Pretty much how I feel at the moment

Hi all. So I could do with some moral support here. I have had my profile up for 1 week now and have got nowhere. I don't have anyone to chat to at all never mind meet up with. I'm in Scotland and nobody is interested if you don't live in Edinburgh or Glasgow. I only live 30 mins from Edinburgh so not exactly travelling to the moon and back. Really not sure what to do, is it a case of resigning myself to the fact nobody will be interested at all?

Elm Like that for me too but although semi rural, there are still 250,000 people within 20 miles of me!

Smeaton I have a list! Only six are writing regularly so it's not so hard.

User most still on pof. Haven't spoken to any on the phone.

Hi shatner that's interesting. Did you find that info on the site? I found some guys that sounded great and said they liked my profile and I was attractive but they want someone in their town. I'm 30 minutes say fgs. I just don't get it at all. I wpuld move house if I could afford it because the thought of bring ignored because of where I live is awful

No, I've lived here all my life, I know how many people live in the two big towns and have added 50,000 as a guess for all the smaller ones in between

I have not replied to people over 45 min away (smaller towns), but think within this is fine. One that was 1.5 hours away sent a few messages and I said "sorry the distance would be tricky". He said "good luck looking in your small fishbowl" I live by a city

Just checked and estimate that I have over 440 000 people within an hour of me. That explains why it is easier for me on pof than in a rural area but not necessarily why so many are weird .

Elm are the roads treacherous where you are that 30 min is hard work? or is it lazyness on their part?
I've dated two men at 30min distances and that was fine.

LanaDReye not treacherous at all, it is motorway the whole way!! I drive a 45 minute commute on country roads every day so really can't understand why people think 30 mins on a motorway is too much :(
I'm just coming up against a brick wall time and time again!

30 minutes away is fine - that probably my limit. Lots of potential in e water but that's too far for me!

I can't go too far as I have a dog now though

There's hardly anyone on POF less than 45 minutes away from me, I am rural so most of my irons are around a hour away.

Lovemusic perhaps then the guys I'm speaking to are just using distance as an excuse then.
I would love to even find one guy to chat to!!

It's peaks and troughs I was getting bit disheartened but the tinder irons are creeping in now

The 30 minute distance may be fine for you, but presumably if those people are living in big towns or cities, they'd have thousands of people who are far closer. They have a wider choice than you, so you can understand why they'd choose the easier option..

Just back from a date with Ryland's twin brother my idea of a nightmare . He forgot to mention in his profile and What's app chat that he has two under 5s. It was painful and hard to escape as he wanted to educate me on how to use gym equipment.😂

Thankfully it was just a coffee and cake date. His profile seemed so normal!

Oh no Lana, sorry to hear that!

Queen, Nearly, Lana, Lovemusic - thanks for your thoughts on hookups. I feel a lot better in myself to be honest even thinking sex is a possibility, somehow.

I think the thing about this internet dating thing is that there are periods when there seem to be literally no prospects at all, and that can be miserable. But, like jobs, you only need one. Things turn up.

I hope.

AntiG it was ok as at least funny. Seriously I had to stop myself laughing at him at several points. I have had 5 worse dates.

I'm seeing Mr Jobs tomorrow and Mr Serious who now seems to be more relaxed Tue.

Mr SameEmployer no date planned yet. Not sure I 'get' his humour. Have one more new one, Mr Hot I'm sure too hot for me but you never know .

Few more on pof aren't writing much so prob stick with What's app irons.

Antig and you just never know when a good one will turn up!

Hey
Had long conversation with the potential hook up guy which makes him seem less appealing. I think the right thing for me would be to bale. I can feel being desired sucking me in and I think it would be a really powerful statement in some ways to make the call that I'm walking away from this one, and do so decisively. but I don't want to go back to just being bored and unwanted :(

he actually really likes me and is absolutely sure that we're on the same wavelength, with no idea of how big red flags are a couple of things he's said

he doesn't have my real name or phone number or even the precise village I live. I could just disappear by unmatching

Or I could say "nice to chat, I'm going to go now as this isn't for me" and unmatch

Or...I could just leave it there and leave it open, which is what I appear to be doing, bothering me and keeping me awake

Sounds like a lot of people aren't having much luck at the moment... I refer you all to rules 8 and 7, because they seem to be the most relevant at the moment.

Had a look on POF and spotted someone with a very similar profile to mine - and what was my initial reaction? Zero interest. I'm now wondering I come across to men, given my reaction to this guy! It's like I spotted a male version of myself was instantly bored...

Not taking it seriously, just having a little browse... and I feel like I'm become one of "those" people. I should be taking it seriously. I've stopped seeing those profiles as real people. I think if you spend too long on OLD sites, you become utterly jaded...