Another Boring Prostitute/Husband one :(

[wotabastard]

Opened H's gmail on his laptop totally innocuously to access mine and low and behold there was an email from u k pun tin a registration email from last Monday = (don't want to link back to that scum) As you can imagine, well, I'm shattered. Two dd's, married 2013, together over 10 years. Did some digging and managed to change his password so I could access his account but there is nothing to be seen, he's not participating in any threads at all.

I was hoping there would be a private messaging thing so I could get some cast iron proof of whatever he's engaging in, but nothing, or am I missing something? I came and did some digging here and read a few threads on the subject, saw someone advising to enter username and adultwork into google, another escort site, to find feedback, so I entered his username for the other site, and he has five positive feedback listed from 2013- April 2016 on there.
His account is not active on there though anymore, so I imagine he can easily bullshit that away, though one of the girls is literally a 10 minute from us, the others all in local cities.

I'm angry I don't have clear and irrefutable proof of communications etc. I want to be able to nail the bastard up to a fucking wall with the evidence when I confront him.

I have taken photos of everything I have found on my phone and will keep them safe until needed.

I logged out of the website I changed the password for and deleted all search history of my snooping. When he tries to log in I doubt he will suspect me, he's likely to brush it off as a glitch or attempted hack or something. He also doesn't know the password to my laptop or phone. Not out of me hiding anything, just well, WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER. What a joke.

We have been having tons of amazing sex recently too. Like, soul joining in love sex. What a dickhead.

Any advice? I'm going to get a full STI exam on Friday morning.

I think the evidence you have is pretty telling.

I think the bigger issue I'd struggle with is the 'why' bit? He must be so bored & think things are so dull, that he has to buy sex. Couldn't forgive anyone for that type of cheating

I'm sorry OP.
I must be awful right now.
The shock and adrenalin will keep you going for a while but you will crash.
Please look after yourself.
Tackle this, as and when you are ready!

Did you speak to your husband last night?

If your DM says anything about your weight then I'd fall out with her, she's missing a massive point! There no line in wedding vows that says "can visit prostitutes if part goes overweight" 😡

OP hope you are ok. My DH did something a few years ago that he swore blind he wouldn't do and I recently found out. It was nowhere near what your DH has done but I remember feeling broken.

Sending you lots of strength to deal with this.

Thanks so much for those who have replied, it was a boost to see you thinking of me. I haven't been able to bring myself to tell anyone yet so being able to vent and get myself together first is really helpful.

Ok, big update.

I spent last night with my heart pumping in my throat, literally rattling with adrenaline, I thought I was going to have a heart attack at one point.

He came home and I managed to keep it together, passed off as tired so not very chatty whatever and I went to bed soon after. Later on I heard the front door go and he went outside to smoke. I jumped up and went to the living room, his laptop was open and I opened gmail. He'd requested a new password for the one I changed. I was pacing around, thinking I need to have it out with him but just took a photo and went back to bed. I knew I needed to get into his phone. He had to be doing everything on his phone. So we slept side by side, me rushing with adrenaline thinking I have to get his phone, I woke up this morning and he was in a deep sleep so after building up the courage I gently picked up his phone and locked myself in the bathroom.

It was all there. He has an adult work account where he makes bookings. He clearly uses the other one to cross check reviews before booking. In his search history there was a girl who lives a couple of streets over from us. Imagine. I took photos of all messages, all confirmed bookings, everything. I've sent the lot to my private dropbox account. There is no getting out of anything.

I will be getting the ball rolling hopefully tomorrow, I am desperately thinking of my children and I do not want them in the firing line at all so I need to plan and take stock and try to get them out of here for when the shit hits the fan.

I am so, so, so disappointed. He is a lie.

Oh OP. You poor darling.

I'm so sorry, OP. You must be in shock. At least now though, you know the extent of it, so he won't be able to wriggle out of it by saying he was just looking.

What an utter heartless bastard.

So sorry but least you have irrefutable proof now; say goodbye to this loser, he's not worth your energy; disgusting, vile, unforgivable; some men are just dickheads who have no remorse or conscience, he's one of them; hate these men who pay for sex and think it's ok.

I'm so, so sorry, but in some ways, at least you have everything you need now, rather than having to wonder what has been going on for weeks

How old are your DCs? Are they on half term?

Fucking hell OP, how these disgusting men manage to compartmentalise their lives like this is beyond me.

Ok, you need to get your ducks in a row before you blow this Pandora's box wide open. this is where Mumsnet comes into its own, you need to know exactly where you stand financially and how you are going to move on without him. Do you work?

Jeez, that fucking sucks. I'm so sorry for you and your DC.
Right, big girl pants time...sort out your documents, pack him a bag and prepare for a bumpy ride. It WILL be worth it though. You do not need that man in your life.

I rang my mum and dad they were amazing. I said he had been cheating on me for several years with various people, thought that was enough for now. Not said anything to him yet. I'm sorry my head is fucked, I'll be back later. Thanks so much guys.

I am so so sorry OP.

But in a way thank goodness you got into his phone so there is no drip drip drip of lies / denials / half truths etc.

It's so clear what has happened that you can at least be spared any further confusion.

I am so sorry. I am sending you all the strength in the world and . He doesn't deserve you.

So so sorry. What an awful discovery.
You have done all the right things so far. It might be worth getting a bit of legal advice and getting copies of financial info etc too.

There is a new brighter future once you are through all this

OP im so sorry, what an awful thing to find. Hope your ok x

There are no words OP, we are here any time

So heartbreaking for you, I'm so sorry. Well done for getting that evidence, there's no way he can deny this.

Thinking of you op. You are doing the right thing. What a scum bag! X

I'm very sorry too. What an utter bastard, on so many levels. Well done for seeing this through.

Such a slime ball! Disgusting that he's putting your health at risk as well! Glad you managed to save yourself evidence.

What a complete bastard. I'm so sorry your going through this

Another one here for you love, this is dreadful. thinking of you

How awful. I'm so sorry for you

This is so horrific for you. This is a good place for you to vent your feelings.

How can men be such utter arseholes, really really weak and stupid?

I don't know you but I am with you. Its just so awful.