In our 30s, he hasn't made a move, sexually frustrated lol

[Dipsy86]

Been going out with my new boyfriend for over 6 weeks. We have seen each other basically every second day since we met! (we knew each other before, he isn't a stranger, known him since we were teens). We have been on about 3 "proper" dates per week, then coffees and lots of walks in between these dates. So we have seen each other A LOT!!

We definitely have that spark, he constantly tells me how attracted he is to me. He is always holding my hands, stares into my eyes and tells me how amazing I am etc. IT is really lovely. We have kissed a lot too. He is 33, I am 31. But I am now getting extreme sexual frustration lol to the point where it is starting to bug me. There has been ample opportunity for him to "try it on" and he hasn't. He has been at my house multiple times and i often think "this will be the night" lol and it doesn't happen. Instead he will just keep kissing me. He isn't a virgin, has had previous girlfriends, even one night stands (even I haven't had a one night stand lol).

I mentioned it last week and he said "oh we have plenty time to be doing that and get to know each others bodies etc, I don't want to ruin this and am enjoying taking this slow". I then said "you won't ruin it". I am past that stage now lol, I know we are both in this for a relationship. But I am literally at the stage where I can't take it anymore and it is actually awkward now as I am like just make a move on me after 15 minutes of solid kissing.

I mentioned it to some of my friends and each of them said they thought it was really odd, how much we have seen each other and no sexual moves have been made. I do not feel confident enough to make a move on him sexually as in my experience it is usually the guy that would initiate this first. I have laid plenty hints now and he knows how I feel.

He even told me he had even been to the gum clinic last week. He said "I want to start this relationship properly". Which is really sweet and I totally respect it. However, naturally I want to rip his clothes off lol.

What are your honest thoughts on this?

I think he probably has a low sex drive, too. I also think he panicked, thinking he might have caught something previously.

Would someone with a low sex drive be up for all the kissing though?

I wondered about the sti clinic thing too

I had this with someone for 6 months. 6 months! He was attractive, confident, loved kissing but it always felt... friendly and not sexual if you know what I mean. Personally, I like a man to be so turned on by me he can't wait to get me into bed.

My Mr Kiss no sex is still single and living with his parents at 47.

It sounds as if he may be trying to reel you in to having feelings for him so that by the time you find out that he's shit in bed, you'll feel guilty for dumping him.

I think he's game playing. It's a classic tactic to make you virtually gagging for it.

hahaha alltalknobaby LOL!!!!!!!!

I am glad I am not the only one confused by this. My friends are stumped as am I.

Maybe it's me? maybe he isn't sexually attracted to me.

He actually said to me he isn't very good at reading people, but I think seriously we have kissed so much now, why can't we go to the next stage.
I suppose I can make a move and see what happens. If he rejects me at that point then I will have to call it a day.

Riseandgrind wow!!!!! This is the situation I am dreading a bit.

If there is chemistry...... then small penis or waiting for herpes attackto go away.

Don't get naked and walk into the room. I tried the naked approach once and I was rebuffed. Talk about embarrassing and humiliated. Plus he dumped me soon after, all we ever did was kiss passionately.
I was in my late teens and like a bitch on heat, it was excruciating.

I can't believe people are suggesting getting naked or worse, dropping to your knees.

He has said no sex.

No means no, remember?

Just TALK to him

You say you haven't made a move, but asking to see his cock is fairly explicit, it's not like he can still be wondering if you're up for it!

I think something is up but no idea what - have never run into this problem!

SPenfj - oh god nooooo

Toldmywrath - that sounds awful, definitely not doing the naked thing

AngelaTwerkel - I hear you! I definitely think something is up but I have no idea how to approach the subject now. It is like the big (or small) elephant in the room! :(

Hmm my suspicion is erectile probs or micro penis, didn't feel good typing that either sorry op

My first thought too. I'll join you in hell

Just talk to him - all these suggestions of getting naked, demanding he gets his penis out or whatever, while vaguely amusing online, will go down like a lead balloon in real life.

Maybe he's nervous, maybe he doesn't have a high sex-drive, maybe he has erectile problems or a micro-penis or maybe he's just not that into you. You'll never know unless you ask.

My gut feeling is that he wants to wait until you've fallen in love with him then he's going to drop a bombshell such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, micro penis, a sexual hangup, some sort of disfigurement, an STI, or he's asexual. That way you're less like to run because you've become emotionally involved. If it were me I'd have legged it weeks ago I'd have an honest conversation with him and try and get to the bottom of why he isn't taking things further because as far as you're concerned you're going off the boil, so you certainly don't have "plenty of time".

Why hasn't he stayed over yet? Is he deliberately avoiding that?

Whataloadofbollocks - I completely agree!! I think I will have this talk with him tonight and ask him - what's next? He asked me to be official etc and is constantly saying how attracted to me he is! However, this confuses me as this usually goes hand in hand with moving to the next step.

Thanks everyone for your responses. It has really helped. (and made me laugh a lot). Praying that it isn't a micro.

Bestseller2017 - his excuse at the moment is working early, and cannot leave his puppy! (i know it sounds pathetic, but he does have a puppy I have seen it in the flesh).

I'm voting for little or no sex drive. Kissing can be fairly mechanical, easy to do to put someone off.

The fact that he hasn't even felt you up rings alarm bells for me. He should at least have felt your quivering mounds over your angora jumper by now.

Surely his mum can look after the puppy for a night. And there's no work on the weekend. That sounds odd in itself that he doesn't want to spend the night with you.

I had one of these too. ED.

I can't help but think if this was the other way round you women would be outraged!

Imagine if a guy came on here saying "I've met this woman who I'm falling for. It's been 6 weeks now but she won't put out. I'm getting bored of the dates because of it and I'm thinking of dumping her if she doesn't have sex with me as it's just frustrating".

He'd be flamed!

OP, I mean this kindly. You're a grown woman, it's not up to him to always make the move. Either speak to him and tell him you'd like to take things further or you make the first move.

Either way, if he's not ready to have sex for whatever reason then you need to respect that. Men are always told to respect a woman's choice if she isn't ready therefore so should we.

If he still doesn't want to have sex then decide whether or not you wish to continue it.

If you don't want to outright jump him or ask him what's going on? Next time your texting arranging a date, maybe suggests he stays the night at yours after? Makes it pretty clear and if he says no you ask him why

He keeps making jokes about how big his penis is

Is dump him purely for that. How cringey. How old is he, 17?