Mystery earrings

[MarilynMonsoon]

Not sure where else to get advice for this.

DP works away sometimes, we've not had trust issues before and I'm usually happy to wave him off. He was in a hotel for two night midweek this week and nothing out of the ordinary behaviour wise prior to that.

Was going through some of his packing to tidy up/sort laundry - not snooping I have to add, I've never felt he might be doing anything behind my back, but in his wash bag I found a pair of earrings that aren't mine. They are not a gift because I don't have pierced ears.

Since his return he's been affectionate and normal if a bit glued to his phone, but he does a lot of work on it so again not out of the ordinary.

I feel really confused, I've never had a reason not to trust him but I can't shake the sight of those earrings. Returned them to bag but took a pic on my phone. What do I do?

Half of Mumsnet in love with you? NO, we all are!

I'd also be using this time to allow the 'abrasive' side of you that he tried to oppress out

And if he insists on moving back in, change the Wi-Fi codename to "myexisaprick"

Hats off to you OP. I've been following this thread and am full of admiration for you.

It sounds like those earrings have liberated you.

You're young, free and single and can go back to being your true self and probably conceive loads of miracle babies with someone whose sperm can swim better than his!

He is literally trying to think of everything and anything he can say to possibly provide reasons for his utterly INSANE behaviour, knowing full well at hte same time that he looks like an absolute swinging bellend, not only to both you and her but also every single one of his friends.

He has never even considered that you are bi.
He does not want children.
He knows you haven't 'let yourself go'
By tomorrow it will be that he was terrified because you did a Ouija board when you were 20 and since then you've shown frequent signs of demonic possession. Or perhaps it will be that you deliberately fart in his face once he'sasleep, every night, and how he has suffered!

It's like a toddler screaming itself into a ball of incoherence because EVERYTHING HAS GONE WRONG AND HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!!!!

Priceless.

Please remember to post a link soon as you'll be over 1000 posts.
You are doing great, wish I'd be as strong in your situation.

My DSis also conceived with endometriosis and a tilted womb.......

Anyway, I have twice dumped fuckwit men (one cheat, one violent) and been accused of being gay.

The "thinking" is, that if you don't want them then of course it must be that you wouldn't want any man........... you geddit now?

Good luck tomorrow.

OP, love you, absolutely love you. What a dick. I've been through similar, wish I'd had your wit. I was too consumed with emotion. But KARMA is inevitable, go you! You will succeed at whatever you do. You rock girl? PS. Relationship with ex MiL is strained, I actually think she knows I am a better person than her son will ever be. He may be be financially secure, and I am not, but in the end, that isn't important. Xxxx

OP you rule!

OP, I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this but I just had to say that I think you are amazing and you've handled the situation brilliantly. The phrase "its his loss" doesn't even begin to cover it!! You're a legend!!

OP this thread is nearly full, please, please, please start a new one! I'd hate to lose you

Just like before, all that stuff about kids and Anne Boleynski had told him not to leave you. He's saying anything he can think of to hurt you and justify his bad decisions. Nothing more than that. He'd accuse you of orbiting Mars in a teapot if he thought it would hurt you. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

I've only read your posts Marilyn as only just seen this.

He is an utter cunt.

You are totally amazing. Onwards and upwards

what do you give the MAN that has lost Everything....

Two Fingers x

Another voice of support here. You are an amazing and funny woman coping with such dignity in a shitty, shitty situation when you must be in so much pain. I am so glad other womanski dumped his stupid arse. I hope he hates watching as she moves on to someone else in the office.

My saddler had a miracle baby 19 years ago, she had endometriosis and a tilted womb too, she turned up last month with a big bump, seems she has had another miracle.

I am full of admiration for how you are handling this. You will be up and down for a while, but one thing I am sure of, you will look back and thank you lucky stars that you found those earings. What a massive bullet you have dodged.

OP, you are doing brilliantly. Keep using MN support, can't believe his mother was such a bitch, I'd send her a print out of his texts or this thread to give her a more balanced view but I'm spiteful like that. Glad you don't have a tangle of divorce & finance to sort out & hope you can move on swiftly with your new & improved life.

He is a total dick to have betrayed you & said the awful things he has. I'm glad you've still got a a great sense of humour & remember that when you inevitably reach the down times. Keep going good!

Please call the new thread Anne Fucking Bolynski

Brilliant outcome

Now she's dumped him, I wonder if he's sending her a load of abuse too?

This is my favourite thread of all time. A vote for classics if ever there was one.

Op I'm so sorry you had to find out what a piece of shit your ex is, and that he went the way he did- calling you 'barren' is the most abhorrent thing I've ever read.
But here's the thing. Whatever happens, if you go on to have kids or not, nothing in your life will feel the same as it does now. Because even though he's been the biggest scumbag on earth (and I hope he gets gangrene and his dick falls off) you see him for exactly what he is now. You know him for the awful human that he is.
If he'd gone about it gently and said I made a mistake I am so sorry I was drunk, it didn't mean anything... you (like many others before, self included) might have said ok, I'll accept it was a mistake, it must never happen again blah blah blah and you'd be lumbered with him.

Because he's been the disgusting specimen that he's been, there's no chance of you changing your mind and taking the rat back. And that my sweet is the best thing to come from this. Your life will never be the same. It will be SO much better.
Please don't leave all your supporters hanging, open a new thread, once this gets to 1000 you can't comment anymore x

I really wish you a fantastic life ahead of you....with lots of love, fun and laughter....put all of this behind you in due course....you are a strong, wise and good person....you will find love in the future and you truly deserve it....great admiration for how you have handled yourself in this awful situation...take good care and look after yourself

Ah brilliant! Made my night! What did I say? Of course she was gunna be challenging, part of the buzz is fucking another woman's man. There is no excitement left for her now.
Wait for the begging texts....this can only get better! Things have advanced and come along so much for the better since the night you found out, you was a drunken upset wreck. My my, how the tables have turned! I bet you feel so good too

Fantastic turn up for the books!

Wow OP....just read the whole thread from start to finish, you're incredible, you really are...just a thought, if he does eventually have kids and he has a daughter I take it he would be perfectly happy for a husband/boyfriend to treat her like shit aswell? This nasty piece of work has done you a massive favour, you're still young and well rid of it...Good luck!