Dating Thread 117 - summer loving!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Abi

"To whoever recommended the Stuart Maconie James book-was it out or Allthem?- thank you!!"

That would have been me - did you get it? It costs a fortune!

Update on southern meet-ups - myself and mumfun met in London on Friday after work for a drink and pizza (just me for the latter), and then five of us met in Cambridge last night to talk dating, relationships, careers and bestiality. As you do.

:)

Nuse not the same bloke, this ones 36 (which is quite young for me), I'm not sure what he's really looking for, I really liked him when we first started talking, we used to text a lot but when it come to meeting he blew hot and cold (obviously because he was still living with his wife), I don't really know the detail, can only go by what his profile now reads 'that he has resently split up from his wife and he has 2 young children'. I think he's probably looking for text and sex buddy, I don't see him as relationship material as there would be huge trust issues.

I had a message last night from Mr Tall, he was the man I was chatting too for a few weeks, arranged to meet and then he vanished, he obviously chose someone else over me and I didn't chase. He sent me a message apologising for being a twat and asked me if he should still keep my number, I haven't even bothered to reply.

Mr Boat wants to meet up half way for a walk one day next week after I explained that I didn't want him coming to my house and I didn't want to go to his boat, he seems ok about that.

I must ask Mr Facebook out, I must message him tonight, please persuade me to do it. He is so sweet, lives a few miles away and we have a lot in common. If I could get a date with him I would probably forget about the other 2.

If I hide my profile on POF can I still chat to people I have already been messaging? Can I still look at people's profiles?

I'm feeling a bit paranoid about being stalked and I have a feeling my ex has set up an account to stalk me, I don't want him seeing when I'm online or looking at my photos but I don't want the joy of having to set up a new account again so would rather just hide for a bit.

Lovemusic send a message to Mr Facebook asking if he would like to get together for a coffee/drink. He's the best of the bunch by far and you've got nothing to lose!! The worst that can happen is that he says no or makes an excuse. If you get together and it's just friendly that will be fine won't it?

You right Pavonia I have nothing to lose, I don't no why I'm being so silly about it, I think he likes me, he sent me a message saying he spotted me in town yesterday and said I looked bauitful (I was looking pretty rubbish, just finished work and was wearing my worst clothes) so he is obviously interested, for some reason I just feel really nervous about meeting up with him, I'm pretty sure he will say 'yes' to meeting but I then know I will be a bag of nerves.

lovemusic you can still look at profiles and message new people if you are hidden. No one can see you.

Go for Mr Facebook!
I've sent you a PM

Thank you, I'm going to hide my account for a bit and ask out Mr Facebook (I just need to be brave).

Go for it LM he sounds interested to me!

Mr City text me last night asking for a 3rd date and I've replied that we are at different places in the dating game, he has been very mature about it and said he knows his living circumstances aren't normal so we are going to meet soon for a coffee as friends. It's actually nice he hasn't gone off in a strop and left things on a sour note.

Talking to a couple of other guys and ignoring the ones with no photos - suspicious much?!

lovemusic

You said "If I could get a date with him I would probably forget about the other 2."

Well firstly, try for the date with him.
Secondly - the other two aren't good enough for you, no matter whether mr Facebook is decent or not. If he's not interested, or doesn't work out, that doesn't suddenly make the other two better people.

Mr boat has been seemingly aiming for a shag on a first date. On a boat.

The other one, well what happens if he is actually after a relationship now. He may actually be single and living by himself (after his wife threw him out for shagging other women when they were meant to be happily married) and he may be a branch-swinger, looking for someone else to cook and clean for him until he goes off them and starts shagging someone else.

Didn't he say he was recently separated when you first met him? He's saying the same thing now.. he may be looking for an fwb or he may be looking for the next branch to swing to, but either way, he's not good enough for you.

Don't settle for a dick, just because you haven't found someone fantastic yet.

out
Thank you! And no,I'm very lucky that a friend came up trumps when I put a begging 'please does anyone have a copy I can borrow' post on FB; saw it recommended,thought I'd just nip onto Amazon/EBay and order a copy,then nearly fainted when I saw the price. Definitely due another print run.
Lovely on the southern meet ups :)

Your right Bant, when I first met Mr machanic he told me he wasn't married and had been single for ten months, he also told me he didn't have any kids.

I'm not sure what to make of Mr Boat, he is ether over friendly or he just wants a shag, he has said that he's not Looking for a hook up but has invited me to stay at his boat which implies he's after a shag?

I have now hidden my account on POF. Tonight I shall message mr Facebook and sort out a date. He's the only one that seems ok, I have known him (online) for a couple years and he seems pretty normal .

How many of us meet someone and wait for the negatives due to previous relationships?
I had a pretty rocky last one and my date of 5 weeks stayed for the first time this weekend. Due to my ex being very moody in the mornings I was anxious when I woke but he was lovely..normal & made me a cuppa!
Anyway amazing weekend with him..can't fault and miss him already! Was on a total high last night when he left then had a friend get a bit funny that I'm rushing things so feel a bit blah..

love I'm relieved we aren't talking about the same person, however it's disturbingly laughable how similar the behaviour is(?).
I agree with bant you deserve better than to "settle". If Mr Facebook doesn't work out then you will be OK until " he" appears in your life. ;-)

I hear you Info on Rule 8. I've disabled my OKC account; I can't be dealing with then onslaught of "utterly not right for me in any capacity" blokes. I'll take the financial hit, I just don't like going on there any more, I feel like I need a shower after.

Left two conversations in mid-, well I can't say "flow" as I'd come to a point in both of going "oh FFS what do I say NOW?" which doesn't bode well for real life. So I'll Just use Bumble (having good chats with AR still, date in June) and if that doesn't pan out I'll take my chances in real Iife.

Sad state of affairs innit!!

Hi all, have found things have become a bit quiet on GSM and not having any luck on Bumble so am trying my luck on POF. Finding it a bit difficult to stop the search filters defaulting to a radius of 200 miles of London which narrows it down to about 100,000 men but have managed to chat to 3 guys.

My question is: is there any reason why someone would request to chat on email apart from sending explicit pictures? Is there some other reason not to chat via POF messaging?

I admit I don't much like the functionality (lack of) of the POF system. It's not too bad on the app but on the PC it is dire. You get kicked out of the message thread when you reply, gave to click back in, then the messages are out of synch, and if you refresh it sends you back to the log in screen half the time, plus the box is stupidly small so you can only see two lines of what you've written at any time and no preview - it makes things really stilted.

But email wouldn't solve that, email encourages huge long missives, which ain't no-one got time for (she says, having written a great long missive...)

So you think it's legit? It's just that I asked him where in London he lived and he said: I live in X now can we talk on email luv? Seems in a bit of a hurry.

No, that's not legit. And anyone that calls me "luv" gets to call me nowt.

It's a change from the rarified atmosphere of GSM anyhow. I was quite tempted to see what he wanted to send me

JustMe I've been keeping an eye on GSM and have liked a few people and viewed more but I haven't had much interest. A few likes (that don't interest me) and no messages. The issue of them all looking for women younger than them is starting to really annoy me! Who the hell do they think they are? How shallow must they be? Why is seeing a woman your own age or even a year or two old so unthinkable? I'm 47 and have my range set to 44-54.

A guy I was talking to on OKC on Thursday/Friday messaged me again just now carrying on the (very limited) conversation. What a waste of time! He has yet to say anything interesting anyway. I shan't be replying.

I have sent a message to Mr Facebook asking when he's free for coffee. Took me a while to send it, I'm now going to sit and wait for a reply . I feel like an excited child ( but nervous).

Lovemusic well done! Whatever happens it was the right thing to do otherwise you would always have wondered "what if". Fingers crossed!

Yes GSM is a bit quiet at the moment. Did you see the 57 year old that education pointed out whose age range is 25-35!

I had a new like from a man who seems OK sounding but is 10 years older than me! It does seem that women are expected to compromise in some way - if you want someone of the same age to be interested they have to have something that makes them less appealing to the majority of women i.e. very overweight or short or ethnic minority. I assumed it is the same on all sites, do you think other sites are better?

Well done lovemusic , fingers crossed for you that he replies!