Dh has died - the MN Aunties are helping me keep on

[JuanPotatoTwo]

New thread, not very imaginative title sorry! I can't remember how to link - having a blank moment.

Evening, hope everyone is doing OK.

Hope the allergy test goes well Juan. Have you decided where your tattoo is going to go yet?

book have you tried prescription swimming goggles? They are very good. Enjoy your new drive, glad it's done now.

Our new broadband is being installed tomorrow. We are hoping for an improvement on our ridiculously slow internet, but I'll believe it when I see it.

All the best for your DH's appointment tomorrow Selena.

Ah Juan hope you got some sleep. That sounds very painful. Hope all goes well.

Selena thinking of you both today

Quieter day here today in terms of stress but full of stuff to do including buying paint, swimming lessons and a info session at school...so backwards and forwards all bleeding day!

Have also promised to bake banana muffins and now DD's on traintracks we have to be very careful with her snacks so I guess I will be doing a lot more home baking and cutting up fruit in the foreseeable...

Morning
Drama - I didn't know about prescription swimming googles, but I think I have got beyond wanting to swim with any regularity really .....( getting old and stuck in my ways!)
Have to dash shortly, so just a quick post - hope everyone has as good a day as possible.
Thoughts , Prayers and Strength xx

Morning all - thought I'd put up this pic of Bertie to send us on our way with a smile.

I didn't know you could get prescription goggles either (also short sighted) but since I've no plans to go swimming I'll not worry about it!

Tattoo - well on the morning of the funeral, when lots of people were already here, I suddenly thought of the poem by Dylan Thomas, Do Not go Gentle. Why I didn't think of it before I'll never know because some of the lyrics were so apt for Mark. Also, I did my dissertation on Dylan, both of us hailing from Swansea, so it seemed like a particularly fitting poem and I asked ds1 to read it. So I'm going to have the words "do not go gentle" with either a red cardigan or a yellow rose. I'd prefer a red cardi because that's undoubtedly Mark but there aren't many (ok, there aren't any tattoos of cardis that I can find to look at. However, the man doing it is very talented and is going to draw up some ideas for me. I want it where it can be seen because I want people to ask me about it so will prob have it on the lower half of my left forearm.

Fingers crossed for a positive appointment Selena. Wishing everyone a good day.

Cute pup

Oh book is called "Are we nearly there yet?" about a family who go round the UK in their car (DS hates driving so DH thought I'd find it funny - so far so good!

Bertie is just lovely Juan.

My sleeping isn't a problem (although I struggled to get back to sleep this morning after dropping ds1 at school at silly o'clock).
I'm also more tired than normal so going to bed a bit earlier than I used to, but not outside the realms of normality.

Ds2 wants to cook tonight - I said on Tuesday they can take it in turns to make tea on a Wednesday (no clubs) but we went to my parents last night, so he wants to do it tonight instead. Lemon chicken apparently. There is also a heath-run organised by the jogging club they both attend that he wants to go to, so not sure how that's going to fit with cooking.

Selena fingers crossed x

I love the 'do not go gentle' idea, how appropriate and symbolic. And the yellow rose, just lovely. All I really know about tattoos is from my shameful addiction to Tattoo Fixers on telly but I'm sure you could get a gorgeous one incorporating a rose and a red cardi too. Have you looked at watercolour tattoos? Tattoos aren't really my thing I'm more of a piercings girl but I do love the watercolour style, especially for flowers.

The pic of Bertie has cheered me up, thank you. I'm having a stressful morning. Nothing major in the scheme of things, just niggles I could do without.

Wishing you well today Selena.

That early alarm call sounded brutal, Squirrels. Glad you got him there on time.

My fingers are also crossed, Selena.

Juan quite a few people in my WAY group have tattoos or jewellery of that kind - such immense meaning and so special.

I've got rather momentous lunch plans this weekend, that I'm feeling nervous about. Various in-laws coming here all at the same time. We're hoping that hearing that Dh1's family are totally nonplussed by, and supportive of, this baby getting both our surnames will help her get her head round it and stop giving us a hard time. They've all met before, but with other people around too.

Morning all.

Ooh he is such a cutie Juan .
We would love a dog, wish I had got another one about 3 years ago as new landlords wont have one but they wouldnt have told us to get rid of it. They are brill in every other way so I cant complain but admit to wondering if we should move while I am still up for the challenge of a dog! DS2 would love one.

Been blitzing the kitchen, started with the dishes and kind of just took over! Funny how you notice things, start off washing the top of the grill on the cooker, then the units surrounding it seemed a bit grubby, then the shleves at the ends of the units and all the stuff on them....someone stop me.

Cloudy and cold wind here today, wondering if its worth putting washing out in the cold.

Ooh thats an early start Squirrels have an easy day! Wish my teen had the faintest interest in cooking. My 12yr old does and can whip up things himself/with help and loves baking, makes pancakes for us if there is no 'pudding' etc. Think I might have to threaten persuade my teen to start learning!

Drama I love tattoo fixers too, dont have any tatoos but its on my bucket list Keep missing the Tattooist of the Year programme, only seen 2 so far!

Oh well the housework is calling.... can I ignore it ?

Day has been more stressful than planned for, but just sitting down for a bit. Got everything on this morning's to do list ticked off (well the muffins are still baking, but that's done right???)

Now just school run/swimming lessons/tea out with over tired children an school info session and then getting them off to bed and making lunch boxes lol

Thank you so much for the support.

We saw the registrar again (I'm presuming he gets the total no-hopers) and he is lovely. He said no more chemo or radiotherapy for now, but door still open for the RT. Getting MacMillan nurse on board and district nurses to manage pain, breathlessness etc.

Said quality of life is paramount (refreshing comment from a doctor), to get out and about as much as possible and yes to going to Suffolk a week on Monday for a week! We have friends there, stay in a self-catering cottage where we've stayed for years and good places to visit.

Oh juan he is gorgeous. We have 2 Siberian cats who are quite dog-like.

Drama - I have 2 tattoos - my eyebrows!! Made a huge difference to my under-active thyroid pathetic efforts!!

Selena
The Dr sounds pretty good. Refreshing as you said. Hope dh is feeling just a bit more positive. Managing the pain and breathlessness will be a huge help for him to feel a bit more in control and able to do things. It's good that they haven't ruled out further treatment either.

Sounds like a lovelyi holiday you have planned.

I have toyed with the idea of having my eyebrows done they are shocking now! But would be scared that they would look 'coloured in' not like hairs. Now if Jay were to do it they would be fab 😀😀

Selena having a focus on quality of life is so positive.

I'm going to spend the evening sewing with Dsis - she has a new sewing machine, and I have a pile of XL summer clothes from the anthropologie sale that I need help taking in over the shoulders so I can wear them as maternity clothes.
And I might start some cooking ready for the lunch this weekend after that. (In my earlier post, the she alluded to is my MiL 😂😂)

Thank you everyone.

I think I have taken the positive from the negative and so DH goes along with that too.

I was thinking of boosting him in a morning with oxygen from a can, but the reviews of various makes on Amazon are fairly unanimous: useless!!

Now to the chocolate.

Evening!
I have had a busy-ish day, and just had a sit down and knit to relax.
Lovely pic Juan - (btw - how is the malteser diet going? )
Selena - glad to hear you and DH have a good Dr there -sorting these things out will make life just a little less stressful for you both
Chasing - its so good to hear that your DS can cook - teaching them life skills seems to pass some mothers by... ( Mind you, when my DD went to uni, she was the only one out of the 6 in her little section who could cook at all!)
Somer - please don't tell me you have one of 'those' MIL's ( the new one ....) !

Hey all, I've survived the day and celebrating with a glass of something

Selena I hope that you and DH can have a lovely time together and make the most of it.

Hope you're OK Juan and Squirrel

New PIL's have been mostly very decent to me and my DC, book - certainly not the AIBU-worthy type. But MIL can't understand why I kept DH1's surname and didn't take hers DH2's, or why we're giving new baby both. DH is getting fed up of her questions about it and falling out with her, which is upsetting all round.
So this weekend I'm tackling it head on, and going to try to get her to understand our reasoning. It seemed a good idea a few weeks back, in post-honeymoon glow of optimism. But now I'm nervous...

Long day here. I'm taking to my bed now to finish the crap book I'm reading (end of the world running club... a dozen people recommended it to me and I have no idea why).

Well, time for me to turn in.
Cake - enjoy your tipple!
Somer - that is slightly stressful by sounds . Are you also someone who has to finish a book regardless? I am trying very hard to break that habit. ( Advice is that if it hasn't gripped you by Chapter Three, its not worth it)
Juan I hope you manage to get a good nights sleep (hugs)
Night everyone x

Morning all
Juan - hope you had a good night
Gorgeous sunshine, with a stiff breeze here.
A nice day planned with a trip to my favourite nursery to pick up some plants, a look around and lunch out .
I wish you all a stress free day .

I no longer feel obliged to finish a book - too many books to read, too little time to waste on rubbish!

I am going off to Brighton for a fitting @ Bravissimo & a look for a couple of bits to take on hols. I hate shopping - so not a treat for me. Wish I was going out to a nursery with book

Much love, Pesky - how's sleeping & eating going? (((xxx)))

definitely thread twins magi - I am a bravissimo user too , .and I hate shopping for clothes . I am so out of step with what the high street thinks is suitable for the more mature lady. I am not 80 (yet!) neither am I 20, wanting to flash everyone with my supposed assets .....

Somer MIL issue sounds a toughie, although hopefully through honestly not understanding rather than any spite.
I kept my surname (which was exH's) when I married John & MIL didn't understand that at all, never mind a baby!
I have no idea what John actually felt, he certainly said he didn't care one way or the other and he never expected me to change it. He never expected me to marry him either though as I'd always said "been there done that, failed, not doing it again". I'm very glad I changed my mind and asked him if he still wanted to before his cancer was diagnosed.

Ds1 back at 10pm last night and we were both straight to bed, he said it had been a good day.

John's car is being collected today. It's on a lease, the initial 3 years was up at the end of December and he renewed it for a further 2 years. I though at the time it was a mad thing to do, but didn't want to make him face that so didn't say anything. I had to get the brakes fixed last week as the warning light came on towards the end of January and although he arranged for it to go into the garage a couple of times they both had to be cancelled. Hopefully there won't be any problems with the collection.

Then my friend is coming over this afternoon for a while.

I'm in a mess, much more so than when he died.

Ds2 said today I shouldn't be so sad because it's been quite a while since John died.
I wish I had his 11yo take on things.
He seems to be doing okay, although yesterday was asking me what I'd prefer to happen to him of he was orphaned - to be fostered or in a care home. I said I'd prefer him not to be in that position and he said well yes, but which would I prefer.

I'm not really sure how Ds1 is doing, and how much of when he is sad is because I am IYSWIM.

The sun is shinning and life goes on.

I read all of a book if someone's lent it to me, as in this case. I like to be able to have a robust discussion about it, and I can't do that without having all the facts. Plus, I read fast and have a perennial problem of running out of books.

Anyway, finished that pants one thank God and started rereading GH's Venetia

Hope everyone has this glorious sun Home and manages to soak up some vitamin D. I feel a bit less sad and grumpy already.

X post with you squirrels

Sorry you're feeling worse rather than better. And bless him - your DS2 with those questions. Mine got very worried about my health and what would happen to them - and their #1 reason for wanting Dh2 to have PR was so that they could stay with him if anything happens to me. (prior to this, I always assured mine that my sister and parents would share custody of them between them, and that it's all agreed and that there is good life insurance on me so that there would be no money worries - the family therapist we saw for a while helped me recognise that I needed to take their concerns seriously.)

I agree on taking their concerns seriously. We talked about it a bit - and the fact that they have me, their dad, his partner and both sets of grandparents. And he said well it's not very likely then, but still - which would you prefer? He said he'd prefer a foster home as in a care home there wouldn't be anyone to love him. Sigh .

I have to finish the book - it's stupid, but there you go.