He had an affair...breaking out the Ben & Jerry's (2)

[Syc4moreTrees]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/thirty_days_only/2914533-If-hes-having-an-affair?

Not sure if I've managed to create a link to the old thread...someone more tech savvy can maybe help me out a little bit if not?

The old thread closed before i could thank you all again for all the collective wisdom, it's been a very surreal month to say the least, but it's been crazy how much support you can get from a bunch of lovely strangers.

So thanks!! You're all awesome!

Honestly, I sort of assume she was drunk when she decided it was a good idea to email me, it came in at 4 am last night to my work email (which actually explains how she got it (i'm an idiot)(but also having a WH makes you suspicious right?))

It is very long and meandering, and graphic. She describes her love for my WH, tells me what an awesome guy he is, and explains that they had a lot of very adventurous monkey sex over an entire afternoon. She thinks I have been unfair to "ban him" from his game, and wishes me luck in keeping a hold of him if i continue to be a maniacal dictator. - that's the gist of it.

I sort of dream of being one of those straight talking american bloggers who write back to the OW and express their despair that the sisterhood has been damaged but ultimately offer a hug since "he's used us both" but actually, what i want to do is send her back the words "fuck you" in bold font underlined at size 72.

Probably i'll just put it in the spam folder?

I'de keep hold of that,

Possibly print it out poster size and stick it up around town, or on the nearest flyover
Cc in him and his parents and send it on, she really has no shame does she, and apparantly
Neither does he. 💐

keep a copy somewhere accessible in case you need it for future reference but I would forward to your husband with a pithy message. Make him stew.

What a completely evil cow. You must show it to WH.

Forward it to her husband

Why would she have your work email?

And yes, definitely print out for WH.

The whole thing just gets more ludicrous. WH can read it later if he wants, but it'll only make him want to speak to her to ask her to wise up, and i'd honestly rather he wasn't speaking to her about anything.

She's obviously got a problem if she's been this overcome by his wild monkey-ness.

Monkey sex really doesn't sound that appealing.

Monkey sex also doesn't sound very likely! In my experience he's proficient enough but certainly not gymnastic 🤦🏻‍♀️

Does monkey sex involve bananas?

kait i'm not sure i want to know the answer to that one

Seriously?! She's being a malicious bitch. It's one thing to email you an apology with some basic facts but she's just being a goady fucker and trying to cause you more pain.

I don't think you should let WH move into the spare room, once his cars sorted he can bloody drive to yours every morning to help get DC ready for school so there's no need for him to stay. Unless you're certain you want to work things out surely it will confuse DC if he moves in to help with baby then moves back out again.

Does she still not know you are pregnant?

Oh yes absolutely do not let him move into the spare room. He needs his own place.

She's hurting because he was cruel to her. She can't contact him anymore, so she's making do with you. I'd block her and not give her the satisfaction of a reply. She desperately still wants to be involved in your relationship, any response at all from you will tick that box for her.

She'll currently be refreshing her emails like a mad person hoping for a reply. Don't feed her.

He is responsible for hurting her as well. Remember when you said "hurting her doesn't unhurt me" - it still applies.
Middle of the night, probably drunk texting, reliving the event sounds like she is in a bad way. Her own fault obviously, but she is suffering.
He needs to face up to all the misery he has helped cause.

I'd show him but make it clear you do not want him to contact her and respond. If she's that infatuated with WH and his monkey sex a response from him will only encourage her.

She has caused her own suffering by knowingly shagging a married man regardless of whatever lies he may or may not have told her. I wouldn't feel any empathy for her at all. But I do agree that it's best not to contact her.
I'd show WH the email but make it clear you don't want him to respond. After all if she's that infatuated with WH and his monkey sex a response will only encourage her.

I won't be contacting her, as i do still stand by the notion that hurting her serves no purpose, it's just annoying that she doesn't abide by my logic . I'll save my ranty frustrations for you all so i'm not tempted to lambaste her.

She's daft to have admitted to adultery in my opinion and if we end up being divorced I actually would be tempted to threaten to name her in proceedings just to see if she catches a grip of herself.

There's nothing good to come out of any of it as far as i can see. I halfway hope the sex was so bloody fabulous as to have warranted this path of destruction.

WH suggests he cooks dinner at the house tonight. I think he's being a little bit sneaky. I also feel like i'm about to go into labour and wish I had stopped work already.

She should be concentrating on her own marriage. Deserves no sympathy at all.

I suspect she's also desperately trying to provoke a reaction from WH so that she can plead/beg/manipulate herself back into his life. If he really has cut her off cold turkey then there's no other way for her to try to communicate with him except through you. She's desperate.

I'm amazed you're still standing, Trees.
So he told her that you've, 'banned him"? You'd think she would be
kryptonite to him now if he really does want to make amends.

Id be careful of his slowly worming his way back in op. It will be really confusing for the kids and could really hurt them all over again.

I think he's taking advantage of your position right now.

He can help at a distance if he's so determined to help.

And you feel like you're about to go in to labour - oh my, I hope
it all goes well for you, lovely.