Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Does anyone feel lonely today?

212 replies

sugarlost · 10/06/2017 19:54

I was listening to some music and a few tears dropped. Sometimes the weekend evenings are the hardest...I had company in the day and I enjoy my own company but we all have our moments I guess...

X

OP posts:
misscph1973 · 12/06/2017 17:27

FreeNiki, if you mean flatmates, then they are only strangers in the beginning.

blackteasplease · 12/06/2017 17:31

I do too OP. Very lonely and sad.

FreeNiki · 12/06/2017 18:55

misscph flat mates dont all get along all the time.

It can be hard to be in a flat share.

FreeNiki · 12/06/2017 18:55

Spent the day pretty much alone.

whatsmyname2017 · 12/06/2017 19:42

FreeNiki whats your story? Are you separated? Do you have DC? I've been OK today because its a weekday and although its my day off, I have 2 kids to sort out and drop off/pick up and general running around.
I'll be at work Tuesday to Friday which is always busy and this will mean I feel fine. I have good mates at work and we have a laugh.
Its just the weekends I'm struggling with.
Not sure why I feel the need to have plans all the time. Its like I panic at the thought.

FreeNiki · 12/06/2017 20:38

Never married, no children, major relationship ended in cheating (he cheated) and after that a load of using fuckwits and ghosters.

Made redundant too so not even work to occupy me.

FreeNiki · 12/06/2017 20:39

The thought of spending the rest of my life alone is scary.

Want2beme · 12/06/2017 20:40

Took people I know to airport first thing, off on their hols to the sun. Spent rest of the day on my own working from home. Now on my own this evening, watching the box.

whatsmyname2017 · 12/06/2017 20:54

FreeNiki so sorry to hear that. It makes you wonder if there are actually any decent men out there. Hang on, yes there are, but they are all taken!!! It can become disheartening when you are let down so many times, makes you feel like giving up. I hope you find work again soon as this obviously helps fill time and meet new people.

FreeNiki · 12/06/2017 21:08

It's true whatsmyname. Men are disappointing in the extreme.

I just want my old life back when I was happy.

I feel as if it is far too late to get in place what I should already have.

whatsmyname2017 · 12/06/2017 22:07

FreeNiki - its never too late and I'm sure deep down you know that. It probably just feels like that right now. I have no faith in men anymore. I've had 2 shit long term relationships now so have no faith in finding someone lovely but never say never.
Maybe accepting we don't actually need one might help!! My friend (twice divorced) has been single for a few years now and has no interest in meeting anyone. Maybe that is the way to go.....

user1496682959 · 12/06/2017 22:16

Evening all hope everyone is ok, and remaining strong....

Had a bit of an odd day really, a real mix of emotions, BF messaged after three days, but still not convinced of his intentions, I did respond but nothing at all...he appears to have dropped off the face of the earth yet again.....I feel like my head is really being messed with...and that my kindness is being abused ....but I cant help how I feel....Part of me feels that I should put myself back on the dating sites which is where we first made contact, but I feel totally unlovable at the moment, I am eating for England and I am already a big girl !!!

Anyway I hope you have all got through today without any major stresses, and hang on in there, I keep telling myself things will improve.....xx

Wanttobeme....I agree entirely that BF is not acting as he should be....I just cant get him out of my head !!

and thank you Sugarlost.....I do deserve someone who cares for me, but where the hell are such men ? lol ....

Sending hugs to you all.....xx

user1496682959 · 12/06/2017 22:19

Evening all hope everyone is ok, and remaining strong....

Had a bit of an odd day really, a real mix of emotions, BF messaged after three days, but still not convinced of his intentions, I did respond but nothing at all...he appears to have dropped off the face of the earth yet again.....I feel like my head is really being messed with...and that my kindness is being abused ....but I cant help how I feel....Part of me feels that I should put myself back on the dating sites which is where we first made contact, but I feel totally unlovable at the moment, I am eating for England and I am already a big girl !!!

Anyway I hope you have all got through today without any major stresses, and hang on in there, I keep telling myself things will improve.....xx

Wanttobeme....I agree entirely that BF is not acting as he should be....I just cant get him out of my head !!

and thank you Sugarlost.....I do deserve someone who cares for me, but where the hell are such men ? lol ....

Sending hugs to you all.....xx

sugarlost · 12/06/2017 22:22

Fab picture Lobster. I agree pets can be such a comfort and a way to create conversation if you have a dog..I'm not in a position to have one unfortunately.

House sharing with the right people would work wonders for many people...I can be reclusive at times...sometimes I feel tired of life and want to hide away and other times I'm ok and go through the motions of making plans to keep myself busy.

It's funny how lonely you can feel when out with certain close friends ...there was a time when the meeting them would make me happy but sometimes you just drift apart I guess and a friend may upset you and you think I can't be asked but you go through the motions as there's history and an expectation you have to attend..the connection just fades as people move on without you which is part of life I guess.

Freeniki it sounds like a difficult time for you. When were you made redundant? Have you any plans work wise or a change of career? I would consider volunteering to help my career( does that sound bad?) and helping others would be an additional benefit. I wish you all the best for the future.

Regarding men...I find they are generally interested in sex until they meet the one...well that's how they come across which puts me right off. It's laughable trying to find a decent man but I guess it works both ways and can be the luck of the draw. ..

I'm watching tv but may go to bed soon or maybe read...too much excitement for me lol

OP posts:
sugarlost · 12/06/2017 22:45

User149 Please be cautious of BF...when they think they can come in and out of your life then it's not a good sign as you know...no wonder your self esteem is low. You need a man that supports you not making you doubt yourself and thinking he is holding all the cards. Do you think maybe it's a good idea to rebuild your confidence before dating again. It's hard when you feel vulnerable and put yourself out there as there are many sharks in the dating pool so we have to be strong emotionally to filter them out before we find the one....we have good hearts and I personally don't have the stress or energy to date a player/arsehole.

Whats my last two relationships where shit too!

There are good men out there ( she chants).....

OP posts:
FreeNiki · 12/06/2017 22:56

A few months ago I lost my job. Volunteering doesn't really work in my profession once you're qualified. It's the kind of thing you do as a student not once you're qualified.

Yes men are interested in sex until they meet the one but why am I always good for sex and not the one?

TryingNotToWaddle · 12/06/2017 23:07

I'm soooobloody lonely, it's been around a year now since splitting with the ex.

I can't meet anyone or date as I have no one to look after the baby and I wouldn't want anyone meeting my children until it got serious. Got no real friends or family anywhere near either.

So I'm like this forever as far as I can see.

FreeNiki · 12/06/2017 23:54

Every year there is a festival I want to go to and every year I never make it as I have no one to go with.

This year is another classic as tickets are selling fast.

Potatogravy · 13/06/2017 00:05

Yes me too!

Spent the day with my young child who is autistic. I have no one near. He's great but hard work. My DH works long hours and is wondering whether we should be together. I moved into DHs home which is miles from anyone I know.

Going on mumsnet for company... Blush

Lobsterquadrille2 · 13/06/2017 06:39

FreeNiki where are you? You sound fabulous. Down on yourself but otherwise great. Get out there! I'll. come to a festival with you!

I so understand all the issues. I have been a single parent for 19 years; didn't feel that I deserved happiness. Said child is now thriving at university and I have met someone who thinks I'm amazing (I am not!).

Self worth. Wake up and think it. I've been through alcoholism, suicide attempts and goodness knows what. Today I wake up and am happy.

ShatnersWig · 13/06/2017 08:21

Can I just say there are decent men out there and some of go through precisely the same things that women do.

I'm 43, have been single for 7 years, haven't had a date in nearly 6. I have almost no family (parents, to whom I am not close, and one grandparent), lots of friends, but of course at weekends they are all doing family things or are away a lot. They are all coupled. Occasionally something might happen on a Friday or Saturday night but not very often. Most weekends I see and speak to no one.

Yes, I keep myself busy with a hobby in the week, I go to the gym for a swim three times a week, I have a hobby at the weekend I can do but it's weather dependent and pretty solo. Where I work I often only see one other person all day, although I love my job.

Next week I have the week off and again in July. I shan't go away because it's so ridiculously expensive to do so if you're single and I want to share things with someone if I am on holiday (I'm not one who lies on the beach all day). So I shall do some day trips.

I've tried joining other clubs but almost everyone at them is coupled and don't tend to socialise outside of the actual activity, they rush home to be with their other half. Meet Up barely exists in our area.

I'm pretty much expecting this is it for me now. I get through as best I can and find things to look forward to but there are times when I have thought "what's the point?" I would never have done anything about it while my adored grandmother was alive but she died almost 12 months ago and quite honestly I think once grandad goes I am probably very likely at some point in the next couple of years to say "sod it" and pull the plug.

noego · 13/06/2017 08:23

Today is a lovely day.

Have an adventure if you are not working. Go somewhere you have never been. Pack a picnic, go for a walk, visit a local town, sit in a café and people watch. Visit a museum, art gallery, look at the architecture. Say hello to people, smile, In other words enjoy life.

See life as living a 52 week self catering holiday and work is a means to an end. Enough of this negativity. Can we change the mindset?? :)

Chasingsquirrels · 13/06/2017 08:31

My loneliness at the moment is the loss of the company and companionship and love of late-DH.
I went round to a friends last night for a meal, which was lovely of them and we had a nice evening - but it's hard seeing the casual touch and closeness between them and missing that myself. And it's very lonely coming home to an empty house.

I agree that you need to content with yourself to an extent to be in a good place to form a relationship
I got together with late-DH a while down the line after exH left and I'd gone through the initial stages - but my relationship with late-DH formed part of my healing process. I guess I was lucky that he was one of the good ones who really cared about me. I could have been left even more bruised by a different kind of man.

I'm on the fence about needing a man.
I don't feel I need one in some ways, but what I do think I and my life benefits enormously from is a close loving relationship with someone who cares about me and who I care about. Someone to share the day to day and the special things with. And sex within than loving relationship.
So not need for the sake of it, but definitely want for the enhancement of life.

SPenfj · 13/06/2017 16:46

my life has been a 520 week holiday, surrounded by couples, largely in my own home town, on a very tight budget, with two kids at home unable to join in the activities that appeal.

Mindset is not a magic formula!

Queenofthedrivensnow · 13/06/2017 16:53

Freeniki - me too! Especially if it's Port Eliot.