Another Boring Prostitute/Husband one :(

[wotabastard]

Opened H's gmail on his laptop totally innocuously to access mine and low and behold there was an email from u k pun tin a registration email from last Monday = (don't want to link back to that scum) As you can imagine, well, I'm shattered. Two dd's, married 2013, together over 10 years. Did some digging and managed to change his password so I could access his account but there is nothing to be seen, he's not participating in any threads at all.

I was hoping there would be a private messaging thing so I could get some cast iron proof of whatever he's engaging in, but nothing, or am I missing something? I came and did some digging here and read a few threads on the subject, saw someone advising to enter username and adultwork into google, another escort site, to find feedback, so I entered his username for the other site, and he has five positive feedback listed from 2013- April 2016 on there.
His account is not active on there though anymore, so I imagine he can easily bullshit that away, though one of the girls is literally a 10 minute from us, the others all in local cities.

I'm angry I don't have clear and irrefutable proof of communications etc. I want to be able to nail the bastard up to a fucking wall with the evidence when I confront him.

I have taken photos of everything I have found on my phone and will keep them safe until needed.

I logged out of the website I changed the password for and deleted all search history of my snooping. When he tries to log in I doubt he will suspect me, he's likely to brush it off as a glitch or attempted hack or something. He also doesn't know the password to my laptop or phone. Not out of me hiding anything, just well, WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER. What a joke.

We have been having tons of amazing sex recently too. Like, soul joining in love sex. What a dickhead.

Any advice? I'm going to get a full STI exam on Friday morning.

Hi Wot, I think you've been and are incredibly strong and brave. Thinking of you and your kids x

How's it going Wot?

Hope you are feeling ok, wot.

Aw thanks guys.

It's going. We're all ok. Slowly lifting my head out of the mire and things don't seem so barren. It's near enough 2 months since I posted here. Can't believe that now!

He's seeing the kids and handing over dosh and I'm able to chat quite happily with him. It's weird. It's only after I think, this guy isn't your friend, he did do all this to you.

One thing is I'm getting really horny. Which is annoying and confusing. No interest in shagging anyone but I'm always thinking about it this past week! Hope that passes quickly! Must be hormones.

I'm glad it's civil as I'm sure itlll make everything easier with the kids. they'll grow up level headed and stable about all this if you are being that way now, so nice work on your part.

Re feeling horny, get yourself to Ann summers and treat yourself

Agree with Boo

Just be careful when do start dating. There are a lot of married predators out there on the look out for recently divorced women. Biggest tell-tale is a lack of availability at weekends and phone calls at rush hour.

Dating again is fun, when you're ready and there are some lovely genuine guys out there. Just take your time.

3 months since this started. I'm full of grief every night. I'm really finding things hard.

I just re-read this whole thing. It doesn't seem real. I feel like I've blurred the edges of what he did and when in his company I feel I'm too civil with him. I want to tell him I fucking hate his pathetic shitty ways.

Stupidly I suggested we take a family holiday in October. I know the girls will love it but wtf was I thinking. I hate him. I'm embarrassed of him.

I'm a mess. I don't know what to do. I can't offload to friends or family without feeling like a burden. Just thought I'd check in here. Sorry I'm on such a downer!

Funnily enough I've been getting more active on other parts of the site and I enjoy that and feel positive about lots of things. I even registered with the OU to start a PPE degree in February. I have a lot of good in my life too.

Wot Ive noticed you on other threads giving sage and helpful advice to other posters. im sorry you are still feeling grief but thats only natural. Hes not been hassling you has he?

And when you suggested the family holiday in October i think you were thinking of your DC Which is something he couldnt manage to do when he was buying women.

If you do go on this holiday though is there a likelihood he will use DC to try and guilt trip you.

Hi wot. I've only just come to this thread but I have rtfl.

Can I just say I think that your bloody amazing. I'm in awe of you.

It's inevitable that you are going to have some down days but that does not take away from what a fabulous role model you are for your children. Unfortunately I guess that trying to build a fantastic life for them as you are means that you have to deal with him in a way that you wouldn't choose to- i.e. With civility.

Perhaps though a holiday is a step too far. You have to think of what is right for you as well as what is right for the dc.
Has he moved on or is he wanting reconciliation? Is taking advantage of your good nature and perhaps that is what is making you feel particularly down?
I hope you have a better day today.
for you.

Have just rtft and wanted to say you are doing so well . Three months is no time st all. Please talk to people in real life life though, they won't think you are a burden but want to support you. Lean on them, I have, and the kindness I have received has been amazing.

Hope you have a good day today. Take each one as it comes. You will get though it.

wot I'm so proud of you! Your daughters are so lucky to have such a strong mother.
If you want to offload, do it on here, no one thinks you're a downer.
You are doing amazing

You've been totally amazing and everyone is right - 3 months is no time at all. You must feel like you're underwater at the moment and no surprise but you'll break the surface by talking with your loved ones and online.

You've been utterly selfless with the holiday for your kids and I applaud you for it. Understand if you can't back out if the kids know about it but if they don't, perhaps don't go. If you have to, remain civil, be strong. I know you want to slap him across the face with a cod but for the girls, to keep a face on it will mean everything later on.

Congrats on enrolling on your course - what are you doing?

Agree with a previous poster...get yourself on Lovehoney and treat yourself to something.

When my STBEXH left I felt the same after a month or so. I bought a Womaniser. It was indulgent and expensive but made me feel bloody amazing. Worth every penny.

Nothing like a good orgasm to calm you down, relax you and bring out those happy hormones.

3 years on it's still going great.

Have just read the entire thread and just wanted to say how amazing you sound...you handled a really shitty situation with class and dignity, your kids must be v proud of you. Just remember everything takes time, don't try to rush yourself into anything and don't expect too much from yourself. You are doing GREAT.

You're allowed to change your mind about the holiday.

3 months is nothing, really!
And please don't think that you can't talk to family and friends.
They are absolutely what got me through the really tough times.
They want to help. Really they do so please lean on them.
Cry when you can and get that out. It does help.
It took me a year to get back to ME, if you know what I mean.
Don't rush this. It's a whole grieving process and it takes time.
You are doing fantastically.
But you will still have so so many down days.
Family and friends will help you through this.

Just read through your thread. You are amazing Wot! Keep looking after yourself

Just read this. You are amazing! Your daughters are going to grow up such strong ladies.

Thank you so much for the kind wishes everyone.

Spent this afternoon reading similar threads with interest, and disgust.

So sorry. Hit Enter...

I have a 3 year old daughter myself, and would hope that she grows to be as strong a woman that will take no shit from scumbags like your ex.

As a married man, who struggles sometimes with a marriage that could be better. And although I know of these sites, Adultwork and the like, I would like to say, to a respectable man they are simply not optional.

And I'm not even that respectable. I'm "alright" at best.

Gutted for you, but read your story with interest, and I hope your future is happier.

All the best.

(I made this account because I've noticed that men seem to get a bad reputation, and I'd like to have my say. We really are not all that bad, no matter what cards we are dealt)

You are seriously amazing. Read this whole thread and am in awe of you, it may not feel like it all the time but you got this OP xxx

Firstly, congratulations on taking such positive steps. From one OU student to another, you'll soon be kept far too busy to dwell on anything - that's just the way I like it too.

You've handled this whole situation with such dignity. You can do anything you put your mind to and you know your worth

Dont go on holiday with the arsehole.

Just RTFT.
Tears in my eyes reading your account of telling DD that your marriage is over. Just makes me so angry and sad at the same time. These men are only sorry when it's all found out. Only then do they realise what they gambled with and lost. Wtf is wrong with them? I just can't get my head around it. What can be more precious than your family? To throw it away for cheap thrills. It's pure arrogance, thinking they can have it all.

Anyway, I think you've handled it all amazingly well. Don't give yourself a hard time, it's bound to be tough before it gets easier. But it will get easier. And always remember it's his shame not yours. Don't you dare feel embarrassed of him. He is the one who should be embarrassed of himself.

It's great that you can be civil around each other for the children but don't blur the boundaries. I think a holiday would send out really mixed messages and confuse them. I know you were thinking of the DC.

Good for you with the OU course too.
Your DDs have an amazing Mum