From Russia With Love (earrings 2)

[MarilynMonsoon]

Can't believe so many of you helped me that I need a new thread!?

No contact tonight, dread tomorrow's return to the flat though

So a mutual friend has seen/chatted briefly with him on his way to work today, apparently he was very sharply dressed, clean shaven and smelled wonderful. So it's the sad sack look how far I've fallen act for me, mr smooth look what you missed out on for her. I feel like such a fool sad

Its another act and far from 'look what you've missed out on' for her. He's humiliated but is trying to show everyone at work otherwise.

If you can get it, highly recommend reading chump lady's book "leave a cheater gain a life". It will help you with responses and explain and reinforce how manipulative cheaters are.

I really wish I'd had it when I found out. Would never have stayed so long trying to reconcile and continuing to be a chump. Changing that now, but wish I'd had that book to kick me up the ass back then.

Staying he smelled wonderful is an odd added extra.

Thinking of you MM. He is a complete arse and you deserve and are worth so much more than how the puny little man has treated you!! Hope youre looking after yourself & good luck in your new home x

Staying he smelled wonderful is an odd added extra

Why?

He is the fool for ever thinking he can treat such a lovely person as you the way he treated you!

Move on, move up and don't look back. Your worth a thousand times better than him!

So pleased you are getting yourself sorted. You deserve better than this prat!

Rhubarb - I just thought it was unnecessary. Was rubbing in how the twat looked.

Lonely by Britney Spears 💪💅👊

"Better off alone and I won't turn back
You thought that I would be lonely
I don't want to let you back in"

how is marilyn???

Rhubarb - I just thought it was unnecessary. Was rubbing in how the twat looked

Yes, I can see that now. It was a bit of a double edged sword

I reckon the smell comment might have come from Marilyn - he looked sharp, M asks how he smelled and response is wonderful with a confused look!

You're doing wonderfully Marilyn, keep on keeping on as they say.

I've been following your story and not yet posted. I think you have handled this with such dignity and strength. Keep going - every day is a day closer to your future happiness.
Be kind to yourself in your lovely new home - buy yourself flowers, fill your evenings with friends, a relationship is difficult to walk away from because it because such a habit really )as in, you're used to sharing your life with them) and you are on your way to breaking the habit... day after day you will created your new routine and new life.
Keep busy and surround yourself with people who care and will lift you up x

Thank you to all who have posted and also given me amazing music recs.

I am moving into my new place Monday, still sofa surfing at the moment. Ex p is back in the flat moving out, he looked much more normal the last time I saw him but we were both just icily polite to each other. I have heard that he has been out with his mates a lot and meeting women in bars, etc...I don't know what to think of that really.

His official line is still that I am infertile and he wants a family, and that I overreacted to a colleague dinner. I could just smash all the windows sometimes but I am learning to cope, I'm lonely but I know it will get better.

(I mean, it does get better right?)

Yes love, it gets easier

His official line is outrageous, but he won't be pulling the wool over many people's eyes with that.

It does.
It so does.
You have moments of air-punching victorious feeling ahead.
You have moments of crippling loneliness ahead.
You will cry a lot of tears: in anger, in frustration and at the lack of justice re the universe not seemingly wanting to bestow as much hurt on your ex as it is on you.
You have moments of looking around the home you have made, the friends that have stuck by you and the laughs you will have and think "yep, I'm doing fine thanks".
And most of all, one day you'll wake up, get on with things and think "cool, I've not thought about him at all today"

The best is yet to come x

Good luck with your move and much happiness in your new home. It does & will get better - so much better than what you've just had to endure

It gets better beyond anything you can imagine at the moment lass.

You have a new and excellent life. Little steps to start with.

As for exP, he's a twat and you're well rid.

ok story time...i was waiting for my lover to come over from america...he never came and cut off all contact. i was distraught. i phoned his mum. he still made no contact. it is a bit like the stages of grief. when i got to the anger stage, i started briefly to fantasise about going to america and killing him!! ok sounds mad and was only a fantasy. the next man i met, i thought was on the rebound. we are still together many years later and he is my soul mate. it will get better.as the song says, one day at a time , sweetjesus ( i amnot religious but the song has strong lyrics).

It will totally get better & you're doing great but you're also grieving for your future as you saw it & you will have wobbles & breakdowns. Allow them & move on

Marilyn

I can categorically 100% guarantee that the day will come when you realise that you are totally indifferent as regards him.

He is a Grade 1 wanker. He doesn't even have the courage to own his actions - that's why he's desperate to minimise his culpability in this.

EVERYONE you know who matters to you will know the truth of it - they may smile and nod with him, but they know the truth.

Every time you feel yourself missing what was, remember the Fuckwittage. It (the anger) will help you to get over the sadness.

Please please believe me - one day you won't give a Fuck! That's the best day of all!

Marilyn I have been following your story from the beginning and like everyone else I am just in awe of your strength, humour and grace. You are going to be FINE. The day will come when you think of your ex with nothing but a vague sense of pity.

Anyway just delurking to share this- the ultimate break up therapy, IMHO. www.martyoutloud.com/frida-kahlo-to-marty-mcconnell/

I have heard that he has been out with his mates a lot and meeting women in bars, etc...I don't know what to think of that really.

You can think that thank God you are no longer shackled to this worthless waste of space, who continues to exploit your fertility issues with lies to save his own yellow hide. I hate him on your behalf OP. I feel sorry for any woman who gets stuck with him.

His official line is still that I am infertile and he wants a family

and he thinks this puts him in a good light?

I overreacted to a colleague dinner

Only an idiot would believe that - even his friends will know it's not true.

it does get better right?

Indeed it does - and quicker than you might think.