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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

999 replies

InfoSec21 · 22/03/2017 17:44

Dating thread rules:

The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
Develop a thick skin.
Do not invest emotionally too soon.
It's all BS until it actually happens.
Trust your gut instinct.
People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
If it's not fun, stop.
Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

OP posts:

Report

MrsRolandRat · 09/04/2017 17:54

Hello All, lurker here. Although I did post a few times about 12 months ago.

Been at the OLD malarkey for about 2.5 years now. I've met a few nice guys, some not so nice ones, which is usually the types I fall for.

I met my last boyfriend from tinder, we dated for 5 months but there was just something missing on my part.

Then recently dated someone for a month, lots of chemistry and I thought we were well matched, only to sleep with him and he messaged me two days later saying he thought we didn't match well enough for a relationship!

Anyway I look forward to hearing all of your dating experiences.

I've had about 50 (rough guess)dates over 2.5 years and yet I'm still on the shelf!

Bant · 09/04/2017 17:54

w1968 - no offence taken :)

It's also difficult for us to find women who are vaguely okay..

Although things are going well with misscivil. Second date on Friday..

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 18:32

I sent a couple of messages recently where they deleted them straight away. I know that's no different to just sending one with no reply, it's just a bit of housekeeping on their side but it just feels that touch more brutal when they delete quickly ha ha.

OP posts:

donerwillbehere · 09/04/2017 18:33

Hello ladies ....... I have recently joined POF (this morning) I am completely terrified . I know this is the right time for me. I am out of touch on how to start conversation and generally have a flirt ! Any advice I would greatly receive . Thanks

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 18:42

Welcome, gents in here too brah ;)

I've noticed that everyone on POF is a care worker and everyone on Bumble is in HR. Yeah, everyone.

OP posts:

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 18:43

I've just realised that you're probably a lady too.

OP posts:

Lovemusic33 · 09/04/2017 18:57

info what's wrong with being a care worker? , I think the job title care worker can cover many things, I am down as a care worker but I work in mental health (more of a support worker).

I deleted bumble, got fed up with getting a match, messaging and then hearing nothing back.

donerwillbehere · 09/04/2017 18:58

Info sport didn't realise you are a gent ! Yes I am a lady .... info any advice ? I am in education .... give me a class of children any day then OLD .... seems an emotional mine field

OutToGetYou · 09/04/2017 19:03

I am actually in HR. Is there something wrong with it? All the men on POF are in IT or finance, but I guess a lot of men just are!

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 19:05

I didn't mean that to come across the way it might have done. Absolutely nothing wrong with their of those, just observing that stacks of profiles on POF are down as care worker and stacks on Bumble as HR. Just an observation :)

OP posts:

w1968 · 09/04/2017 19:26

I think some people are deliberately vague about their careers - and put something generic so as to not be pigeonholed.

I'm afraid I'm guilty of deleting without a response - but that's been when one word messages, or general hi how are you messageshave been sent. I don't consider those worthy of a response!

It seems to me that there were very few people who actually put some thought into their messages - pure laziness! How is that supposed to be attractive?!

donerwillbehere · 09/04/2017 19:28

W198 ..... what are conversation starters ??? Just out of interest ?

donerwillbehere · 09/04/2017 19:28

W1968 sorry

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 19:34

w1968 remember that some people have been on online dating a while and they've tried all the detailed messages and friendly personal approaches and had little success. Once you get beat down over a while it's easier for some to just try quick messages and hope something lands.

OP posts:

MrsRolandRat · 09/04/2017 19:39

I do respond to a "hi how are you?" Message if their profile reads well, their looks appeal to me and they come across as a little educated.

It's hard writing that first message.

If after a few exchanges they ask no questions and seem like they have no personality or banter then I move on.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 09/04/2017 19:39

Welcome MrsRoland,** that's brutal re ditching you after dtd! Clearly he's an arse.

I'm having a crisis of confidence about Mr Web. I'm wondering if he's a bit out of my league. But he seems to really like me, so fingers crossed he doesn't mind me being a bit of a ditz with a messy house.

Does anyone remember that episode of friends where Ross was dating that amazing girl, only to go back to her place and it was an absolute tip, with a rat under the piles of washing? Ok my house is nowhere near that bad, but in my mind, that's how this is going to go down when he finally comes here.

Which might be this week, as we are both child-free

MrsRolandRat · 09/04/2017 19:44

Thanks once.

I don't remember that episode, the one I always laugh at is when Ross is wearing those skin tight leather trousers on a date, goes to her house to watch a movie and can't get them back on when he goes to the toilet totally something that would happen to me this!

Don't worry about your house. I do believe when you're into someone you overlook things because, well you like that person.
We always notice our own imperfections (whether that be looks, house, car) that others probably wouldn't bat an eyelid at!

Bant · 09/04/2017 19:48

Who's going to start the next thread? Quick now.. and post the link in here

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 19:53

Here we go:

[URL]www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2899418-Dating-Thread-116-come-join-us?watched=1[/url]

OP posts:

InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 19:53

Maybe that didn't need the tags:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2899418-Dating-Thread-116-come-join-us?watched=1

OP posts:

Bant · 09/04/2017 20:21

Ok this thread is

Bant · 09/04/2017 20:21

Now

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Bant · 09/04/2017 20:22

Completely

Bant · 09/04/2017 20:22

Full

(Aaahhhh. I feel better now)

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