OLD issue - I've been stupid

[ShockingShite]

So I met a bloke through OLD and he seemed A-Mazing! Totally hit it off, details about what he does all checked out totally, had a really brilliant first date which lasted 12 hours. Yes. Really. 12 hours.

Met up with him again. Slept together. A-Mazing. Discussed all sorts of deep and meaningfuls regarding the fact that he never wants kids, but is totally ok with the fact that I have 2 already. We both removed our profiles from the OLD site. All seemed to be going very well...

Then suddenly, a few days ago we were going to Skype and he didn't appear. Then arrived much later than planned, all flustered and finished the convo when his phone rang.

It spooked me enough to go back and check the OLD site and, what would you know, there's another profile which looks like a brand new one. He says it isn't and it's from a while ago, but he was logged in last night at 9 pm. Totally brushed off my concerns and said he'd Skype me tonight to explain. He's no attempt to text or phone me today.

I've been had by a player, haven't I?

Would you Skype or refuse?

Mygas - the park Saturday morning!
If you can get time without children for dates then you can get time to do a hobby instead - much more rewarding and you might meet more genuine people

neon are you related to Joey Essex?

Erm I'm pretty sure you don't grow a new hymen but I honestly cba to argue about it.

Miserable I am Joey Essex. Happy?

That explains a lot....glad to have you here Joey

Very content indeed 😊

Just call me Neon.

I'm no doctor, but I don't think anyone can grow a hymen back. Speaking as someone who has had 2 children, I can't grow my pelvic floor back, let alone a hymen.

Seriously neon thanks for the laughs tonight.

Worzels I have the same problem

Jeez! You guys take everything literally.
(But some of you do wish to grow a new hymen every two years, hehe)

So anyway OP, hope it pans out ok

Well, I think the lie is a big deal because it wasn't just two early dates with no expectations, but a mega date, lots of contact, with him agreeing (suggesting or agreeing, I'm not sure) to come off OLD.

Puts it firmly into the category of "when a person shows you who they are, listen".

I think OP should keep her eyes wide open.

However, at the same time if the sex is good and she's prepared to risk that she can't trust him, she can also keep her legs wide open

Because I'm in the "sex on a first date is fine" camp.

Neon I honestly don't, I've been taking everything you've said with a pinch of salt for some time

Oh it IS good...
He's an exceptionally generous man cough

Not happy about that lie though. It's a niggle though, not a deal breaker.

Go read the "dodged a bullet" thread OP!

In comparison, yours should be meeting your grandmother - definitely a keeper

Just keep your wits about you, don't knee invest, and be honest with yourself if you do catch yourself not calling him on things you don't want to have revealed as lies.

*over invest

Yup! It's bloody early days. I'm taking the love-bomb blinkers off. Next date is daytime. Snog but no shag. See how he fares.

Honestly OP if you're happy to proceed then go ahead and have lots of sex in skips and on tombstones but don't overinvest emotionally too soon. Be aware that it might be a short term fling or it could go the distance, but don't pin all your hopes on the latter.

ponyprincess, I won't be going anywhere but I suggest you teleport back to my comment and try actually reading it this time.

I'd be wary about the second profile still. I discovered something similar with a man I'd been with for about 11 months.

Turned out he had profiles on other dating sites that he'd "forgotten" to tell me about or delete (but hadn't "forgotten" to log into regularly). And, as he wasn't British, I also found a profile for a site in his home country that he visited regularly and was also active on. It seemed that he didn't like being lonely when he went back to visit his mum.

Judge people by their actions, not their words, no matter how much their words say what you want to hear.

I agree with Ellisandra this is a prime example of "when someone shows you who they are, listen".

Whilst there's absolutely no harm in keeping options open after 2 dates, the fact he's lied about it would be enough to have me walking away. Not because I'm high maintenance or expecting too much, but because lying is a deal breaker to me and if he can lie about the small stuff so easily I'd be worried what else he'd lie about too.

Let's face it, he wouldn't be the first or the last person to pop on to their OLD profile to see what messages have come in. I remember doing similar when I first met DP and replying to those I'd been chatting to to let them know I'd be coming off the site as I'd met someone as I didn't want to be one of those here one day gone the next profiles. Difference is I was upfront and told DP about it.

I also kinda don't get his logic over the second profile. If it really was a half arsed profile to check whether someone had really been deleted or whatever I don't see why he'd even think to log in to it unless it was an "oh shit I said I'd delete my profile and this is still live" kinda thing, which we know it wasn't as it took you prompting him for him to delete it. Why were you even checking up on him on OLD and how did you find this second profile?

Wifey - read back - I was checking up because he'd behaved slightly oddly over a Skype. Just felt spooked. I created a new incomplete profile without a proper photo just to see. Knew what filters to use to find his if it was there.

Sorry Shocking I must have missed that bit. Generally speaking when someone has made me feel spooked there's a good reason for it, whether it's apparent immediately or not. In this case it's because he lied to you. I think the fact he didn't come clean about being online recently and you haven't mentioned you know speaks volumes.

Yup Wifey I've clocked it. Next date will be daytime and I'm not in a rush to arrange it.