In our 30s, he hasn't made a move, sexually frustrated lol

[Dipsy86]

Been going out with my new boyfriend for over 6 weeks. We have seen each other basically every second day since we met! (we knew each other before, he isn't a stranger, known him since we were teens). We have been on about 3 "proper" dates per week, then coffees and lots of walks in between these dates. So we have seen each other A LOT!!

We definitely have that spark, he constantly tells me how attracted he is to me. He is always holding my hands, stares into my eyes and tells me how amazing I am etc. IT is really lovely. We have kissed a lot too. He is 33, I am 31. But I am now getting extreme sexual frustration lol to the point where it is starting to bug me. There has been ample opportunity for him to "try it on" and he hasn't. He has been at my house multiple times and i often think "this will be the night" lol and it doesn't happen. Instead he will just keep kissing me. He isn't a virgin, has had previous girlfriends, even one night stands (even I haven't had a one night stand lol).

I mentioned it last week and he said "oh we have plenty time to be doing that and get to know each others bodies etc, I don't want to ruin this and am enjoying taking this slow". I then said "you won't ruin it". I am past that stage now lol, I know we are both in this for a relationship. But I am literally at the stage where I can't take it anymore and it is actually awkward now as I am like just make a move on me after 15 minutes of solid kissing.

I mentioned it to some of my friends and each of them said they thought it was really odd, how much we have seen each other and no sexual moves have been made. I do not feel confident enough to make a move on him sexually as in my experience it is usually the guy that would initiate this first. I have laid plenty hints now and he knows how I feel.

He even told me he had even been to the gum clinic last week. He said "I want to start this relationship properly". Which is really sweet and I totally respect it. However, naturally I want to rip his clothes off lol.

What are your honest thoughts on this?

On MN these days people just look for reasons to start a fight.

UPDATE: he asked if we can do something tonight. I asked like what?? He said cinema, go for a walk, go for food, or a drink. All of the same 4 things we KEEP doing.

I think I will meet him tonight and just be honest that things aren't progressing and that we are basically like friends who just kiss.

Also, he was giving me all the "stunning day outside but not as stunning as you" etc. Which i just find weird now.

OP, I hope you can get some sort of resolution but if you don't then I think you'd be reasonable to end things. Life is too short..,

Good luck. I'd be tempted just to text back and say 'I'm ready to take this a step further now,are you?' and see what his reaction is.

Hmm no I wouldn't enter into this by text. It's not very sexy for a start, almost as if the issue has gone beyond desire and is now a mission.

See how tonight goes OP and I really hope you have a lovely night and at the very least move closer to either finding out what the issue is, or relegating him to friend.

OP I'm glad you don't think NPD is a factor here.
Polly Have you considered that, as you wrote, "NPD is actually quite rare" precisely because, as I wrote, "Almost all people with NPD will NEVER EVER enter the consulting room of a psychologist or psychiatrist" and thus are not diagnosed?
These academics would also appear to disagree with you.

I think it's time to be blunt tbh, wrt 'not very sexy' neither is just kissing for 6 weeks and listening to him bang on about his cock!

I salute you if you are still feeling horny after all this angst.

@keeponrunning I definitely am not anymore. I think I'd rather have a ONS instead now and that is totally out of character for me

I don't blame you, subtlety needs to go right out of the window

happened to me he was gay but trying not tobe Broke my heart 😓

Has anyone mentioned that he may have an sti that takes that amount of time to show up?

Good luck for tonight op.

I had a boyfriend like this.

Didn't end with a brilliant shag.

keeping You seem to be the expert on NPD. Wonder why that is?
Can't be bothered to argue with you.

"These academics' LOl- 2 authors who we've never even heard of. Yes, truly good evidence- you've had a quick look online to find a book to support your theory.

Oh gosh everyone stop fighting! Id hate to think people are getting stressed over MY problem.

user1471545174, Lottie, BengalGal
Just wondering if you're thinking what I'm thinking

Don't worry Dipsy - it happens on every thread

Dump him tonight. He's weird.

I've had a think - I wonder if he's into being a "sub" and therefore wants to be dominated and have you make all the moves?

He's gay and using you as a cover

Can you not just take the lead and make a move on him and see what happens. If he still doesn't want to do anything more then there must be an issue so I would ask him outright. Good luck tonight.

I wonder if he's a real mummy's boy & won't shag you until he has mummy's seal of approval?