Advice please, I am being stalked

[user1491774393]

Hello everyone. I dont really know where to begin and this is complicated. I am being stalked online and offline, I have also been disgustingly slandered and harassed. Stopping short of deleting all of my social network accounts I dont know what to do. I was hacked a few years ago, and things that I had written went on to be plagiarised, then I was subjected to a smear campaign. This was really bad, It ended up in me having a mental breakdown and attempting suicide. The online harassment is still happening. I already had post traumatic stress disorder before this. I have told the police, I have screenshots of the weird cryptic harassment I am on the receiving end of almost daily. Removing my social network accounts would render me pretty much isolated due to disability. This has made me beyond depressed, It also made me relapse back into having an eating disorder and I am now awaiting assistance from mental health services because of this unrelenting and cruel harassment. Any advice would be appreciated, I just dont know what to do. My children and I had to leave our home because of this, which was a massive upheaval for all of us. This is actually making me ill. Sorry for moaning but you ladies give the best advice.

OP I mean this in the kindest possible way. At least for a few months maybe have a break from all social media and in that time try to identify some other hobbies which you may enjoy? If the bullies cannot find you online maybe they will skulk off somewhere else? I hope this improves for you as it sounds horrible.

Definitely someone who knows you. Can u recall falling out with anyone near the time when it first started happening?

I'd keep on at the police - stalking and harassment is a crime and they need to take action!

In the meantime, I'd come off social media for at least a few weeks, just give yourself a break if nothing else.

Keep a diary of everything! Screen shots, dates, times, photos. Phone police every time something happens.

Set up CCTV. It can be quite inexpensive to do and will definitely get to the bottom of it.

Good luck. Hope it all stops soon.

Im sorry you are going through this and I'm going to speak to you from experience, police experience. If you present your case to the police in the same way you have wrote your opening post then they are going to presume in the first instance it's a mental health problem. I'm sorry if this is upsetting but I want to be open and honest with you so you get the best out of your post. You sound jumbled up and to be honest quite rambled, which in turn could point to mental health and possible delusions - I do say this in the kindest way possible, I am trying to help.

You speak of things that happened in the past and things that happen now and it's very confusing. You need to focus on NOW!!

The police will want to know exactly what is happening now (the past will come later in evidence gathering, if the case gets that far).

What is happening now, when you say you're being harassed and threatened; are people sending you private messages, threatening you directly with harm and have these people indicated they know your address.

Which social media sites are they using?

Is it name calling or are you receiving genuine threats to your life or property?

How long did you last move and when did they social media posts start again

At the moment are you just receiving messages online or have you had any offline incidents

I'm not expecting you to answer all those questions on here, I'm just saying they are the types of questions that the police should be asking and you should be able to answer. Try and write down everything you want to say before you ring the police.

Online harassment and stalking is very difficult to prove for a number of reasons, especially when you don't know who it is that's contacting you.

IP addresses cannot always be traced as people from all over the world have access to social media and IP addresses can be hacked from all over the world.

I'm not saying you don't have a case btw, I'm just trying to give you a few pointers in the right direction to make the police take your incident(s) more seriously if it does become evident it's a police matter

Good Luck. Feel free to ask me any questions if you wish

With the greatest respect Poopythetroll, Police have no actual mental health training, so they base their judgement on ignorance. This is why my ordeal has been going on for such a long time, and my life has been ruined as a result. It's just showing that it is fine to anonymously abuse, target, slander and bully another person to the point that they attempt suicide, and when they contact the police about this they are dismissed. It all goes in the favour of the perpetrator does it not? So much for justice hey?

Nobody can go through all of this and not be affected both mentally and physically, at the very least they will be depressed. I am aware of ip tracing, I pay taxes for them to protect us from these types of criminals and investigate harassment and malicious communications but they would rather go after children picking daffodils on mothers day.

Someone experiences something heinous and awful, typical response = victim is mental, no investigation, ordeal continues = victim is crazy. Yes, that's fair isn't it? Judgement decided by untrained public officials without any form of fact checking or investigation. No wonder people dislike reporting serious crimes to the police

Please contact Paladin if you are in the uk they will know what you need to do for the best.

I have been stalked and I understand how your life is decimated by it. When I tell people what happened to me (I rarely do) I see the familiar disbelief cross their face followed by concern that I'm paranoid and delusional. This is what stalkers want. They want you to sound unhinged when you try to stand up for yourself. The irony is, that of course your mental health is effected by their actions.

Can I ask - setting aside that you are extremely stressed about the things that are written,
has any physical harm actually been done to you or your children?

Have these bullies actually followed through?

If not, then they are empty threats & you could try to think about taking power and ignoring them. Take power! Even if you don't feel powerful inside. Pretend that you are.

Try this visualisation (drawn from story telling as therapy): what life pattern would you like to lead that would make you feel calm? What differences are there between that imagined life and where you are now? If you had a magic wand, what would you change? Now add in a bit of real life - you can't change other people, so what would you change that is in your power to change?

I hope you come to see that you do have the power to change your life - and that these bullies do not have power over your life.

And as others have said, maybe give yourself a social media holiday - we all need to.

Well you are focussing on one element of my post, I was trying to help you and not once did I say that justice is in favour of the perpetrator.

Also your information although the police are not mental health professionals, they are given training on a very regular basis. If you do not wish to take my advice then I will not take offence and I will not post again. Good luck.

They want you to sound unhinged when you try to stand up for yourself. The irony is, that of course your mental health is effected by their actions

Yes, that's generally the awful double-bind of being bullied. But the "victim" (I hate using that word) needs to find ways for themselves to take control, and resist being controlled by the bullies.

It's really hard to do, but it can be done, together with getting other people to help: police, mental health support etc.

Thank you Rosetta, I have made several calls to Paladin, they are well aware of my ordeal and gave me good advice when this first became problematic.

FlyawayPeter, They have followed through, to the point that I have been heckled in public, pushed over by a binman infront of my son which made him cry and other not so nice things. You nailed it when you mentioned them wanting me to sound unhinged, and my health being affected. I was initially made aware of this by a friends sister telling me that someone was asking others personal questions about me, I asked her who but she no longer remembers.

Poppythetroll, I am sorry for my bluntness, I just write my experiences, apologies if they come across as raw or rude, that is not my intention at all.. if the police would have taken my complaint seriously when I first called them we wouldn't have had to leave the home we adored. Rather than take me seriously they referred me to mental health services and social services. I passed a mental health assessment. I no longer have ss involvement because I am a good parent, I adore my children and they are doted on from the moment they wake to the time they fall asleep. I said that they side with the perpetrator, I didn't say you did at all. They do by default. By refusing to take this seriously and dismissing it as a mental health issue and not looking into what is causing all of this upset, which of course they have the power and means to do, but they didn't. An experience like this actually does take it's toll on someones mental health and wellbeing and for someone to focus solely on that and not the cause of it is a disservice and an injustice.

Who was it that heckled you in public? did you see them? there must be cctv cameras and the police should take action based on the evidence and for yours and your children safety. It sounds complicated and really scary.

You were pushed over by a bin man as part of the stalking? Doesn't that make it fairly obvious that he is responsible? Did you report this to his employers? If not, it isn't too late as they will still have records of who was on that route.

What were the incidents that made you move house?

Can you talk to your friend and explain what's happening and that she needs to ask her sister about the person asking questions.

Would creating a new email address and using it to change your identity online help?

I did ask this friend recently to query this, She asked her sister, I thought she would find out for me but she just said she couldn''t remember who it was, I didn't want to make a fuss because my friends have their own lives so I left it at at that. The binman wasn't my stalker, just someone that decided to involve themselves in harassing me, so where the hecklers. This has happened on public transport and in town too, So I no longer go anywhere alone. It's ridiculous and scary and it does make me depressed. A case of damned if I do and damned if I dont (regarding attempting to get help with this and facing ridicule and slurs of ill mental health). The reason I initially make complaints to the police was the theft of my intellectual property, also data protection breaches. I was advised to contact the information commissioner, which I am in the process of doing. I have removed all of my social network accounts. I will ask friend again to query her sister, because
this is serious and if she asks around someone may know something. Thank you all for taking time to respond.

are you saying that someone is stalking you but you don't know who it is but that person is using the general public to harrass you?

No, I said that I was subjected to a vile smear campaign, This is when people tell vile lies about you in an attempt to ostracise you, much asking to schoolyard bullying. I am as clear as I can be without the comments continuously seeking to undermime my mental health. I was treated with rudeness and hostility by someone in a shop, I complained to the manager, he sacked the person in question (gross misconduct) and I was informed that they had seen something about me on the internet. People have free will, so tgp cannot be used. Sigh. Lookattheflowerskerry What kind of response is that? Are you some sort of stalker sympathiser that doesnt have a problem with women being harassed and terrorised?

Why didn't you speak to the police about the Bin man pushing you over? That's assault. Are you sure this is all connected? Sorry this is happening, sounds frightening.

It might not be, I live in a state of almost constant hypervilligence due to trauma, hard for others to relate to that don't know what it's like. I don't know why a man would randomly just push someone over. It's not something that I would do personally, but if it was unrelated it was timely due to what else was going on at that time. I contacted the council about this, seeing as they employ him. I left that home shortly after.

It's awful how I share my experience to get advice and some posters feel the need to question my mental health. Thanks a lot to those of you that haven't, this is difficult enough as it is. I regret even starting this thread. I guess I am just supposed to allow them to win, say I'm mentally ill, pretend that nothing has actually happened and just accept the brandishing of mentally ill even though I already passed a mental health assessment and was discharged because I am not mentally ill. Thanks for making me feel bad. Thanks a lot.

If you're referring to me, I'm just trying to unpick what you're saying. If you don't have a record of the bin man assault logged with the police, they're likely to ask the same question.

OP, it sounds like all of this is taking a toll on your sense of self and well-being and nobody could blame you for feeling the way you do. You sound very alone, stressed and unhappy. Do you think that you could arrange to see your GP, as you were considering earlier? Might be an idea to show them this thread, if you can. They should be able to suggest how you can access support in order to move forward.

I'm not a stalker sympathiser.

But you're not being very clear. What did the bin man read about you online that would compel him to assault you in the street?

Random thoughts.
Stop all social media
Close all of your accounts and tell your friends and family why and ask them to be vigilant if anyone try's to use your accounts.
Cover the camera on all your devices as these can be hacked
Consider paying a computer whizz to try and track down where the messages originate from.
CCTV is good idea
Also in stall bright lights at all enters vex to your property. Can't no k what they are called, the ones that come on when someone passes by.
Make sure the path/ entrance to your foot is clear and you can clearly see if anyone approaches.
If you do set up anymore social media accounts In the future dont use your full name. Then you can control who you accept as a friend.
If someone hassles you, calmly say excuse me but why are you doing. Saying that?
They might give you some invite as to who has said something to them.
If you could manage to engage with one of these people you could learn something as to what has been said about you. You could them ask who the details of who said bad things about you.
Chip any future pets.
Good advice too about leaving random things in with trackers which the stalkers might steal.