dudette - I think it's only ghosting once you've got to the point of believing you're in an actual relationship. Four dates in? That's just dating someone, not even 'seeing' them, yet. Had you talked about exclusivity? Had you met any of his friends or family?
Online dating is tough, people do just vanish. People on here do it, too. Let conversations fade out because they're focusing on another iron in the fire..
I disagree with the others, in that I think it's not all a man's responsibility to keep the conversation going.
Generally - we're expected to message first. We're expected to ask someone on a date. We're often expected to choose the place, and either offer to or actually to pay for the whole thing. And to ask for a second date.
How does this constitute an equal partnership?
I think a woman has to put some of the work in too. I find that often women go a bit dull after a couple of dates. They're no longer funny and interesting to chat to. I want someone to keep my interest, in order for me to keep trying to keep theirs. Someone who will message me and say something funny or relevant. Otherwise, I'll go off them.
And that's increased if I've been busy at work, and realise I have nothing to say to them, because I've met them, and they're interesting enough but.. not enough to keep trying to impress.
And if they don't message me, and the silence stretches on, I'll think 'oh, maybe she wasn't interested in me after all, she just wanted me to pay for a few dinners'
So I think if you've had four dates, you must have enough to say to each other to send a casual friendly or funny note.
Women who expect to be constantly chased, will always be seen as prey. Men who just love the thrill of the hunt will go off someone once they've caught them. If you want to be equal, then show you're equal.
That's my take on it, anyway.