He had an affair...breaking out the Ben & Jerry's (2)

[Syc4moreTrees]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/thirty_days_only/2914533-If-hes-having-an-affair?

Not sure if I've managed to create a link to the old thread...someone more tech savvy can maybe help me out a little bit if not?

The old thread closed before i could thank you all again for all the collective wisdom, it's been a very surreal month to say the least, but it's been crazy how much support you can get from a bunch of lovely strangers.

So thanks!! You're all awesome!

I do hope the OP hasn't been scared off by the furious anti WH posts.

It can't be easy to what to do right now OP and please know that whatever you choose to do this will always be a safe place for you to come back and talk/rant if that's what you need.

Thinking of you

Thinking of you OP, hope you're managing to enjoy your little one!

Sorry I've been a bit awol! The little one got an infection and was in hospital for a few days, but he's home and back to being a sleepy little dream. It focused my mind though!

H has been very supportive (as of course he should be). Older Kids are finished for the holidays now, and the nanny is settling in quite well. So all in all things are going ok ish.

WH is still going to his therapy thing, but generally we've not had the time/inclination to discuss things any further. I think everything that's to be said has been said and it's just a matter of letting things bed down and seeing where we go.

I've been a bit of an emotional wreck and been struggling with things a little but I know that's probably partly baby blues.

Thanks so much for all the support. I really appreciate that you're rooting for me.

Ah no, I'm sorry to hear the littlest one has been poorly. Really
glad he's back home and back to being a dream.

Be kind to yourself Trees, you've been through and continue to go through so much

Oh bloody hell Trees, I'm so sorry to hear about little one

How's he doing now? Is he completely recovered?

And, very importantly, are you getting any support from anyone other than WH? I'm not surprised you're an emotional wreck, you haven't exactly had an easy time of it xx

Sorry to hear baby has been unwell what a worry for you. Nanny's arrival very timely, take some of the strain of you.

What matters at the moment is taking care of yourself, baby and boys.

He just got himself all hot and bothered, had to dunk the poor wee mite in some ice to cool him down. They're waiting for results from tests, but he seems back to his usual self and is snuggled up at home. So it's all ok for now. Thankfully

Hey Syc, Sorry to hear about LO being poorly. Im glad to read the new nanny is doing well but sorry to hear you have been struggling emotionally.

We are all here rooting for you x

What a time of it you’re having, Trees, sorry to learn your lo has been poorly. And it’s really not surprising you’ve been an emotional wreck, it’s amazing to me you’ve coped so well thus far.

I can’t look at Ben & Jerry’s the same again without thinking of bloody fool WH.
Wishing you happiness.

So sorry your LO has been ill and so glad he's back to himself. Spent some time in hospital with my youngest last year when he was 10 months and was a gibbering wreck just from that, so please be gentle with yourself. Xx

Oh that is tough dealing with poorly baby with everything else. Hope you get some headspace soon to reflect on your marriage.

Thinking of you and wishing you all good things with your family

Hope everything is ok Trees! And that the new baby is healthy and making u smile. Keep strong x

Hi Trees, your poor little one! I'm glad he is on the mend! Lots of love and hugs for you and your squishy boy. It isn't half scary having a poorly little one!

I hope that with your nannies help, you can enjoy spending the Summer and the rest of your maternity leave with your boys.

Just wanted to say hi and that I've been wishing you well from a distance. Hope your little one has been recovering well and that you've been weathering the storms too. Take care of yourself!

Thanks so much to you all! Baby is well on the mend and getting squishier all the time!

Things remain a little hectic, and we're getting some work done to the house. I have totally overestimated how much can be achieved in 10 weeks of "maternity leave"!!

WH bought me an eternity ring (*rolls eyes so hard they fall out of my head). He's still keen to make things work etc etc, but is actually doing a good job at asking me what I want before he just does things (except the ring thing obvs). I think the therapy is going well for him, but we are both still hugely emotional about things.

His brother is visiting next week, and will probably stay at ours (mine). He has 2 kids, so it's going to be another crazy week.

Also...my parenting record has reached a new low, I just discovered today that our littlest, now poor neglected middle child, has been using my moon cup to rinse his mouth after brushing. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Quite possibly the weirdest thing I have ever discovered!! Thank goodness I sterilise the flipping thing between uses, still totally gross though! I need to parental supervise!!! #failing

Haha! From a distance, that last paragraph is hilarious. Hope you're able enjoy the comic absurdity through the general 'eeeugh!' of your discovery.

Sounds like WH is trying the best he can, and still hoping like hell he can make this nightmare unhappen. Glad he's getting better at asking what you want, though, and very, very glad your squishy little one is back in the pink.

So pleased baby is on the mend, love the word squishier - so descriptive .

Did the boys get to decorate their rooms as they wanted, the schemes sounded awesome.

Seems as if WH is trying his best, you're bound to be very emotional with everything.

Had to look up moon cup - don't think they were around in my youth

HJ - I suppose it'll make for an interesting story for his wedding day 😳

Kezia decorating is well underway! We just got our Tardis blue paint today! Whoohooo.

Can't get over the mooncup - that's hilarious! And very glad for squishiness! So pleased you're still facing forwards and keeping moving, Trees!

Just caught up on recent postings. Sorry LO was unwell and so pleased that he is recovered and getting squishy.
I can't believe WH has suggested regular 'date nights'! He really doesn't get the gravity of the situation does he? It's as though he has completely discounted permanent separation as a very real possibility.
Take your time and decide what you want in your own time. Maybe come September time (ish) when the older boys are back at school etc you may be ready for some individual counselling sessions to help you decide your future direction.
Did I read that you're only taking 10 weeks maternity? That's a very short time considering all that's happening- would you consider extending it?
I hope you're able to enjoy the summer with your boys, despite all that's gone on.

I am unfortunately self employed, so we planned baby to arrive for the start of summer court recess, and all being well i should be back for court kicking off again, but have in all honestly completely underestimated how much having a baby takes out of you, and obviously hadn't considered that my life was going to get dropped from a great height.

May be that we have to re-visit my commitments, but there's not much of a prospect of a vastly extended leave.

WH is back working full time-ish hours, and is having the older boys a few days in the week, but middly-moon-cup-son won't stay over and our older boy seems to have taken a bit of a huff with his dad, so things are a wee bit tense on that front.

ho hum. Things I didn't envisage for our lives.

Oh syc I laughed a little too hard at your wee ones ingenious use for your mooncup.

Sorry you are running out of maternity time that was always going to be hard even before all the other stuff.

'Middly -Moon-cup-son
I hope you find way of cutting down on your work commitments a bit for a while after you return to work. You'll have a lot on your plate.
I expect your older boys need some time to adjust to all the changes in their lives. Maybe the school holidays will give them a chance to relax and also get used to being at their dad's. He needs to invest the time in them so they feel more comfortable about it.

Jesus! Do little boys do that with Mooncups?!