Anyone's DH given up porn?

[FritzDonovan]

Not interested in the morality argument, or being told it's his right, etc - been there, done that.
However, I am interested to know if anyone's DH has said they will be giving up porn after the inevitable discussion that follows them being found watching it.

Mine knew from way back that I didn't like it, I've followed the suggestions of watching together etc, but he doesn't appear interested in that. Just in searching, collecting and watching while working away (and possibly on the sly at home), then clearing off the computer. As far as I'm aware, for at least a decade, even after saying he wasn't going to watch after I noticed the first time.
This time he's said all the things about how he now knows it impacts my self esteem, the relationship etc, doesn't need it and won't do it. My view is it would be nice to think this, but I don't see how he will be any different when away with work again, just hide it better.
Has anyone had their OH give up for similar reasons and stick to it?

Ethical porn, heard it all now PMSL.

How thick are you phoney, you keep comparing the porn industry to watching eastenders or whatever; pathetic analogy.

If you type 'ethical porn sites' into google there are loads that are supported by feminists and described as "fair-trade". The women consent and are well paid, the films directed by women. Just throwing that in so that people know it's not all rape and exploitation.

Thanks for your input muffins, I'm genuinely glad it works for you. The big difference I can see is that you appear to be honest about it with your wife though.
Do you know what phoney, if we had discussed it and decided early on that even though I enjoyed getting my rocks off while watching snakes mating, but he had a hatred of snakes, I doubt I would bother watching those snakes. Because I wouldn't really need it to have a fulfilling sexual relationship with the real life person I shared my life (and bed) with.

God this is ridiculous.

You porn lovers have completely missed the point in between trying to get us to start wanting over porn too.

What do you want, us to say 'oh my god what was I thinking?, I'm now a convert and can't wait to watch porn - also must fully support dh in doing things that make me feel uncomfortable and accept he lied to get me to marry him'

Job done. Move on.

I do wonder how it would go down if a man came on here asking for advice on how to get his dw to do the things he watches on porn websites as she feels upset & uncomfortable with. I'd like to see the responses to that!

I can't stop laughing that porn users are accessing ethical porn oh and with female directors lol, yeah of course you are.

Fritz, thank god for common sense!

Do you know what phoney, if we had discussed it and decided early on that even though I enjoyed getting my rocks off while watching snakes mating, but he had a hatred of snakes, I doubt I would bother watching those snakes. Because I wouldn't really need it to have a fulfilling sexual relationship with the real life person I shared my life (and bed) with.|

Fritz, honesty if that doesn't get through to the porn advocates, I'd just give up on this thread.

Adora I was just showing that ethical porn does exist because you denied it's existence and you were incorrect

Millie why are you calling people "porn lovers"? I don't love porn. I like it. Not everyone that watches porn is an addict, that's a really stupid way of thinking.

"I can't stop laughing that porn users are accessing ethical porn oh and with female directors lol, yeah of course you are."

Me neither, Adora! I'd bet money most of their porn is off free sites.
(Besides, one feminist porn site I saw was entirely about women giving men blowjobs and "worshipping cock" or some such, so I sincerely doubt the "feminist" aspect anyway.)

Lovers / likers. Who cares.

"Adora I was just showing that ethical porn does exist because you denied it's existence and you were incorrect"

You haven't actually showed anything, Nancy. You've stated something, that's all.

Love the snake analogy, Fritz!

I don't think pp is being unreasonable to compare choosing to watch porn to watching normal television programs. It is an individuals choice what media they chose to consume, whatever form that is in. What if your DP said he didn't want you using mumsnet because it encourages misandry because generally on anonymous online forums people are posting problems, the opposite to social media where we see the glossy edited positives in someone's life, and on here men do seem to come off quite badly. This colours your view and he could argue affects how you view him as a person, similar to the objectification in porn. And think how you'd feel if you tried to log in and he had put a block on your phone and computer. It wouldn't feel nice, you would feel like a naughty child and that your privacy had been invaded, and it wouldn't even be over something as private and personal as masturbation.

Some TV is pretty close to pornography nowadays with a lot of gratuitous sex, if they were getting their kicks watching the sex scenes in say that Versailles program, still plenty of tits and ass, just no graphic shots of PIV, would it be a problem?

Was thinking that adora. Knew it wouldn't be long before the thread devolved into the usual 'you don't like porn so you're controlling your dh'. Am very disappointed by the lack of ppl whose dp has actually stopped using porn after finding it caused problems though. I had hoped for a few more positive experiences...

Adora I was just showing that ethical porn does exist because you denied its existence and you were incorrect smile

Please show me where I denied it's existence?

You're really scraping the barrel now.

I'm sure it does exist but I'd highly doubt people with a porn habit only access these and there's usually a subscription to pay; most men are accessing free online porn sites with constant escort pop ups trying to lure them to further down the porn route into escorting and web camming, don't kid yourself otherwise.

Fritz; yes, indeed, I'm bowing out now as I can see this is just a waste of my time, good luck, you are a strong woman and don't need anyone telling you otherwise.

My partner and myself both watch porn without checking it's ethical (shock horror, we are going straight to hell, I guess). I was just wondering if there is porn that is specially made to prove that it is ethical, and there is.

silk already addressed the racy TV example. It's not the same as deliberately searching for particular material with the intent of getting sexual gratification from it.
And I'd give up MN if I knew for a fact he would give up lying. Although it's not the same at all

My BF gave up porn before I met him. He'd watched a documentary that showed the other side to it; the coercion and abuse of women and there were candid interviews with women who had contracted HIV and another who was permanently damaged through anal rape in porn performances. I think it was a reality check for him.

We've discussed it a few times and our views on porn match quite closely so it's never been an issue for us.

Nancy do you just copy & paste your quotes from thread to thread?
It's really boring!

Thanks adora. I think I'll do the same and let the porn apologists continue on by themselves. Thanks to anyone who took the effort to genuinely understand my OP and reply on the topic.

Bore off Nancy.

How nasty are you Nancy, now attacking other posters, Jesus, Nasty Nancy indeed.

I know I said I was done but please stop it.

My partner and myself both watch porn without checking it's ethical (shock horror, we are going straight to hell, I guess

Nobody cares!

Now, I really am done.

If you're resorting to content locks etc then why are you still with your partners? As that insinuates that you believe they are still watching it. If it's such a problem for you then why not just finish things? A relationship without trust is completely pointless!
There are plenty of men who don't have any interest in porn, just like there are plenty of men who are curious about or absolutely love it. Your partners are clearly in the 'curious about it' camp or they'd have never watched it in the first place