Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Another date with Mr Naval Officer tomorrow. He's being a bit more chatty via whatsapp and it was his idea to go out so dinner it is!

Last weekend with him was so nice, hoping he suggests we do the same next weekend. Dinner out, Dr Who and then a film and lots of snuggles and waking up together followed by a walk and brunch.

I'm not seeing anybody else so just need to clarify if we we going to exclusively date one of these days! But I've only known him 3 weeks and we've had 4 dates including a weekend at his so I'm trying not to put any pressure on myself! But I really like him.

Far, Runs and Polar all sounds good!

OLD such a rollercoaster. Sorry for all the horrible experiences. Dating sites should step in to stop abuse when asked - they can block IP addresses!

And yay for good ones of Far, Runs and Polar.

Still good here. Date 5 continued to this am. Date 6 tomorrow as we both have time off. Just trying to keep it in perspective. And just enjoying it for what it is. And yes has given me me a bit more confidence too.

And with regard to men and women in fifties. Yes what I meant is that because many more men set lower age criteria there are more women available to date men in their fifties than vice versa.

I have had a few messages this weekend, feeling congpfused about Mr machanic, he was my first OLD over 2 years ago, he messed me around and we were only FWB, it seems he was going through a rough time with his wife when he started seeing me but didn't tell me this, he has now split up with her and has moved into his own place. We used to text a lot and I really liked him but the fact he lied about being married probably means he will lie about anything? We have been chatting today and he has invited me to his.

Mr boat is being pushy, wants me to go to his boat or for him to come to my house one evening, I don't really want to do either for a first date, would rather meet half way in a pub for a quiet drink as then their is less pressure.

Lovemusic they both sound like bad options to be honest. Is it possible that you are too nice and trusting and men try to take advantage of that? Do you think there is a pattern here?

If Mr boat was a good guy, he wouldn't be pushing for these things. It's not the norm. You owe him nothing. You can cut contact. If you try to remain friends with these liars and manipulators it will encourage them.

I know , Mr machanic just gets into my head, I know he's not what I am really looking for.

I have had messages from 8 people this weekend but most of the s profiles say 'not looking for any type of comitement' so basically they are looking for a shag. I'm starting to think that my profile pictures must be giving off the wrong impression of me? Most of the people that message me have not read my profile, just looked at my pictures .

LoveMusic don't be sad. Just keep screening the messages until someone good comes along.

lovemusic I've messaged you. Let me know what you think

Lovemusic Mr Mechanic is not trustworthy.
I wouldn't want a second date at my place or theirs, I think that's why my last 2 second dates were cancelled with short notice

I think Mr Boat is just desperate to meet me, I told him I was busy with work and couldn't get a sitter this week, he suggested he comes over mine when the kids are in bed. There's no way a first date would take place in my house whist my kids are here. POF is just full of weirdos. Now I have spotted a weird profile put on today and I am parinoid it's my ex trying to make contact with me, I have an injunction/restraining order against him and he has tried several sneaky ways to contact me so I wouldn't put it past him. I think I might have to hide my profile for a bit and maybe just hang out on Tinder.

I have message you runsforcake just wondering if it would be good if a load of people message Mr Stalker to make him think he's suddenly popular?? 😝

Watch this - don't settle:

m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1439400946139201&id=234859083260066

Poo. I don't think the link is working. But it is ace.

It is working x

Yay! I needed to hear what Trent has to say - guard your heart & don't settle. We are all better than that!

I was feeling down and confused earlier thinking my iron wasn't bothered. Visited and had a great day, talked lots, he showed he was interested and we found out more that we have in common. Still not in an ideal place as have general anxiety issues, but today was a good day.

I'm trying to talk to 5 people at once, none of them are really potential relationship material. Mr Facebook messaged me this evening to say he saw me earlier in town ( I didn't see him ), I still haven't plucked up the courage to ask him out.

Wondering if I should use Mr mechanic as a FWB.

I wouldn't LM but I wouldn't be able to not get emotionally invested.

I've got a date on Thursday, see how that goes but otherwise the guys I'm chatting with are probably just friends potential.

Just watching the F1 GP now, wonder if there's going to be more moaning about Vettel's language.

Thanks everyone - yes indeed a very lucky escape! I'm chalking it up as yet another nutjob on POF. Sadly, I'm an old veteran with this OLD merry go round, I don't get upset anymore, I now just block, delete, dust myself off and NEXT.

Just by sheer coincidence my friend who is on also on POF came into contact with this man last week and she ended up blocking him as well

On a very very positive note I have a date lined up for this Wednesday evening. I've been chatting with this guy on and off for approximately two weeks. He finally called me today we had a nice chat and a giggle. I'm looking forward to meeting him ;-)

LM please don't consider Mr Mechanic as a FWB. He sounds identical to my former FWB, was unhappily married when we met & didn't tell me. Split up from his ex and got his own place last year and made contact with me and started chatting. He actually wanted to pick things up where we left off and be FWB, only problem I stopped entering FWB situations 4 years ago after I ended it with him.

Are his initials LB, is he 44 & does he live in the Midlands?

LoL

I didn't bother sending another message to Miss Chic. I'm the prize, she missed out.

Don't need to send another message anyway, she didn't reply hence she's not interested. It's just that clear and simple. Hey ho.

I'm sticking to my guns and bailing from active service. I won't close my accounts though because it keeps the option open of receiving messages.

I honestly think I'll be single forever, it's just not happening! I don't mean that in a negative way either, it's just how I feel. I can't imagine meeting anyone and having a relationship, just doesn't seem real.

Info
Single forever is how I see my future too. This thread was a huge support when I was first OLD-I wonder how many of us lurk?-but I decided earlier this year to hang up my boots. After a couple of two/three month things with guys who turned out to be players,I just found it was making me dislike and distrust men generally,which I didn't like in myself as irl I never seem to run into the OLD type. I've dated men who just aren't my type in an attempt to break a pattern-disastrous on the whole as there has to be at least some attraction-yet ultimately I've ended up finding it hard work. Constant messaging really isn't my thing,and I resented using my precious free time (life is manic at the best of times) staring at a screen..she said,hanging out on MN
I deleted all the apps,although my Tinder profile is just hidden rather than deleted on the off chance I change my mind,and if i do try to meet someone it'll be through the meet up type route. I found in the end that dating didn't add to my life,it definitely made me more anxious and unhappy,when generally I love my life and wouldn't change it for the world.
I do think OLD can work-I have friends happily settled who met online-but for me it just isn't worth the effort.
To whoever recommended the Stuart Maconie James book-was it out or Allthem?- thank you!!
Back to lurking

Yep agree. Looking back to the rules also, I was breaking rule 8. It's just not fun anymore.

After a lot of trying sometimes you just have to accept a method isn't for you, it's more positive to stop than it is to continue.