Help me not want him anymore

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Been seeing a guy for 4 months. Was friend of a friend so actually known him a couple of years. Only actually saw him once every two weeks as we have 6 kids between us,he works shifts and we live 20 miles apart (I don't drive)
At first he was quite full on lots of texting,phoning etc but that gradually tapered off and it became quite obvious to me that I was more into him than he was me. I suggested that if he wasn't prepared to make more effort,try and spend more time with me then perhaps we should end it.
He was gutted said he didnt want to lose me,promised we would spend more time together.
Literally a week later we had huge row as I found our he had two weeks off work but had made no effort to see,spend time with me. He then turned on me and accused me of trying to stop him spending time with his kids!
Sorry for huge essay. In my head I know I am better off with our him but problem is I have never fancied a man as much! We have been in some contact due to mutual friend which just messes me up more. How do you stop liking/wanting someone? Help me not contact him!!!

I've been breezy!

But actually just called him an arse. Because he is.

Wow Anna It's horrible when someone pretends that nothing has happened.

How is everyone today?

Sorry for resurrecting a semi-old thread, but I really need some pep talk tonight.

I went on holiday for 2 weeks and it was great. I thought about him a tiny bit but I really believed I made a huge progress with moving on.

Then today I got back to the office and I saw him and now I feel really low. He came over to my desk to talk to me and told me I looked really beautiful.

I know that he is a dick and that I must stick to my guns (aka NC), but I still feel very emotional at the moment

Can please someone jump in and tell me to put on my big-girl pants?

Hello. Am here. Magda & . It's tough. I disappeared from the thread cos my ex and I were in regular contact and we arranged to meet to talk things through....but he did a 180 on me again and that didn't happen but didn't stop him flirting etc and getting his kicks...thing is that's what they do. They want us to want them. It's good for their ego. But the minute they know they have us metaphorically, they lose interest.

He might very well think you look beautiful but that's not a really emotionally intelligent thing to share with you given your situation. It's ok to feel emotional. Think back to your hol. You were stronger then so you know it can be done! Hugs....for us both!

Sassy thank you so much for replying

It makes me feel loads better knowing that I am not alone struggling with this. Rationally I totally realize how ridiculous the whole situation is and how pathetic I (secretly) am.

My emotions just need to align with my thoughts.

Am just as pathetic (not always so secretly ) and you're def not alone. It's hard! But yes, getting our rational head to align with our irrational heart is easier said than done....it will happen though....eventually

sassy and magda just wanted say I've been following this thread for support as I'm currently NC with ex it was 8 weeks on fri and I thought I was fine but over this weekend and yesterday and today it's been terrible he's all I can think about!! I no longer have his number but if I did I think I would have given into temptation and contacted him by now! Stay strong!!

Hi upto. It does get all consuming at times doesn't it? But fab you've gone NC that long! And the cynic in me (which somehow stays buried when it comes to my own life) says I bet he doesn't lose anywhere near as much sleep! Temptation is a terrible thing...sounds like despite the emotions, you've just about got it beaten

Hey all, so glad you're still on here and sort of okay.
Keep going, I still have ups and downs but the sea is much calmer. I'm beginning to see the light and see him for the idiot he is. Actually, him ghosting me (as I've commented on the ghosting thread) has been utterly horrible but I think he's done me a favour. I don't think he'll dare get back in contact. I've decided I'm taking a well deserved man break and going to properly focus on me now, going to learn to cook and throw myself back into my sideline work in the next few months.

I think every day we get better even if we don't feel it at the time.

Jessica sounds like you're going to be ok which is wonderful to hear. Love the fact you are planning on focusing on you. Do we need to look out for you on Masterchef next year? Seriously though, good to hear you are moving on.

I thought I was and then things started up again and looked like we were meeting (something we both wanted at the time) but as that hasn't happened, I have taken a few steps back....but....I will get there!

I think getting back in contact does set you back a bit if it does progress and go anywhere but you will get there.
I think for the first time in my life I've actually decided that I could be okay, just as me, even on my own.
Cooking is the hardest thing for me so that's my summer challenge, to learn to cook but don't get your hopes up about Masterchef. I think it will distract my brain.

Exciting summer for you! Love cooking, don't profess to be cordon bleu or anything but enjoy it and it can be really therapeutic...mess aside! Hope you have fun!

Yes, def put me back because it seemed like there was a brief window of opportunity but I think that has been shut again so I need to pick up my pieces and fit them back together ..... again.... but hopefully won't take quite as long to do this time