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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Does anyone feel lonely today?

212 replies

sugarlost · 10/06/2017 19:54

I was listening to some music and a few tears dropped. Sometimes the weekend evenings are the hardest...I had company in the day and I enjoy my own company but we all have our moments I guess...

X

OP posts:
whatsmyname2017 · 23/06/2017 10:59

Lovemusic33 I hope your date goes well! Good on you for making yourself go when you don't feel like it. I think we all have to push ourselves out of our comfort zones or we would just shrivel up at home.

earthangel797 · 23/06/2017 12:56

Good luck with the date, you are right we have to push ourselves to go even if sometimes we are not feeling it as you never know it might just be the right one. Fingers crossed for you, let us know how it goes.

Whatsmyname2017 · 23/06/2017 13:06

Don't know about anyone else but sometimes having friends who don't seem bothered is worse than not having any at all! I only really have 2 good friends where I live (I moved to be with ex) and 1 is single. She has been supportive during my separation and she knows I'm struggling with weekends at the moment but she never asks me what I'm up to, or invites me to anything. I told her today to get in touch over the weekend if she was around but she told me had loads on, was out with a friend for drinks tomorrow night then they were going to the cinema Sunday night. No invite. Makes me feel a bit shit really.

MrHussain · 23/06/2017 13:17

You've got to stop feeling sorry for yourselves, there is so much to do and see. Get negative thoughts out of your head. A negative mind will never give you a positive life.

AguacateMaduro · 23/06/2017 13:20

So reductionist mrhussain Confused

Many of us have responsibilities to dc and are curtailed at home in that way.
We can be living full liv3s and still experience moments of loneliness

MrHussain · 23/06/2017 13:25

@AguacateMaduro I understand that, that's why im saying its important not to fell sorry for yourselves. There is a difference between feeling sorry for yourself and being lonely.

Lovemusic33 · 23/06/2017 14:10

Back from my date, it went ok, he is just as atractive in rl as in his photos, maybe a bit too intelligent for me (some of the stuff he was saying went over my head), he wants to meet again, he gave me a kiss goodbye and has messaged me several times since. He seems to have a busy life, a good job which means he works away a lot so I'm not sure if anything will happen between us but I have agreed to meet again.

Now to try and plan what I'm going to do for 3 days (off work), I have made plans for the following week to go to IKEA with a friend, I knew she would agree to come as she doesn't drive so hardly gets to go.

I agree that you need to ask people and not wait for them to contact you, I can go months without seeing anyone and then feel sorry for myself but then if I don't message them how do they know that I'm free to meet up? So bit the bullet and messaged.

Whatsmyname2017 · 23/06/2017 14:32

Lovemusic33 so glad it went well. It sounds like he is keen so that must be a boost! Even if nothing happens, you've got yourself out there.

get negative thoughts out of your head < if it was that simple.......

AguacateMaduro · 23/06/2017 14:52

I think we all know that mrhussain.

I think as a longterm single person im better at dealing with the ups and down of life/work/love/responsibilities/socialising.
I feel that single people's life skills are tested much more than married/couple-up people's.
So reprimanding single people for living on the outskirts of a couple centric world is unfair.

FreeNiki · 23/06/2017 15:30

I made a new friend today which was nice. Pretty random too.

earthangel797 · 23/06/2017 17:55

lovemusic so pleased you had a good date and a nice kiss. It's a good sign that he wants to meet again and he let you know very early on.

whatsmyname it is rubbish that your friend knows you don't have plans this weekend and she hasn't invited you to join her drinks or cinema outing. I've been there and you feel that you can't just invite yourself along although you want to. People can be really insensitive sometimes!

freeniki how did you meet your new friend?

FreeNiki · 23/06/2017 19:22

Playing pokemongo. Putting a pokemon in a gym and she said are you the owner of the Gyarados!

whatsmyname2017 · 23/06/2017 19:59

earthangel797 I feel ok about it actually. She can be selfish at times and others have said this too. I just have to accept that some people are less thoughtful than others. I can't rely on other people so am concentrating on me and the kids.

FreeNiki you can meet friends in the unlikeliest of places!

FloatingAdrift · 24/06/2017 09:11

Very very lonely indeed.

And my entire life/relationship history reads like a never ending car crash too.

There are many days where I don't know if I'm going to make it. I'm so alone.

user1490465531 · 24/06/2017 10:31

got plans this weekend so not to bad.
I think the key is to have plans so you don't sit around bored wondering what to do.

Original poster
sugarlost · 24/06/2017 14:20

floating do you have anyone you can talk to for your support? I have days where I feel really down but I keep going. Remember your not alone and there is support out there x

love good news about your date!

freen nice you made a friend

Regarding posts about friends...many of my established ones have other priorities so I try and not ler it affect me any more...it's part of life and can be hard. I also found I was running around after some helping them but stopped giving my time in that way. They have partners, families and other friends. I need to look after me.

Hope your all having a good day

OP posts:
Original poster
sugarlost · 24/06/2017 14:35

User I agree with having plans can help and they can force you to go out which can be a good thing.

OP posts:
winecakeandchoc · 24/06/2017 15:59

I'm feeling extra lonely today! My son is with his dad this weekend. Funny because i was looking forward to some time to do things and when its come to it i feel so lonely and just want my boy back. Doesnt help my parents are being idiots and told me not to make plans to help them with my house this weekend, so i didnt. And now they have let me down!

FreeNiki · 24/06/2017 16:21

I slept in badly. Cycled. Yoga. Now see film and take a coffee in. A nice long one so I cant stay out later.

Jesus life was meant to be so much more than killing time.

user1490465531 · 24/06/2017 16:37

that's how I feel Niki like wishing time away which is not how you want to live life.
I have a plan that if I'm still single in 10 years time I'll sell up and open an animal sanctuary abroad.
At least it will keep me busy and give me a purpose and my daughter will be old enough to decide to come with me or stay here.
Well we can dream can't we.

whatsmyname2017 · 24/06/2017 18:48

I've had an OK day today for the first time in weeks. I've had the kids all day and been running around doing different things so been really busy. Sundays are usually my bad day for some reason. Ex was supposed to have the kids in the afternoon and evening but he has had to cancel which has upset my plans. I'm now just not thinking about tomorrow and will deal with it when it comes.
I've just joined one of those Meetup groups so hope to go along to one of their events soon. I've decided I really do need to try and meet new friends so am going to force myself to get out to things I would normally dread!
winecakeandchoc it is so annoying when people let you down. When you feel lonely and rely on having plans, this is way worse when it happens.

Original poster
sugarlost · 24/06/2017 19:53

Its not nice being let down wine especially when you feel lonely.

I'm glad I've started to feel a bit confident to go to the cinema and try other things in the future by myself but I will still feel lonely on the inside.

What film did you watch freeniki? Do you have a membership card?
Cycling and yoga sounds good too! I agree that life was meant to be more than killing time....

I like your plan/dream user Smile..dreams can come true!

Good you had an ok day whats and you've joined a meet up and your outlook regarding pushing yourself.
Regarding Sunday...yes sometimes it's best to deal with the day when it's here instead of worrying.

I went to bed early yesterday...may do the same tonight. Will have a drink firstWine. I hope we have some sunshine...it helps my mood.
Today has been ok...nothing exciting but ok.

OP posts:
FreeNiki · 24/06/2017 22:02

I saw Transformers The Last Night.

It was too long and a non sensical plot but it was over 2.5 hours and the trailers made it 3 hours so long time to be occupied.

I have a membership card as I couldn't afford all these films without it.

This film alone was £14. But my monthly membership is £17.99 to gonas often as you like.

Cycling was nice. Beautiful sunset. Just sad not to go and get a drink with someone and watch the sunset.

Original poster
sugarlost · 25/06/2017 14:58

Shame about the movie. I think I will have to start going more regularly again. Membership deal is good!

I love a beautiful sunset too...it's moments like that which are nice to share.

I was reading online about an TV actress and her family and a blogger and her partner...it's hard not feeling like your missing out. Someone also got married at work and another colleague is getting married soon and another colleague is getting married too. It's like their part of a separate happy world that you may never gain entry into but your just looking in from the outside.

I'm not up to much today but it's nice to rest sometimes.

OP posts:
whatsmyname2017 · 01/07/2017 16:03

How is everyone's weekend going so far? I'm not feeling too bad this weekend although have spent this afternoon on my own and probably this evening too. Actually not too bothered this time as I went out for my first run in months and feel knackered.
I do miss those days (many moons ago), before kids, when I was out every night doing different things. I had such a large circle of friends and was never home. Nothing stays the same though.