Dating Thread 116 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

Good golly Miss Molly, sounds like a good result there.

For the previous discussion yes, absolutely need to adopt a thick skin and just remember that everybody isn't for everybody.

Thanks all I will get some decent photos. To me, the physical aspect is not that important (i.e. I don't like conventional beauty) but I like intelligence, culture, interesting conversation. I would consider a wide range of physical aspects as long as he is on my same wavelength (as he seems to be). But it doesn't matter I guess. I will need to think whether to continue since it makes me so anxious

We all have it, in one way or another. I'm sure we've all read a profile and thought that person is almost perfect for me on paper. You send them a message, they view you and no reply. You pretty much know it's been about looks because your profiles match so well.

Waiting for second date with Mr Scientist. He's been whatsapping me every day, sending me photos of his new sofa and food he's cooking - really nice and chatty. He's already said he would like to take me out to dinner but will I look too eager chasing him up?! Argh!

Couple more dates with other irons lined up.

Polarbear why not suggest a couple of dates to mr Scientist that suit you, I would. If he genuinely likes you it shouldn't be a problem.

I've just had a really interesting guy message me on OKC after we mutually "liked". Fingers crossed!

Heartbroken don't be too upset, I know OLD can be brutal, there does need to be physical attraction and everyone has different tastes, just because one person doesn't find you atractive it doesn't mean other men won't. I'm not too fussy with looks but I have to feel some physical attraction, also a person can be too good looking. Just put it behind you and wait for the next message.

Lovemusic I agree 100%, it is very personal. Having spent so much time looking at profiles and exchanging messages I have reached the conclusion that the physical attraction side of things is really important to me. I actually found that a bit difficult to admit to myself. That is what makes the difference between a great friend and a great partner/boyfriend/husband/whatever.

Isn't it weird how we are all attracted to different things. I am fairly good-looking (hope that doesn't sound really vain) but I have had only one "conventionally" v handsome partner in my life. I didn't enjoy the women's heads turning every time we walked into a place after a while. And he turned out to be a right dickhead I can tell you.
I always go for the clever odd ones. I'm a sucker for high IQ's but later in life, I now look for Emotional Intelligence too. Living. Learning.....!

Current bf wouldn't particularly attract anyone's attention in a bar, (unless they noticed his sea-green eyes perhaps and his butt) but he's toe-curlingly deliciously smart, very highly educated but interested in zillions of things outside his discipline, and he is endlessly interesting to me. It's all going rather well, and I'm tbh kinda relieved he's not drop dead gorgeous, apart from to me.

Hey guys. Rejoining the thread under a new name. Had 4 dates in one week with a view v intense man who wanted to take me to new York??! He told his parents about me. I freaked out and also didn't like the way he said the word pastries. Had a lunch date today which was lovely with a different guy. So we'll see.

info first VW for me... Prior to that I was a Type R through and through. They put me off with the high price of the new one... And at my age the new Type R was like strapping a racing car on. The Golf is like being in a lazy boy arm chair with a turbo nutter button ! . You should go for the 380Z... I love those Z cars...

Heartbroken It's hard not to take it personally... You have my sympathy, but the one encouragement I can offer is that you will come across men who like your photo's, think you're attractive and want to meet you. There truly is someone for everyone. I never knew what my ex saw in me. I know I'm charming, give good banter etc... but I know I look a bit like Shrek's uglier, pinker brother. Didn't stop me . Love the person you are and let others see that. It's very attractive...

Note to myself: if you look up someone on fb who you getting on really well with DO NOT tell them as you might get dumped by them for invading privacy

Gutted as things had looked really good n was getting on so well....ah well back to drawing board ...

fortune, also if you look up someone on Fb you will appear on their 'people you may know' list. I have looked up Mr Breard on Fb but he told me I could. I think he has looked at me too.

Rock I'm a VW girl, also like the R type too.

It's not always clear though. If you have someone's number stored in your phone then they pop up sometimes. Facebook can be odd.
My date from today would like to see me again. He was good fun.

RLD, I'm a Subaru guy. Always liked the Type R but not one I'd personally go for. The Civic guys have a bad rep for always turning up to national meets and just sat revving the nuts off the cars for ages.

No movement on the OLD front for me. As per the usual!!

Lovemusic just think it's rather harsh that he doesn't want to know me cos I had a sneaky look ?

Did not know that about Facebook! Can't see anyone on my suggested add friends thing. Looked up Mr Xbox on Facebook as his mobile number is linked, as is mine bcs I have a very common name.

fortunacookie It wouldn't bother me but who knows about other ppl? I'm nosey so would expect that!

Yeah I am too allthembuckets but surely if u that private you wouldn't have your mobile phone linked to it 🙄

He was really lovely sounding too, we'd chatted, arranged a date been messaging all day I'm a bit gutted to be honest as not liked anyone so much in awhile straightaway like him..we'd just clicked..,obviously not

Sorry to hear that about the FB guy, maybe he felt a bit silly that he was found on there so easily and kinda went off on one a bit. He either wasn't expecting to be found so easily or he's getting genuinely surprised that someone would look him up.

If people are free enough to have anything showing fully publically on FB that's their look out.

Wondering if he had something to hide to have such a reaction, I'll learn from mistakes anyway

Well it's probably a lucky escape fortuna - anyone who would overreact that much for something like being looked up on a social media platform, designed to be looked up on - well they're probably going to overreact to other stuff too.

That's exactly my thoughts bant n he questioned me on what I'd seen so maybe it was a huge red flag of like you say his overreaction to things later on...he had waffled on a lot about how loyalty was very important to him...n quizzed me on how many dates I had? How long I been on pof etc n then apologised for doing so...

Sounds odd.

It's a weird world out there

If someone's given you their full [real] name they should expect you to check fb, and if they are cross that you did maybe they have something to hide....?

I have a red Honda Civic. And am too tired for dating!

OutTo no didnt give me his full name, I found him through his phone number but he said was upset I'd found out his full name, seen his kids without him showing me himself