Another Boring Prostitute/Husband one :(

[wotabastard]

Opened H's gmail on his laptop totally innocuously to access mine and low and behold there was an email from u k pun tin a registration email from last Monday = (don't want to link back to that scum) As you can imagine, well, I'm shattered. Two dd's, married 2013, together over 10 years. Did some digging and managed to change his password so I could access his account but there is nothing to be seen, he's not participating in any threads at all.

I was hoping there would be a private messaging thing so I could get some cast iron proof of whatever he's engaging in, but nothing, or am I missing something? I came and did some digging here and read a few threads on the subject, saw someone advising to enter username and adultwork into google, another escort site, to find feedback, so I entered his username for the other site, and he has five positive feedback listed from 2013- April 2016 on there.
His account is not active on there though anymore, so I imagine he can easily bullshit that away, though one of the girls is literally a 10 minute from us, the others all in local cities.

I'm angry I don't have clear and irrefutable proof of communications etc. I want to be able to nail the bastard up to a fucking wall with the evidence when I confront him.

I have taken photos of everything I have found on my phone and will keep them safe until needed.

I logged out of the website I changed the password for and deleted all search history of my snooping. When he tries to log in I doubt he will suspect me, he's likely to brush it off as a glitch or attempted hack or something. He also doesn't know the password to my laptop or phone. Not out of me hiding anything, just well, WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER. What a joke.

We have been having tons of amazing sex recently too. Like, soul joining in love sex. What a dickhead.

Any advice? I'm going to get a full STI exam on Friday morning.

Just to reassure you if you are worried about ringing Samaritans:

As an (allegedly) hard as nails, six foot tall male police officer I have cried my eyes out down the phone to Samaritans more times than I can remember, about both work and personal issues.

I found it really helps and they won't judge you.

Try to think "I'll never meet the person I am talking to".

That helps me to just let go.

Give them a call. It might really help.

You have been so strong and fierce but of course you have to grieve for your relationship.

You have been through something seismic-just because nothing physical has happened to you it doesn't mean the mental effects will be less than they would be say if you had been involved in an accident or some such (god forbid). My counsellor told me that when I crashed a few months after finding out about my situation... you have been and are going through still, something traumatic. Now is the time to be very kind to yourself, and to focus on recovery (without wanting to sound totally wanky). Can you get away a bit? Take some time off work? And I would urge you to book some counselling.i thought I didn't need it.I was wrong.It has been the only thing that helped me-and continues to help me really-if nothing else it gives you an outlet.
Lots of love to you op

How has today been Wot?

Thinking of you Wot xx

Hope you're ok Wot sending love and strength

Thank you so much everyone. I just feel dreadful this week. Lost my oomph.
Keeping on trucking though.

Oomph will be back , I am sure.

The adrenaline has worn off, there is always a low after a rush or high of anything (unless you can gently come down, which obviously isn't possible here). You will even out again, stay strong. You have absolutely done the right thing.

Thinking of you too .

You are magnificent OP. I've read your whole thread (slow day at work!) and I'm seriously in awe of your strength in the face of his horrific behaviour.

How are you getting on Wot?

i only read the 1st page.
if you want proof.

1. if the laptop is your laptop and he uses it installed a key-logger /screen grabber software,
2. at the last min say you heading to out with the kids over night. making sure it is after payday.
3. - hope he used the computer rather then his phone
4. come home the following day and check the computer/software to see what he has been doing.

if you have access to his phone run a back up on your machine of his phone. do step 2-3, step 4 run a new back up. use software to retrieve messages (even bring up deleted messages).

or

Check the users phone bill and check the numbers :)

I should say I work in IT and always have manages coming up asking if a can restore txt messages on there phones. or put Keylogging software on a colleague and monitor there internet access on the server (you can Imagen the kinda things i see, when people should be working).

I would like to say i have not done the above to my other half or any of my Xe's. as i am the kinda guy once the trust is gone it is gone.

also sometimes I may give my other half 1 mistake as we are human but depending on the mistake and trust it depends on if they get the chance or not

Mackan RTFT FGS

What a cockwomble! Stay strong wot you're doing great!

lol Mackan you read one page of a 644 page thread started on the 30th May and assumed we wouldn't have managed to get down to the getting proof part? Ok. Thanks so much for coming along to help.

I'm ok. A fucking mess behind closed doors, and doing some questionable parenting but trying to get through each day. Anger rears it's ugly head at least once a week. Literally rolling through the grief process weekly like it's ground hog day. Hate what this is doing to my eldest. Hate what it's doing to everything. Hate everything about it.

Thanks to those asking after me.

*644 message not page. Whatever.

Every day at the moment will present its challenges but you're so strong OP you know you are. Not every day you'll feel that strong woman you are when you're absolutely unstoppable, but you really are!
Keep talking to us, we're all here supporting you and thinking of you

wot

. You are a good person and you will get through this.

Delurking to send

Wot you have been incredibly strong in the face of devastation. You're an anazing role model for your DD

I hope that you're getting plenty of RL support and that your ExDH is being reasonable as you build your separate lives. Please do keep posting if you find it helpful, but you don't owe us anything. Remember to cherish yourself - you're worth it!

xxx