Another Boring Prostitute/Husband one :(

[wotabastard]

Opened H's gmail on his laptop totally innocuously to access mine and low and behold there was an email from u k pun tin a registration email from last Monday = (don't want to link back to that scum) As you can imagine, well, I'm shattered. Two dd's, married 2013, together over 10 years. Did some digging and managed to change his password so I could access his account but there is nothing to be seen, he's not participating in any threads at all.

I was hoping there would be a private messaging thing so I could get some cast iron proof of whatever he's engaging in, but nothing, or am I missing something? I came and did some digging here and read a few threads on the subject, saw someone advising to enter username and adultwork into google, another escort site, to find feedback, so I entered his username for the other site, and he has five positive feedback listed from 2013- April 2016 on there.
His account is not active on there though anymore, so I imagine he can easily bullshit that away, though one of the girls is literally a 10 minute from us, the others all in local cities.

I'm angry I don't have clear and irrefutable proof of communications etc. I want to be able to nail the bastard up to a fucking wall with the evidence when I confront him.

I have taken photos of everything I have found on my phone and will keep them safe until needed.

I logged out of the website I changed the password for and deleted all search history of my snooping. When he tries to log in I doubt he will suspect me, he's likely to brush it off as a glitch or attempted hack or something. He also doesn't know the password to my laptop or phone. Not out of me hiding anything, just well, WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER. What a joke.

We have been having tons of amazing sex recently too. Like, soul joining in love sex. What a dickhead.

Any advice? I'm going to get a full STI exam on Friday morning.

Thing is, he's probably got that whole mother/whore thing going on and can box women off in their appropriate categories as he sees fit. Horribly misogynistic.

I really think this is much worse than if he'd had an ongoing affair with someone he knew. I am not justifying or condoning affairs, but I think I could be more forgiving of someone who had a bond with another person than a man who buys women like commodities and supports an industry rife with rape, assault and violence. Not to mention that the risk to your sexual health is far greater.

You should text him each question suggested by bewareofdragons and demand an answer for each one.

Hopefully they will make him actually reflect on his actions, otherwise he will continue to minimise them and convince himself and others your the unreasonable one.

If the fact his little girl has to be checked for sti's doesn't floor him, nothing in life will.

Losing his kids? The only thing that's been lost here is his marriage and that's his fault!!

Im so sorry OP. What a dreadful thing to discover. My heart is breaking for you but you seem to be handling it all exceptionally well. He is a louse of the lowest order!

HE stormed out What a Grade A cunt.

I used to work in a sex chatline office 15/16 years ago and the deceit the men used to use to make a phone call...........they would nip outside for some fresh air............go in the bathroom and turn on the shower so their partner couldnt hear them and then have a go at me when i couldnt hear them either because of the running water

Their attitude was that they were paying for my time so even when they had shot their load they would want to stay on the phone and chat inane shit.

I did this job because it was a choice between this or workfare as i was signing on previously and my DH was not well enough to work full time.

I've been reading your thread OP and just wanted to wish you luck and love. You deserve so much better and so do your DC hope telling DD is going as ok as it can, under the circumstances

What a pathetic man baby he is. To weak to face the consequences of his disgusting actions.

Strength OP. You will get through this and you will instinctively know what to say when the time comes.

Hey Wot hope you are ok!! Just can't help but worry about you.

Hi wot
Just a quick message to say I hope he came back in time to speak to you about what to tell your eldest DD.

My parents split and then divorced when I was about 11. I just knew they didn't love each other any more and my dad was moving out. That it was nothing to do with us and we weren't to blame. I was very, very upset at th time but it turned out fine (and I'm fine, marred with dc). We knew they wee going to marriage councelling but I thought that meant it would all be okay and they'd stay together.

I never heard my mum slag my dad off or bitch about him and vice versa. Many many years later we realised my dad had had an affair. He's still married to her, the OW, 22 years later and she is a lovely person. I am very grateful that we were protected from any of the nastiness and upset around it (though I did know my mum was very upset he'd left-as I thought. Been betrayed too I now know).

I'd not worry about who your DD blames here, but aim for her to feel okay about it. That has to be the biggest priority.

he's not great on impulse control is he
hard to understand how he can not see that the self pity and storming off doesnt help his case at all

Good luck Wot. Sounds as if his contrition has run its course. Your love for your dds shines through so clearly. I am sure you will find the right words.

The smirking, the storming off, the entitlement. THIS is the real him.

Hi I have read your thread, really sorry for you, i have been married for 20 years, I doted on my husband he could do no wrong in my eyes, until I found out recently that he had been using prostitutes on and off during our marriage and is addicted to porn using adultworks very frequently and many more similar websites. Have you checked your husbands phone as well? this will be the give away, if he is using prostitutes he will possibly be sexting with them too. So sorry for you but once they have dipped their toe into this dark world they usually go back in at some stage, my husband is now seeing a sex therapist. I couldnt understand this behaviour because my husband works in the caring profession and is very much respected as an honourable man, but a whole seedy double life has opened up and the saddest thing is I really found him attractive and was constantly asking him why he didnt want sex with me or why he never instigated it, i tried everything but the simple reason is men like these want risky sex, they get a high on it, and will put everything on the line, most loving husbands would never contemplate this even if they fantacise. I am now divorcing, we have 2 children, its very sad but If you decide to forgive and forget (impossible to forget) it could possibly happen again and it usually goes in stages, they are sorry and will never do it again but more than not often they return. I hope you are getting support from friends and good luck with your decision making

I hope he came back in time and yesterday went ok with your 10 year old.

I just want to say I am thinking of you Wot. I hope that the chat with your little girl went as well as possible

I hope you and your little girls are ok, Wot.

I feel so relieved. It went much better than I could ever expect. Dare I say it but I feel like I could smile today. I know it is early days but I think we are all going to survive. Will update later on.

Thank you so much well wishers.

So pleased to read this. Sending love!

You will survive, OP. Not only that, you and your little girls with thrive together I'm sure, because you're a good mum

I am so pleased to read your update OP! You are so strong

Really good to hear Wot -thinking of you

You are probably one of the strongest women on MN I have ever seen . You hold that head high op. I'm so sorry you are goimg through this. You're doing great xx

Ditto what farmerswife said, you're amazingly strong. Keep going!

My dh's dad had multiple affairs when he was young and even recalls meeting one or two. He lost respect for his dad for many years. And he sees his dad as a flawed human being. Their relationship is non existent. Kids are very aware and it affects them in different ways. Suffice to say my dh is extremely militant about affairs and there are no second chances if I were to ever have one!