Mystery earrings

[MarilynMonsoon]

Not sure where else to get advice for this.

DP works away sometimes, we've not had trust issues before and I'm usually happy to wave him off. He was in a hotel for two night midweek this week and nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise prior to that.

Was going through some of his packing to tidy up/sort laundry - not snooping I have to add, I've never felt he might be doing anything behind my back, but in his wash bag I found a pair of earrings that aren't mine. They are not a gift because I don't have pierced ears.

Since his return he's been affectionate and normal if a bit glued to his phone, but he does a lot of work on it so again not out of the ordinary.

I feel really confused, I've never had a reason not to trust him but I can't shake the sight of those earrings. Returned them to bag but took a pic on my phone. What do I do?

I disagree that the majority of married men cheat though

I would be suspicious too and would snoop for more evidence before confronting. However, it is feasible that he found them in his hotel room's bathroom (and it would make sense to put them in his wash bag).

I think you should just ask him. I wouldn't just assume he was having an affair. He could have just found them in his room and forgot to hand them in.

But would you put someone else's earrings in with your toothbrush? I know I wouldn't.

Yes if it was the only safe place I could think of so I wouldn't lose them.

Nothing in pockets can't check anything else until he's home. I couldn't believe he'd cheat, he was cheated on by his ex and said he could never put anyone else through that.

Maybe he found them in the room, left by previous guest and thought he'd bring them home for you then forgot, it doesn't mean he has cheated.

Most likely he hasn't cheated. There's probably a very innocent explanation if you breezily ask about it. If he looks guilty then you'll know to be suspicious but no point getting worried yet.

I'm sorry but I don't see any other reason other than there being an OW. If you found earrings in a hotel room then surely you would leave them there? I don't think there are always obvious signs of cheating either. Some men will be aware of the obvious signs and will make an effort to do the opposite. For example, I have a friend whose husband confessed that he'd been cheating with one of her friends for 3 years! She had no idea at all and she said that she had access to his phone, that he didn't go out anywhere etc. She divorced him after finding out but he told her that he deleted all messages and that he had an agreement with his OW that he would message her first at agreed times. He also said that he met up with her when he was 'working'
Another friend thought she had the perfect marriage and a lovely attentive husband until the police turned up at her door to arrest her husband for grooming young girls! These friends are both intelligent women and their experiences have taught me that anyone can cheat and be leading a double life with their partner being blissfully unaware.
I hope you get some answers OP.

Who on earth would take worn earrings and give them to their wife?
You should never share earrings.
Cleaners do not pick up earrings and put them in bags.
The figure is around 70% of men admit to having cheated, of course their partners don't know this.
Why on earth would a man pick up used earrings, op you said you cannot wear them, the most rational explanation is that they are not a stranger's earrings.
Your dh would probably deny everything though. That's why posters are advising you to snoop around first.

He went for a cool shower after work and I looked in his wallet. There is a restaurant receipt for Wednesday night for over a hundred pounds.

When do women take their earrings out? When they go to bed.

Sorry but they obviously belong to someone he knows so he can return them.

I can't think of an innocent explanation.

I wouldn't be suspicious at all tbh. I would just assume he had found them.

Even if he found them (unlikely, I never have) why would he take them?

Cross post. Well you better ask him whats going on then.

Because some people, both men and women would take them, I wouldn't, perhaps you wouldn't but maybe he did!

He went for a cool shower after work and I looked in his wallet. There is a restaurant receipt for Wednesday night for over a hundred pounds.

I think you need to ask him what's going on.

I would ask him outright if you leave them out he has time to make up a lie.

Photograph the receipt.

Take a photo of the receipt and try to get a look at his phone. You neec as many facts as possible because he will minimise when you confront him.

Easy to spend £100 on dinner with a colleague tho

Oh god love, sorry. Not looking good. I wouldn't ask, he will deny.

The wash bag is important here.

Where did he say he was on Wed night? Is this when he was away?
Google the restaurant maybe?

But he wasn't with a colleague computer after they'd finished he said he was going back to the hotel on his own