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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

From Russia With Love (earrings 2)

449 replies

MarilynMonsoon · 25/06/2017 23:54

Can't believe so many of you helped me that I need a new thread!?

No contact tonight, dread tomorrow's return to the flat though

OP posts:
ComputerUserNotTrained · 09/07/2017 09:07

God, can't believe I forgot to post this earlier! It's one of my favourite tunes ever :)

ShizeItsWeegie · 09/07/2017 09:42

MM, no matter what you hear about him in the future, met the girl of his dreams blah blah. Fathers seven kids blah blah. YOU know he is a liar and a cheater and a scum bag. Had he been decent, he would have had a conversation with you about the future for both of you. From the moment he knew you couldn't have kids he should have changed things THEN, not carried on and on and on. He would still be shagging on the side had you not confronted him so either the wanting to have kids thing is bollocks, and in which case the above applies or.....he just chose the one thing about you that he could say that would hurt you the most and in fact wanted to remain living with you and was actually happy to not have kids. Either of these scenarios makes him the worst type of utter shite ever. Remember that when you are getting unsolicited feedback about his so called amazing new life. He is scum and you know that in your heart.

Jayfee · 09/07/2017 09:55

if you want children, when you feel stronger, start finding out if there are ways...i know my mil had her son with a dropped womb 40 years ago...

PoorYorick · 09/07/2017 11:31

His official line is still that I am infertile and he wants a family, and that I overreacted to a colleague dinner.

If I heard this of a man, I would think:

  • You are thick as shit for being in a relationship with a woman who could not have children if you knew you wanted them
  • You are a dick, because even if it's true it's private and personal, and you could simply say that the relationship had not worked out or you were incompatible or had grown apart
  • You are a liar and a cheat, because the number of women who really do 'overreact' to nothing more than a friendly social dinner with absolutely no background is so vanishingly small that I don't believe you.

Whatever he does now, OP, it doesn't matter. He treated you like absolute shit, he said the worst things he could think of purely to hurt you. None of us can say what he will or won't do in the future but we CAN say that he treated you like dirt, made an arsing great fool of himself to the point where even his best mate thought you were in the right and wished he would fuck off, and it doesn't matter what he does with his life as long as it no longer impacts on yours. He is a shit.

ProphetOfDoom · 09/07/2017 11:50

He has to construct a narrative for himself because anything else would mean there is a very ugly personal looking back at him every time he looks in the mirror. And so there is. He's a pustule. But he has to construct an alternative 'truth' and drown out his inner voice. He is to be despised and pitied really. But more pity should go to the woman who next ties her future to him.

By contrast MM you are free and clear. It's ok to ponder, it's all part of the grieving process. But remember you've behaved with strength, integrity and humour & deserve nothing but happiness going forward.

MmeGuillotine · 09/07/2017 13:18

It absolutely, definitely, totally will get better. Promise.

He is such a cock and never deserved someone as amazing as you anyway. This is hard now but it leaves you free to have an even better life without him. xxx

Earlybird · 09/07/2017 14:33

You were completely blindsided. In less than 24 hours, everything changed, and the full impact is probably still sinking in. I imagine you are feeling numb, confused, furious, sad, lost and a whole host of other emotions. The life you knew vanished suddenly, and you haven't yet built your new life. It will come, but it will take time. Thank goodness you have good friends to support you along the way.

As ProphetofDoom said, he has come up with a narrative that justifies his deplorable actions - makes him look OK, and you an over-reacting nutter. Maybe he even believes it himself. But he has to come up with something vaguely 'acceptable' because he can't bear to think about how badly he has behaved. He knows everyone else, if they knew the truth, would find his behaviour abhorrent. In spite of his sharp clothes and good smelling cologne, he is a deceitful, dishonest, selfish and cruel person.

I struggled for months (maybe years) to grasp the actions of ex-dp. There was no neat or simple explanation. One Saturday, we had a life together, and by Sunday afternoon, it was gone. I remember feeling a physical pain, a tightness in my chest, a throbbing head, and a pit of the stomach ache. It was incomprehensible that he could simply turn his emotions off, like a tap, and move on without seeming bothered. It became clear that he hadn't been honest with me for a long time.

Just accept that there are some things you'll never understand, but be grateful the 'real' person revealed himself to you - no matter how painfully. It means you will have a different future than you thought, but a better life eventually.

Keep taking it a day at a time, hour by hour, even minute by minute. Be patient and kind with yourself. Time is what will heal - as trite as that sounds. Yes, it will get better.

chellem1 · 11/07/2017 20:35

Delurking to ask how the move went yesterday?

MarilynMonsoon · 13/07/2017 09:55

I am in my new flat!!

It's gorgeous and I'm in love with it :) was worried about ex being in the old flat but he's apparently behaving himself and out himself in a couple of weeks. Don't know where he's going, don't care.

In myself I feel like I'm skating on thin ice at times, I have terrible raging black moods but these are a bit better since I've moved, I just wish the crying wouldn't hit me out of nowhere. I'm not crying over him, just the life I thought we had. I still can't believe I had no idea, that he was that good at lying.

OP posts:
nigelsbigface · 13/07/2017 10:40

Ah great that you've moved in!
You will be up and down for ages op-but soon there will be more good days than bad- and then you will wake up and realise you haven't thought about it for a day, or two, then a week...
Be kind to yourself now-book stuff in to fill your time and if you can something big short to mid term to look forward to...(holiday?).

You can do this and you are free of someone who would have weighed you down...what a great chance at a happy life you now have!

TheLegendOfBeans · 13/07/2017 10:49

Marilyn

After my marriage ended I remember crying out of nowhere in Greggs when I was getting a steak bake.
The lady serving me asked if I was ok, I told her, she came right out and then hugged me before saying "men are shits aren't they?"

Got ma steak bake for free too.

The next public crying incident is when I was trying to explain to my cousin in a age in Hampstead that no no I really had left my marriage and wasn't bluffing. There were some tears. Out of nowhere over slides a pastry shoved towards me by a concerned-faced Victoria Coren Mitchell.

In other words, the crying and blackness is all part of healing. You'll flourish in no time.

Congrats on the new home x

hellsbellsmelons · 13/07/2017 11:44

Yes, the crying hits you very suddenly and you don't know why.
I had a long time of crying every day and then it lessened.
Then suddenly something was trigger it out of nowhere.
It's odd.
But it will get better.
You are doing so well and I'm so pleased your love your new place.
Keep busy and look after yourself.

PoorYorick · 13/07/2017 12:17

It's a huge amount of emotion in a tiny space of time. It's got to go somewhere. As another wise and strong woman who didn't need a man would say...let it go.

SecondMrsAshwell · 13/07/2017 12:55

De-lurking.

Loved the Tudor references, but you're a better woman than me, Marilyn - I'd have recreated a messy Tudor execution with him as the subject if he'd done that to me.

Anyway, one thing that helped me after a blindsided breakup was to do something really lovely for myself on day that was important in the relationship. His birthday? Took myself out for dinner. Valentine's Day - Rose oil bath. That day when he.... Bought myself some expensive make-up. That kind of thing.

Stay well, get happy. Find out in a couple of years time that his shag still didn't want him and he's now shacked up with someone that makes his every waking moment a misery.

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 13/07/2017 13:35

Congratulations on your move, you've taken a new step into a world of opportunities.

And yes it will come in waves. After being completely shafted by an ex and abused one night i finally ended it, everyone in our friendship circle took his side because he'd built up such a persona.

Not long after, I saw some beautiful deep almost black roses on the way home from work and bought them for myself as a treat to remind me that there is beauty in the world.....

....and I sobbed all the way from Clapham to Crystal Palace on the top of the double decker bus...Blush

But it gets better, it really does. Just give yourself time, be kind to yourself, and stay off the bus. Grin

FlowersFlowersFlowers

MrsMozart · 13/07/2017 16:48

Lovely to read that you've moved and your flat is nice.

The rage and sadness will go lass.

Funko · 13/07/2017 18:16

Delurking to say good luck in your lovely new home and lovey new life Flowers Wine

And I think TheLegendOfBeans missed a key point that crying in food establishments gets you free stuff. So y'know, if you're gonna ... do it somewhere fancy Grin

Tequilamockingbirdturd · 13/07/2017 18:45

I might really heal you like you new pad and your happy there 🌺

You are experiencing grief, it had s habit of hitting you when you least expect it... I agree cry some where swish... maybe a few shoe or handbag shops 🤓.

Still consider some counselling if you think it might help, it helped me no end.

Wishing you lots of love and happiness in your twaticuss free future xx

Tequilamockingbirdturd · 13/07/2017 18:46

I'm really happy you like your new pad that was meant to say

Tequilamockingbirdturd · 13/07/2017 18:48

There's another post "absolutely devastated" might make you feel a but better about your situation 🌺🌺

SallyGinnamon · 13/07/2017 19:14

Fresh new flat, fresh new you!

Black days will be because you're grieving for the future you thought you'd have. But like any grieving it will fade.

Then you can get on with your fab future.

Gemini69 · 13/07/2017 19:37

Wonderful news.... Congratulations xxx

BMW6 · 13/07/2017 22:54

Onwards and upwards marilyn. The grief for the life that you thought you had will take time to heal, and some days will feel like the first. But I promise you, and hold on to it, that one day you will be completely indifferent to him.
Hasten the day!
Flowers

Jg1 · 23/08/2017 15:02

MarilynMonsoon

I've just read both threads and was wondering how you are now? Flowers

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