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Original poster

Dating Thread 116 - come join us!

999 replies

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 19:52

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
LanaDReye · 30/04/2017 19:42

Out yes you're better off out of that.

Touting himself on sex sites 😂

DoIDontIhavethetalk · 30/04/2017 20:20

Dear goodness, Out - he sounds positively smarmy.

OP who posted the 'fridge rules' - they are excellent. I'll be putting a set up on mine.

Things are still going extremely well with 2 month Guy (aka The Nurse) I have jumped in the sack with him (trying to ignore my emotional involvement right now) and Christ-on-a-bike this is the most fun I've had in 15 years

OutToGetYou · 30/04/2017 20:50

Oh, I should have said, he snuck out yesterday with that bag, was out about 6 hours, came back about 9pm, cooked some sausages and pot noodle and took them to his room.

I like this as my fridge reminder:

www.ram.org/contrib/autobiography_in_five_chapters.html

Allthembuckets · 30/04/2017 22:10

It sounds like it's going well for many of you; I'm fed up of games etc.

How long would you usually wait before having MB with someone?

Plentyoffishnets · 30/04/2017 22:10

Love that out, reckon I'm on stage 3 of that!!!
I ended things with Mr pizza this morning. Did it by text which I know is shitty but had not heard from him in a couple of days and would not have been able to call until this evening when I was due to see him. He lives an hour away so didn't want to make him come all this way for that. He has not responded to my text. Feel shit, but did not want to ghost him either.
Not sure if feel up for another round of dating as that was my second short term thing since December. But you've got to be in it to win it!! So not sure.

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 30/04/2017 22:20

Just saying hi from the sidelines, still reading :)

Nothing new on OLD from me, no irons.

OP posts:
Bant · 30/04/2017 22:41

Evening.

Things still going okay with MissCivil. The early all-evening messaging has slowed down, and our kid-free weekends don't match up so we'll only get to see each other once every couple of weeks or so.

I can feel the call of the sweet shop though. I'm resisting it, as I want to see if things can work with her, but there's something missing, I think. We dtd, we talk a lot, she's funny, but the emotional walls go up from my side. And she's not a good kisser. It's.. a little awkward. For me, anyway. I'll keep on with it and see if things resolve themselves.

I've never seen the attraction of sending someone a wank video. Or a dick pic, come to that (no pun intended)

Nice resolutions, faronto - I'd add 'cut down on wine on chocolate', and 'no ex-texting' to mine.

Almost the end of yet another thread.

Oh and at that exact moment when I'm typing this, I get a match alert on tinder. I haven't swiped anyone in a month. Hmm.

LanaDReye · 30/04/2017 22:45

Buckets I waited until around 4 hours into my first date with Mr Bike (not counting 30min coffee previously). It's not what I've done before or planned but felt right at the time and now (would usually be date 5ish). I knew it could be a ONS, but decided to go ahead wanted MB and snogging wasn't enough . You could wait 3, 4, 5 dates/weeks and it can still end up a one-off as it may not work out. Probably less chance of ONS if you wait longer. It's how you feel and what you want that is important.

POF I've stuck to the 'in it to win it'. Dating since Aug, short and several month dating. I'm still convinced it's a numbers game to get to something that can be longer term.

NurseButtercup · 30/04/2017 22:59

@allthembuckets and pringlecat thankyou for gently telling me to wind my neck in. Of course his DC is more important than me, I let my vanity and looking for a bit of flirting and male attention overtake me.

Sadly I can't invest anytime in dating for the next month. I've got exams and assignment's to do so I'm on a studying lockdown from tomorrow Smile

OutToGetYou · 30/04/2017 23:00

I fear I may have forgotten how to kiss - ex never kissed. Not even from the start really. It was odd. I missed the whole build up to sex thing with him (he thought getting an erection was foreplay). When I mentioned the no kissing he would violently snog me and say 'see, we do kiss' but it was unpleasant and didn't mean anything as we didn't do it generally. (he also used to send me dick pics to my email and text me to 'come upstairs' - more erotic foreplay!)

I used to be a good kisser. I hope I haven't lost it totally.

Anyway, sorry it's not a complete jigsaw Bant, sometimes you just don't know why it's not!

Bant · 30/04/2017 23:10

That's a bit shit, outto - how long were you together?

pringlecat · 30/04/2017 23:15

NurseButtercup It's easily done. I would have been irrationally annoyed after having made an effort too - we spend so long preening to make a first impression, it really is a big time investment! Best of luck with your studying. Definitely smart to cut out the dating for a bit - it can take over and you don't need the distraction. Smile

OutToGetYou From experience, when the chemistry is there, you both just know what to do so. I love a good kiss, me. You feel all special without all of the awkwardness and mess of MB. Wink Don't get me wrong, MBs with the right guy would be lovely, but I feel a lot of people undervalue the appeal of a really good kissing session.

LanaDReye I think that's good advice. As long as you're comfortable it might just be a ONS, go for it. If the thought of it just being a ONS doesn't sit right with you, hold back. What's really important is how you would feel in the morning whatever happened.

Bant How are the MBs? Is all physical interaction a bit awkward or just the kissing? I've always found that you can tell a lot about someone likes their MBs from their kissing, so it would surprise me if she was just lacklustre at one thing. Maybe she's had a bad experience previously.

Hello to the lurkers. Goodness, there seem to be a lot of us just taking a break...

LanaDReye · 30/04/2017 23:16

Out once a good kisser always a good kisser I'm sure Wink. My exH and I only had MB about once a month and no kissing, so I did worry initially, but then when you're in the moment it just happens -or not and you're not in a committed relationship so can walk away .

Bant could one of you alter DC weekends or could this be a bit of an excuse for one or both of you to get more space? It is hard having DCs and dating, but it doesn't sound as though dating feels special.

Allthembuckets · 30/04/2017 23:20

Plentyoffishnets at least it's done now and I'm not sure you should feel bad about doing it via text as his response RE the messages you didn't like was bad, IMO.

Bant bad kisser was a deal breaker for me but that was when I was 20, so not at all inclined to focus on other things!

LanaDReye next weekend is childfree for me, but think it's too soon for me so was just wondering.

NurseButtercup in which case he shouldn't mind waiting! Although, it's driving me mad waiting until Wednesday! If it happens... being paranoid

OutToGetYou I think that should be one of the red flags, if it's not already. My ex stopped kissing me except just before/during sex and I asked what was wrong to be told nothing, he had a lot on at work etc... admitted when we split that he had started having feelings for someone at work at that time.
Your ex sounds a treasure Hmm I think kissing is like riding a bike so you never lose the technique as it were Grin.
Just realised that I have no idea how I am now at kissing as my health issue affected how my tongue and mouth work - I still can't whistle, for example.

Bant · 30/04/2017 23:38

Someone needs to start a new thread and post a link here.

pringle - Mb is quite good although she's quite small and I'm a little worried about hurting her. And she has a broken wrist which complicates things :)

The kissing is just different. Very self conscious, perfunctory even. Rather than a thing which is worth lots of time to itself. It's difficult to explain, it's just not feeling quite right. Not a showstopper but a niggle.

lana - yes a weekend swap is possible, maybe, at some point. But not for a couple of months. My ex plans things out six months in advance, generally, hers is at the whim of the former OW.

OutToGetYou · 01/05/2017 00:13

We were together seven years. He did kiss hello/goodbye, just not proper sexy snogging kissing.
I do hope none of you meet him, though it seems he's with someone now so possibly off the dating sites.

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 01/05/2017 00:18

Best type of kissing is with them sitting up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

OP posts:
Plentyoffishnets · 01/05/2017 00:21

God yes outto ! Along with the poss of us dating each other, it had not crossed my mind we could end up dating each other's exes!!!

Plentyoffishnets · 01/05/2017 00:22

(us all on the thread I mean!!! Sounded like I meant just me and outto there!)

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 01/05/2017 00:27

I'm sure everyone would like a new thread for the morning so here we go:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2917184-Dating-Thread-117-summer-loving?watched=1

OP posts:
Original poster
InfoSec21 · 01/05/2017 00:27

Let's

OP posts:
Original poster
InfoSec21 · 01/05/2017 00:28

Shut

OP posts:
Original poster
InfoSec21 · 01/05/2017 00:28

This

OP posts:
Original poster
InfoSec21 · 01/05/2017 00:28

Down

Go here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2917184-Dating-Thread-117-summer-loving?watched=1

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