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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please, I am being stalked

205 replies

user1491774393 · 09/04/2017 22:56

Hello everyone. I dont really know where to begin and this is complicated. I am being stalked online and offline, I have also been disgustingly slandered and harassed. Stopping short of deleting all of my social network accounts I dont know what to do. I was hacked a few years ago, and things that I had written went on to be plagiarised, then I was subjected to a smear campaign. This was really bad, It ended up in me having a mental breakdown and attempting suicide. The online harassment is still happening. I already had post traumatic stress disorder before this. I have told the police, I have screenshots of the weird cryptic harassment I am on the receiving end of almost daily. Removing my social network accounts would render me pretty much isolated due to disability. This has made me beyond depressed, It also made me relapse back into having an eating disorder and I am now awaiting assistance from mental health services because of this unrelenting and cruel harassment. Any advice would be appreciated, I just dont know what to do. My children and I had to leave our home because of this, which was a massive upheaval for all of us. This is actually making me ill. Sorry for moaning but you ladies give the best advice.

OP posts:
GardenGeek · 11/04/2017 02:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

user1491774393 · 11/04/2017 03:13

I was told I had been framed, something called sgo was mentioned, which prompted me to ask a bright and clued up friend, he said it was to do with guardianship but it's also an editing software. You nailed it Gardengeek, and the stupidest thing is whilst they where saying that about me they where also calling me a slut. Me and Dp have been together since I was 17, actually a long time as far as modern relationships seem to be and he was/ is my first love. Those slurs prompted me to call the police because that is the vilest harassment one could face. That is why I attempted suicide because it's not true and to have strangers think that is just horrible. I went to stay with family just so I could be around someone because I was scared to be alone.

My brother gave me the sage advice of if it's not true it wouldn't bother you, but he is a strapping 6ft odd fella and he didn't see the pushing, the online bullying, the invasion of my privacy and the rest, so whilst It's not true it all took it's toll and caused a humungous flare up of my illnesses, I got so Ill I couldn't pee for 8 days and I lost the sight in one eye. I tried to ignore it (bullies) for months and months but they just didn't stop. SS didn't stop me from hugging my sons at all. I was very frank with them. I stayed off the internet for a long time because of this too because that is what the police advised me to do, they also said that they knew I wasn't and knew about my Grandad and other stuff, they where lovely when they came out but I was a mess.. I am a sensitive soul and it deterred me from hugging anyone, I froze. It hurt my soul to be bullied like that. They really got into my head and it fucked up my perception completely, hence the mental breakdown.

OP posts:
user1491774393 · 11/04/2017 03:28

Whilst this was happening I did visit the GP, I told them what was happening, I have copies of the police report and my medical records. The police thought I was mental, because I had been pushed over the edge, so I see the side of that, because it's a tough judgement to call, but the harassment wan't looked into which caused the mental health problem, which was caused by people with a much more serious mental health problem. I told quite a few people about this and got mixed responses. Relapsing made this much harder because having anorexia is horrible and slipping back into that after being well is not good at all. Crushing actually. I got some good support from my family but was effectively re traumatized by this. Traumatized people are hard work, they are scared and vulnerable and often make no sense to someone that is mentally healthy, which is what the officers saw that attended my former home, and my family too so I partially do understand them and other people not taking me seriously. My sister cried when she saw the clip of me. She gave me a big hug and I cried my eyes out.

OP posts:
GardenGeek · 11/04/2017 03:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icantthinkofafunny · 11/04/2017 03:51

By clip I mean state, by the way, It's slang. Because I was one having lost about 2 stone in a few weeks. I did manage to parent well throughout this for as long as I could, It just went awry once I started getting shoved and I noticed things that I had written where being used by other people, who became successful with things that I wrote.

Rawr · 11/04/2017 04:14

You say this has been going on for 3 years and you've tried to kill yourself over it, surely you would consider this a priority to be sorted in your life..? I'm sure there are many people who would be happy to raise funds seeing as this has such an effect on your life.

Also...8 days without peeing?

tendonhammer · 11/04/2017 06:06

OP, the person who can help you most at this point is your GP. Not a private investigator, not a solicitor, not a computer whizz, not even the police. Certainly not any one of us on here.

Please, please make an appointment to see your GP today. Show them this thread.

Referencing mental health is not a 'slur' or a judgement on your character. You've said yourself that you feel 'down' and 'hopeless'. Talking this through with someone in a position to actually help you would be the first step in gaining control over this situation.

Hellofromme · 11/04/2017 06:29

I hope someone can help you but honestly I don't understand any of it.

Ginger782 · 11/04/2017 06:37

Is Icantfindafunny the same person as the OP? Seriously, this is the hardest thread to follow. Some previous posters have given some great, insightful advice. I hope it helps, whatever the actual problem is here...

Ginger782 · 11/04/2017 06:38

I meant Icantthinkofafunny. Is OP posting with 2 different usernames?

NotNob · 11/04/2017 06:40

OP,
This sounds terrible and utterly traumatic. I second visiting your GP as a matter of urgency. I think you view this suggestion as dismissal of your ordeal and that we don't believe you? Not true. But a GP will know where to start in helping you. This is too big for you to deal with alone.

CFranS · 11/04/2017 06:44

paladinservice.co.uk
This is the website for a national stalking advocacy service called Paladin. They have contact details.

Iris65 · 11/04/2017 06:50

You must go and see your GP and show them the posts that you have made as it gives a clear, structured account of what you are going through.

LookAtTheFlowersKerry · 11/04/2017 06:56

There was a poster a few years ago who was being harassed through scratches on her front door and the song lyrics her ex posted on his blog. Was that you, OP?

ReginaGeorgeinSheepsClothing · 11/04/2017 07:02

It sounds v intense- would someone have to be very computer savvy to Do all that hacking and trojaning into your computer?

GlitteryFluff · 11/04/2017 07:05

Is it possible to sell your computer and buy a new one?

DragonFire99 · 11/04/2017 07:13

OP, I suggest you read RuncibleSp00n's post very carefuly. It makes a lot of sense.

I'm afraid some of the things you're saying are hard to believe - you didn't pee for 8 days, you're too 'delicate' for analgesics, your electronics were interfered with and you were 'bullied on just about every site that used to be a sanctuary for me' - it all sounds too much. Who would do all that?

Please do seek help. Your GP would be a good start. Could you print this thread out and show him/her?

charlie97 · 11/04/2017 07:17

This is hard to follow...

Do you still live with DH?

Children?

If so, you really don't need social media to have contact.

Honestly delete everything, but maybe show your GP and police this thread so they have an account of events?

Hellofromme · 11/04/2017 07:22

What does your partner think and do they support you?

NotNob · 11/04/2017 07:47

Please keep posting when you can, OP.

frumpet · 11/04/2017 08:19

I really do think seeing your GP is essential , do it today if you can . You cannot live a life happily with the sort of high level anxiety and stress you are currently experiencing , regardless of what the cause is Flowers

WelshMoth · 11/04/2017 08:51

I hope you're ok OP. It sounds exhausting for you.

Have you any suspicions who could be doing this? Did you buy your PC from new? Second-hand? Was it inherited? Who has had access to it?

Sorry to bombard you but I'm trying to ask practical questions. I don't want to focus on your fragility because I suspect that will chase you away. Let us think about how they are getting this info.

NotCarylChurchill · 11/04/2017 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Icantthinkofafunny · 11/04/2017 13:21

LookattheflowersKerry No, that wasn't me, but that just goes to show that I am not the only twat magnet unfortunately. I hope whomever that poster was managed to get that stopped. It is really horrible and people can try to say ignore or rise above it and it just isn't that easy, even for the most resilient of people.

Regina (Great name by the way) Someone would have to be a little tech savvy to do all of that, I'm not. at all. I have up to date antivirus and net security but thats about it.

Charlie Yes I still live with my Dp and Children. They are my life. I only had social media to stay in contact with extended family and friends from other parts of the country and world, also support groups which I really found useful.

Hellofromme, My partner is really supportive, but he doesn't like how much this changed me. It's safe to say I am not the confident and happy woman that he first fell in love with, which is something I feel very insecure and guilty about. I am still happy and grateful, I still have joy and adore my little family but this did change me quite dramatically. He thinks that action should have been taken by authorities to trace and deal with these people, because they have obviously been doing similar to others and by getting away with it they will have the gall to do this to others. It's frustrating for him but I'm still me, albeit an anxious and very easily startled version.

Frumpet, I will see my GP. I am awaiting an appointment to have emdr again, which is something I had years ago to overcome the trauma of being sexually assaulted.

Welshmoth I do have my suspicions yes, But I need solid proof before go in accusing anyone. I know who started it, I dont know who all of the winged monkeys are. One of the people that is doing this admins a fb page that doesn't actually know me personally, one of them is a woman I went to school briefly with. I have no idea of the others. My circle has always been small because I'm shy and I have been with my dp for a long time, so he has been my friend / confidant and everything since we met. I was told by a friends sister ages ago that someone was asking personal questions about me, I did query her after this, as it stood out in my mind as strange, and became significant following this experience, she told me she no longer remembered. Most of the stuff they said about me was bollocks, but they named my sons paediatrician at the time too and that isn't something my partner or I had ever discussed on the internet. My PC was bought new. The only time someone else could have accessed it was when I moved. I keep doors locked and windows are only open if I am in. I did have a few incidents (things tampered with and moved around) which made me think someone had entered my property but I have no proof of this. A suspicion isn't proof. My partner said my sons could have moved the items and damaged other property so I have to accept that because it is a possibility.

NotCarylChurchill I could post a link to my dropbox but my name is visible on th escreen because I recorded that from my fb, I only videoed the trolling after my personal info was released, I didn't know how to screenshot things on my pc until last year (I'm a thicko) I know who some of the posters where from what they said but I need to prove it and I cant do that due to my own stupidity, just going off my gut instinct isn't evidence in the eyes of the law. I'll have to figure out how to post screenshots onto here,. One of the fb groups this happened on got took down because the other posters could tell someone was being bullied (that was me) so they reported the group and fb took it down. I did contact some of the other members of the group and they could actually remember this, I was just wondering if there was a chance that any of them screenshotted the things I didn't, I should have got more, but I was in a state of shock and disbelief seeing things from my medical records, things about my late nan, my brothers and others being obnoxiously posted. It was all disgusting, really scraping the bottom of the barrel and until recently I was getting horrible weird messages from fake accounts of which I always report. One of the people doing this actually said in a conversation with me that no one would believe me, I realised this afterwards, when i re read old messages. I actually thought that person was my friend (a fellow aspie). Obviously not.

RestlessTraveller · 11/04/2017 13:25

op Do you realise you are posting under two user names on this thread?