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Original poster

In our 30s, he hasn't made a move, sexually frustrated lol

525 replies

Dipsy86 · 14/06/2017 14:10

Been going out with my new boyfriend for over 6 weeks. We have seen each other basically every second day since we met! (we knew each other before, he isn't a stranger, known him since we were teens). We have been on about 3 "proper" dates per week, then coffees and lots of walks in between these dates. So we have seen each other A LOT!!

We definitely have that spark, he constantly tells me how attracted he is to me. He is always holding my hands, stares into my eyes and tells me how amazing I am etc. IT is really lovely. We have kissed a lot too. He is 33, I am 31. But I am now getting extreme sexual frustration lol to the point where it is starting to bug me. There has been ample opportunity for him to "try it on" and he hasn't. He has been at my house multiple times and i often think "this will be the night" lol and it doesn't happen. Instead he will just keep kissing me. He isn't a virgin, has had previous girlfriends, even one night stands (even I haven't had a one night stand lol).

I mentioned it last week and he said "oh we have plenty time to be doing that and get to know each others bodies etc, I don't want to ruin this and am enjoying taking this slow". I then said "you won't ruin it". I am past that stage now lol, I know we are both in this for a relationship. But I am literally at the stage where I can't take it anymore and it is actually awkward now as I am like just make a move on me after 15 minutes of solid kissing.

I mentioned it to some of my friends and each of them said they thought it was really odd, how much we have seen each other and no sexual moves have been made. I do not feel confident enough to make a move on him sexually as in my experience it is usually the guy that would initiate this first. I have laid plenty hints now and he knows how I feel.

He even told me he had even been to the gum clinic last week. He said "I want to start this relationship properly". Which is really sweet and I totally respect it. However, naturally I want to rip his clothes off lol.

What are your honest thoughts on this?

OP posts:
keepingonrunning · 18/06/2017 23:12

user1471545174 Precisely Wink

daisychain01 · 19/06/2017 02:40

Then he said "you're such a beautiful person inside and out and I'll always be here for you".

This is akin to "can we just be friends".

Even if he did want to 'wait and see' before taking things further, it's well and truly off the boil. Once that happens, best to call it quits.

RogueBiscuit · 19/06/2017 02:50

I'd dump him just for the big cock comments and the childish kissing in public.

MyOtherProfile · 19/06/2017 08:12

Have you heard from him since you declined coffee and went home?

PollyPerky · 19/06/2017 08:13

scotchpie If you had read the entire thread you'd see that I suggested he was lying.

I also said all the stuff that fizzygreenwater said, as have others, many pages back.

It's easy enough to say 'Ask him why he's behaving like this' but the fact is he will and has probably lied already about his sexual experience / history.

I think what everyone has pretty much agreed on is the OP should have one final conversation with him to express her concerns the end it.

Unfortunately she seems quite passive in this 'relationship' (I'd not call 6 weeks of dating a relationship anyway) and wants to avoid bringing it to a head.

keepingonrunning · 19/06/2017 09:01

scotchpie Wine

Shellsandstones1 · 19/06/2017 16:25

Update please!

ohhnohedidnt · 19/06/2017 19:41

Any developments or word from him op?

Original poster
Dipsy86 · 19/06/2017 21:44

Hiya everyone. Sorry for the delay, had a hectic day today.
He wasnt dumping me when he said the "I'll always be here for you" btw.
On top of that I have always considered myself a good communicator, but with him it is very difficult to ask him questions sometimes as he just ducks and dives. I basically sent him a message half an hour ago the length of my arm. He has practically been begging to see me the past two days and I went off the radar a bit.

The message pretty much says lets be friends because that's all we seem to be anyway. I also asked him very frankly why he hasn't made a move. Hopefully I won't get some vague ass answers back.

Anyway he hasn't read it yet, but when he does I will keep you all posted.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dipsy86 · 19/06/2017 21:46

@elspethflashman you put it splendidly. It's become a piece of work now and absolutely no fun.

OP posts:
wobblywonderwoman · 19/06/2017 21:47

If he gives you vague answers op, back off. I wonder is he hiding an std and when he brought up testing, he was sussing out your body language/how you'd react? Hard to know.

Original poster
Dipsy86 · 19/06/2017 21:50

@DHlawrence85 I am in absolute stitches at the poll. I wish we could do that to see the general consensus.

@fizzygreenwater you're so right! The hard work just isn't worth it anymore and its beyond cringe now

OP posts:
Original poster
Dipsy86 · 19/06/2017 21:51

@wobblywonderwoman he said to me oh it was fantastic getting the news that everything was negative and im clean. Very odd

OP posts:
BengalGal · 19/06/2017 21:55

Good for you. Hopefully you will get some clarity.

NassauBeach · 19/06/2017 22:03

Did you message him on FB Dipsy? Normally I'd think you should have this type of conversation in person but I think you've done the right thing here as this way there is a greater chance that he will have to give you an actual answer without all the usual nonsense and evasiveness... well done !

Original poster
Dipsy86 · 19/06/2017 22:22

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

Okay, he said he didn't see my message coming and was quite shocked by it Shock.

He then said the times I've been at your place with you I have felt so so nervous. I am totally attracted to you etc but I just wimp it.
I then said well why not text me this and tell me if you cant say it to my face? When ive hinted multiple times i.m ready to move to the next stage. His response "I dont know".

I give up. I've pretty much said to him look lets just be friends.

OP posts:
MoreProseccoNow · 19/06/2017 22:24

Oh dear, he sounds a bit inadequate all round.

ThanksMsMay · 19/06/2017 22:29

Op do you think there's a possibility he's been in love with you for all these years and completely bottling it in person because of the pressure?

ThanksMsMay · 19/06/2017 22:30

Not pressure from you I mean pressure from in the sense he's been building it up in his head?

ThisIsTheRightTime · 19/06/2017 22:32

How are you feeling now Dipsy86?

AdalindSchade · 19/06/2017 22:35

That just doesn't square with his blather about having a big dick and a high sex drive!

NassauBeach · 19/06/2017 22:38

Agree with pp- I call bullshit

Original poster
Dipsy86 · 19/06/2017 22:41

@Adalindshade tell me about it. Baffling, confusing, weird.

@Thanksmsmay I have no idea if that's what's going on. But one thing I do know, I can't be bothered with it any longer haha!

I don't want anyone getting offended here. I have an autistic nephew. The more I think about it I think my bf/friend/whatever he is, is possibly autistic?

OP posts:
HildaOg · 19/06/2017 22:43

I feel sorry for him. Whatever the reason he seems very immature and incapable of expressing himself. It must be hard for him.

Grannyben · 19/06/2017 22:43

Dear God, I've just read 20 pages and he thinks it's acceptable to say "I don't know". Enough is enough (although in his case enough is clearly too much)

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