In our 30s, he hasn't made a move, sexually frustrated lol

[Dipsy86]

Been going out with my new boyfriend for over 6 weeks. We have seen each other basically every second day since we met! (we knew each other before, he isn't a stranger, known him since we were teens). We have been on about 3 "proper" dates per week, then coffees and lots of walks in between these dates. So we have seen each other A LOT!!

We definitely have that spark, he constantly tells me how attracted he is to me. He is always holding my hands, stares into my eyes and tells me how amazing I am etc. IT is really lovely. We have kissed a lot too. He is 33, I am 31. But I am now getting extreme sexual frustration lol to the point where it is starting to bug me. There has been ample opportunity for him to "try it on" and he hasn't. He has been at my house multiple times and i often think "this will be the night" lol and it doesn't happen. Instead he will just keep kissing me. He isn't a virgin, has had previous girlfriends, even one night stands (even I haven't had a one night stand lol).

I mentioned it last week and he said "oh we have plenty time to be doing that and get to know each others bodies etc, I don't want to ruin this and am enjoying taking this slow". I then said "you won't ruin it". I am past that stage now lol, I know we are both in this for a relationship. But I am literally at the stage where I can't take it anymore and it is actually awkward now as I am like just make a move on me after 15 minutes of solid kissing.

I mentioned it to some of my friends and each of them said they thought it was really odd, how much we have seen each other and no sexual moves have been made. I do not feel confident enough to make a move on him sexually as in my experience it is usually the guy that would initiate this first. I have laid plenty hints now and he knows how I feel.

He even told me he had even been to the gum clinic last week. He said "I want to start this relationship properly". Which is really sweet and I totally respect it. However, naturally I want to rip his clothes off lol.

What are your honest thoughts on this?

Apples and oranges though sparkling.

A woman needs to know if there's chemistry. The guy isnt fighting op off.
OP isnt pressuring her bf.
She is just wondering if he fancies her or whaaat

I was seeing a guy who was exactly like that. We were on and off for years as 'friends' nothing happened until I didn't actually care that much for him romantically anymore. His penis size was average and there wasn't anything wrong with him. I think he was just shy. He's in a long term relationship now so I'm assuming he got over it eventually. He was in his late 20's at the time. It really put me off him as I thought he was just messing me around but I kept going back as I waned what I couldn't get.

Has there been no wandering hands form either of you? I don't think I could snog for ages and not touch anywhere else cough the groin.....Or a bit of grinding!

Next time you are snogging move your hand down slowly and atleast judge. He might have a micro penis OR he might just really really respect you and is being truthful in his approach.

My mum always said to me, if you like someone , wait atleast 6 weeks before getting naked, but she didn't mean you couldn't explore a little ;)

Does he get hard when you are kissing

Have you put your hand on his penis outside the pants? Has he moved your hand away?

Fucking hell, some of you need to have a think about what you're saying. There's some absolutely awful stuff being suggested here.

Let's imagine the following had been said about a woman who was 6 weeks into a new relationship and had been very clear in telling the boyfriend that she wanted to take things slowly and not have sex yet.

Jump her

Have you seen evidence of the size of her breasts/vulva/tightness of her vagina?

Have you tried just taking your clothes off?

Tell her straight, this is a big deal for you and is making you question your relationship. (Even if it's not)

Actually I probably would walk in naked and literally say you wanna fuck or what, if she still stands there like a lemon, then I'de dump.

Can't you kiss, while doing that undo her trousers

Some of these are actually sickening.

SparklingRaspberry - it's clearly humor we are having here! Of course I wouldn't go ahead and practically rape the man.

Maybe he is just a true gent, perhaps he REALLY likes you and has respect for you. If this irritates you so much you should dump him as it seems you are clearly not the one for him. How I wish some of the men I dated were like that, instead of just wanting a quick bonk all the time.

Dipsy I'm not reading it all as jokes. I know people think they are being so hilarious with it, but PPs are suggesting that you undo his trousers/get naked/try and emotionally manipulate him.

It's sickening to say 'jump him'?

In a relationship?

Do you never jump your OH? Or get jumped back?

I like getting jumped...

If I don't fancy it, I expect OH to jump straight off, of course.

What's wrong with undoing someone's trousers when you're in a relationship?

MumBod yes it is when that person has told you very clearly that they are not ready to have sex.

Ratatouille - I understand you are offended by this. I am obviously taking the joke replies with a pinch of salt and would never act upon it.

I purely came on here for advice on a situation I have never had experience with and am feeling very lost with. This does not mean I will now go out and strip naked and humiliate him or myself.

Ratatouille - he hasn't said to me "I am not ready for sex", he actually talks about sex a lot. Which is why the whole situation is rather infuriating.

I missed the bit where he said he wasn't ready for sex.

Dame when you haven't had sex yet and they've told you they are not ready? You need to Google consent some of you. Being in a relationship with someone doesn't give you the right to their body. He has clearly said he doesn't want to have sex yet.

oh we have plenty time to be doing that and get to know each others bodies etc, I don't want to ruin this and am enjoying taking this slow

I'm not having a pop at you Dipsy. It's some of the suggestions from other posters that have made me

He hasn't said he's not ready for sex.

Have you asked him to stay over? Offer to cook a nice meal and take it from there. I wouldn't expect a man to make the first move in the 21st century. Perhaps he is waiting for you to do something - consent and all that.

I think some of the comments above are gross. Plenty of people wait. If it was a bloke who had posted would we all be saying sit on her lap, knell down on him, come down naked with a tiny towel on - no we wouldn't because that would be wrong.

For goodness sake
We are adults. When you're dating and kissing another adult and you're alone, it's perfectly normal to move close to each other, to run your hands down their chest, to touch each other's bum etc. It's pretty easy to move from kissing to more than kissing and it's pretty unusual to have 6 weeks of kissing without anything else.
I find it quite hard to imagine how you don't end up touching each other after kissing for a bit and it really doesn't mean either party is being pushy or abusive.

MrsPeelyWaly yes,quite!

I think you just need to sit down with him and tell him you want to talk about your relationship. Tell him you're ready to move on to the next stage, getting physical. Is he? If not, why not? Is he waiting for a committed relationship? Until you've both agreed you're not seeing other people? Until he's feeling like the relationship is going somewhere?

Or he might indeed have something to hide. Who knows?! But talking to him about it specifically is the only thing you can reasonably do.

It's what most people would advise a man to do if they wanted to move on to a sexual relationship with someone; I don't see why the advice should be any different for a woman who is interested in moving forward that way. And many people would be outraged if a man was pressuring a woman into having sex before seh was ready ... so talking, not pressure.

Its not normal op!!

Here is my take on what you have written.
He's playing power and control games, hot for you one minute, cold the next. He's love bombing you. He's testing the hold he has over you, teasing you for his entertainment, reeling you in under his spell. Once you are hooked on him because you have DTD and have sexy bonding love hormones coursing through your veins, he will manipulate you

If you want to risk it and continue with the relationship for now please be aware of narcissistic abuse for further warning signs, although you will find it difficult to spot them once you are head over heels. Boasting about the size of his penis fits with this type of personality. He has a huge ego to satisfy and he's chosen you to do that for him. I predict porn addiction, cheating, using women for his own ends.

I recommend running for the hills. Remember the saying that goes "If it seems too good to be true it probably is"?

The talking about sex a lot but only kissing for six weeks raises huge red flags for me.