Mystery earrings

[MarilynMonsoon]

Not sure where else to get advice for this.

DP works away sometimes, we've not had trust issues before and I'm usually happy to wave him off. He was in a hotel for two night midweek this week and nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise prior to that.

Was going through some of his packing to tidy up/sort laundry - not snooping I have to add, I've never felt he might be doing anything behind my back, but in his wash bag I found a pair of earrings that aren't mine. They are not a gift because I don't have pierced ears.

Since his return he's been affectionate and normal if a bit glued to his phone, but he does a lot of work on it so again not out of the ordinary.

I feel really confused, I've never had a reason not to trust him but I can't shake the sight of those earrings. Returned them to bag but took a pic on my phone. What do I do?

Receipts

I'm sorry - doesn't look good. I'd be putting receipt and earrings out on the side and scrutinising his face when he sees them... then I'd probably punch his lying cheating face in (not helpful sorry)

It doesn't look good. I'm also astounded by the number of women who are convinced their husband wouldn't cheat. Given the opportunity most would.

I'd ask him casually about his evening on Wednesday, then when he hadn't mentioned the expensive dinner, I'd tell him I knew he was lying and wait for an explanation..... and say nothing more...

Then, after he'd blustered around or got angry or whatever, I'd say OK, first, what about the champagne? (making it sound like I might have a long list)....

Then eventually after his psthetic excuse or denial, I'd say, next, tell me about the earrings.....

I wouldn't say how I knew or that I'd seen the earrings and receipt. Big silences are uour friend and he will be desperate to find out what and how you know.

If he appears at all cagey or suspicious ask him to unlock his phone or to leave.

I don't think you can spend days or weeks wondering how to catch him out.

Just ask him outright. You have "evidence" if needed

Do wives generally go through their partners washbag to unpack it? How old is he?

I don't but op did for whatever reason

Are you going to ask him about the earrings?

I would want to look at his phone if I was you .

Random ear rings. Secret meal out that he hasn't told you about?

Sorry OP, it's not looking good.

I would either 1) have it out with him right now, or 2) go through his phone.

If you get it check for the KIK app. White in colour with green 'kik' on it. Used for messaging by cheating bastards

When you think of possible explanations for these earrings, the most obvious one is that he's cheating. Sure, there might be some innocent explanations too, but they are considerably less likely.

Add in the dinner and it makes cheating almost certain.

Really sorry. It sounds like I'm trivialising your life and I don't mean to

I would be tempted to say, "so how long has this affair been going on?" And watch him squirm. I wouldn't tell him what 'evidence' you have, just let him know that you know.

Sorry OP, if there is any way in the world that all this is innocent, I wish that for you.

Can you google the restaurant and see what's it's like? If it's a smaller, more intimate place you could indeed phone and ask if it would be possible to speak to someone who was on shift or on the front desk on Wednesday at whatever time stated on the bill.

It sounds desperate I know, but you could then ask if they remember a man if your H's description and a woman in there who ordered champagne and steak etc at this time. It was only the night before last. Or ask if there was a reservation made in his name and who was he joined by? Even be honest and tell them you need to check up on your husband for your sanity. The worst that can happen is they don't or won't tell you anything and they don't know you from Adam anyway.

I'd bluntly ask how long had the affair been going on and observe his reaction. It doesn't look brilliant though.

I really wouldn't bother speaking with the restaurant

I feel for you OP but I don't necessarily think he has cheated. Someone once said you me, "the only person who has to live with me.......is me". Lots of people cant live with guilt so don't actually DTD. May well have had a meal etc etc but don't jump the gun. Good luck. Try to stay calm and collected, I know it's hard x

You need to have a chat, OP, and make him tell you the truth so you know at least. Do you have DCS? (Sorry if you mentioned it)

How would her earrings end up in his wash bag then?

I agree with other posters and would gather evidence. Wait till next Wednesday, recreate the meal and afterwards place the earrings on the table and ask him if he's enjoyed the meal as much as he did last week! And what happened after the meal, would he like to do it again but with you. Then wait for the excuses!

I couldn't wait until next Weds. I'd explode.
I'd take photos if what evidence already have and ask him. But then again I am living proof it's easy to deceive people. Be thinking of you OP. And just remember it's not you has done anything wrong incase they play the "you're bonkers you, your imagination is in overdrive"

Its not looking good I don't think Op.

The earrings bother me less than the meal. Especially if you say you don't generally have the money for that kind of night out.

Can you ask him about it OP?