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Original poster

OLD issue - I've been stupid

248 replies

ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 19:09

So I met a bloke through OLD and he seemed A-Mazing! Totally hit it off, details about what he does all checked out totally, had a really brilliant first date which lasted 12 hours. Yes. Really. 12 hours.

Met up with him again. Slept together. A-Mazing. Discussed all sorts of deep and meaningfuls regarding the fact that he never wants kids, but is totally ok with the fact that I have 2 already. We both removed our profiles from the OLD site. All seemed to be going very well...

Then suddenly, a few days ago we were going to Skype and he didn't appear. Then arrived much later than planned, all flustered and finished the convo when his phone rang.

It spooked me enough to go back and check the OLD site and, what would you know, there's another profile which looks like a brand new one. He says it isn't and it's from a while ago, but he was logged in last night at 9 pm. Totally brushed off my concerns and said he'd Skype me tonight to explain. He's no attempt to text or phone me today.

I've been had by a player, haven't I?

Would you Skype or refuse?

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 21/04/2017 22:42

Just because you have a daytime meet and don't have sex won't mean that you can weed out his intentions.

He'll correctly summise that he'll get sex next time (or in the not too distant future). It's not always about sex anyway. It can be ego stroking attention, it can be because he enjoys your company anyway - just doesn't want to get into a committed exclusive relationship.

Stick to facts. Not words but actions. You know that he said he would take down his profile - but was online with one last night. He lied.

I went back on after agreeing to come off... I messed something up with the way I hid it, had to wait 48 hours to try again. Received messages in that time. Was curious (despite really liking my now fiancé) - curious in a nosy way, rather than thinking there might be a better option. Also if they were proper messages (not "hi sexy" crap Hmm) I wanted to politely thank and explain I was deleting. All of this my new potential boyfriend was well aware of.

Go on what you know - that he lies.

ImaLannister · 21/04/2017 22:43

Can I share my OLD true style story? Was speaking to a guy on OLD for a few days, he wanted to Skype so I thought why the hell not. I answered and he was there with his cock out wanking saying all sorts of rude stuff. I hung up! 😮 True story! At least your Skype wasn't like the one I had OP!

Original poster
ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 22:43

Yes Les - the Skype thing is good and to be fair he's done exactly what he said he'd do last night. I could have done with an explanation sooner mind you...

OP posts:
ImaLannister · 21/04/2017 22:44

OLD True Skype story ** that was meant to say, sorry

NeonGod73 · 21/04/2017 22:45

I know this tomb stone thing is funny but it's getting a bit tired. You can also shag in a skip? Just a suggestion. I know you want it! Grin

MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/04/2017 22:45

Ima I can well believe it. I've lost count of how many unsolicited cock shots I've been sent in the past.

Original poster
ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 22:47

Ha! Lannister!
This is an interesting thing to throw in... He will NOT do or say anything rude on Skype. If I have ever even got mildly suggestive he tells me off!

OP posts:
ImaLannister · 21/04/2017 22:47

Then I had a copper in Scotland sending me dick shots! The cheek 😳

user1487175389 · 21/04/2017 22:48

You need to analyse what it was about your 12 hour date that made you think he as a mazing. Did he flatter you? Did he tell you exactly what you'd been longing to hear? Did he dazzle you with hints of promise of a more exciting/better life? And then you need to work out how you're going to wise up and protect yourself from these charlatans in future.

Original poster
ShockingShite · 21/04/2017 22:48

Yes... I've clocked the lie and I've set it on the naughty shelf to be dealt with later. He's not off the hook. I'm mulling it all over still.

OP posts:
WorzelsCornyBrows · 21/04/2017 22:52

I can shag in a skip? Man I'm missing out.

Do all casual sexual encounters have to take place outdoors? Only I'm not really an outdoorsy type (or a goth)

LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 22:52

Neon can you not start a thread "most interesting places I've not had sex but you lot probably would" Grin

For the record I'm tragically vanilla with regards to location, wanton though I may have been Grin

ImaLannister · 21/04/2017 22:53

My bad experiences were all on POF. So it serves me right for using it I guess. I hope your on something more upper class like match.com or something at least.
I like the idea of the naughty shelf. Just see how it goes but try not to fall head over heels. You have to be wary and have your head screwed on. I know it's hard tho.

ponyprincess · 21/04/2017 22:53

pooryorrick and neon please teleport back to 1950's!!!

pictish · 21/04/2017 22:54

I'm a dreadful cynic btw and I suspect he's lying about the profile. He's allowed to keep his options open at this early stage but I don't know what all the noise about taking your profiles down was for. Who suggested it?

Ellisandra · 21/04/2017 22:56

Why have you put his lie on the naughty shelf though?

It's pretty fundamental.

I would really think about why you're choosing to let that lie slide. (because you are, right now)
Why are you prepared to choose a man who lies?

Sunshineandlaughter · 21/04/2017 22:58

Personally I can't stand old - had so many experiences like this. My best advice would be to leave this guy well alone, come off old and start hanging out where guys do - cycling clubs, rock climbing clubs, wind surfing clubs, the gym!

MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/04/2017 22:59

Sunshine yes OLD sucks but 'hanging out where men hang out' isn't so easy when you have 2 small children.

LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 23:01

OLD is great, even my rubbish experiences of it were still lessons learned. You just have to seriously stay relaxed and calm, its supposed to be fun, not angsty.

NeonGod73 · 21/04/2017 23:02

Ellisandra why do you think she is prepared to choose a man who lies? Because she didn't have sex for two years and he broke the spell.

MyGastIsFlabbered · 21/04/2017 23:04

Give up on the sex Neon honestly you're obsessed. She's considering it possibly because he lovebombed her and it's hard to shut off those feelings straight away.

LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 23:06

Or maybe, just maybe in the big scheme of things two dates and a handful of texts and call in , in retrospect its REALLY NOT A BIG FUCKING DEAL AT THIS POINT.

So, there's that.

LesisMiserable · 21/04/2017 23:08

Ignore, OP. I think this might go well for you both Smile

NeonGod73 · 21/04/2017 23:08

Two years is a long time. You grow a new hymen in two years!
And he didn't exactly lovebomb her. In fact, after the sex thing he disappeared and didn't show up on Skype. Read the OP again. Now she is chasing after him and he lets her do it.

owenjonesismyhero · 21/04/2017 23:11

I would say he is keeping his options open and so should you. Nothing wrong with that.

Date like a New Yorker, and go exclusive when you both agree. Don't put all your eggs in one basket.