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Original poster

Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

999 replies

InfoSec21 · 22/03/2017 17:44

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.
OP posts:
Polarbearflavour · 09/04/2017 13:09

It would be a third date with the doctor who is very keen to see me again.

Mr Scientist has been Whatsapping me and would like a second date.

RunnnyMummy · 09/04/2017 14:04

polarbear in that case I think date 2 with Mr scientist sounds better. See how you feel after that then make your decision.
Nice to have a choice Smile

Polarbearflavour · 09/04/2017 14:10

Thanks RunnyMummy Smile

Dating is so hard!

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 14:50

No irons at the moment. Finding it all a little uninspiring. Lots of blank profiles. If I can find anyone I want to message it's a success let alone them replying!!

Hey ho. Managed to get back into OKCupid, shouldn't have bothered, still just as naff in this area!!

Little early heads up that we are not mega far away from filling this thread.

OP posts:
OutToGetYou · 09/04/2017 15:10

I like first dates - I never expect anything to come of them but it's better than sitting at home on my own. I tend to be quite chatty and then men feel we have 'clicked' whereas I feel I was just being 'not so rude as to climb out the bathroom window even if I felt like it' because I am a polite person and very used to meeting new people all the time through work.

Second dates would probably make me nervous. But obviously I have no experience of that! :)

pringlecat · 09/04/2017 15:21

Mr Slow Burn cancelled our first date because he met someone he really liked in the meantime. Power to him for doing the decent thing.

Original poster
InfoSec21 · 09/04/2017 15:32

OutToGetYou, I hate first dates!! Super stressful! I'd love to be able to just chill and breathe easy on that.

OP posts:
ThisIsTheRightTime · 09/04/2017 15:34

Date 2 went so well last night. We were together between 7.30pm until 2.30am. We had a few drinks, dinner and another drink until bars closed at 2am. Everything was easy and the conversation flowed.

He's very different to previous men; a gentleman. At the end of the night he admitted to me that he was very rarely surprised by anyone but I had completely destabilised him, in a good way. Wink He said he was nervous before our date (had done a lot of cleaning in his flat as a result) but for him it was a very good sign.

He walked me to my car and, in jest, made it clear that he'd really like me to spend the night with him. I mumbled about being really tired, gave him a long, lingering hug and we kissed briefly.

I really like him but in a slow-burning kind of way. Most of the time I fall for men where there's strong chemistry. I certainly didn't feel up to spending the night with him but am deeply convinced he's a good guy.

I sent him a message this afternoon thanking him for a lovely evening but feel confused by what should happen now. Is it good to feel this low-key attraction? Should I feel bad that I turned him down about going back to his place? (I know I shouldn't but ....)

Mumfun · 09/04/2017 15:36

Polar would definitely see Scientist first before decide
pringle yes power to him

have second date next weekend with mr giant. not absolutely sure but think he was too nervous last time so worth trying again

another new iron appeared who I quite like and would like to meet

quiet overall though. enjoying life outside old!

info shame nothing on OKC.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 09/04/2017 15:37

OutToGetYou, I'm the same as you. My job makes it easy for me to adapt to others and talk freely so even if I get nervous prior to Date 1 I usually manage to survive the thing with relative ease.

pringlecat · 09/04/2017 15:38

ThisIsTheRightTime A gentleman doesnt spend ages cleaning his flat so he can take you home on a second date. Suggest you have a third date. Given most men see the third date as the sex date, if you say no again and he's still interested in a fourth date, maybe he is a good guy. Otherwise...

pringlecat · 09/04/2017 15:42

I am a little sad. I didn't even particularly like Mr Slow Burn and I am pleased for him that he's met someone special, but I've just realised that the London dating market is just like the London housing market. It moves too fast, there aren't enough houses, people are always outbidding you at the last moment and you end up having to compromise on the features you want for the right location.

I might set up POF again later with a different pic. Sod Bumble. I get a better hit rate from POF usually. Took my profile down post Beardy but it's time to go fishing.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 09/04/2017 15:49

OMG, pringlecat! I didn't even but 2 and 2 together. I didn't realise he was cleaning his flat because he was hoping I'd come back to his place. I just thought he was taking out his nerves on cleaning. Bloody Hell, I'm thick. It didn't add up at the time as he walked me back to my car the long way and completely in the wrong direction for going back to his place. Gaggghhh! Confused

This OLD really, really teaches us to be so cynical.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 09/04/2017 15:55

I meant to write that it certainly didn't seem like he was trying to lure me back to his place as we were walking in completely the wrong direction for that.

pringlecat · 09/04/2017 16:03

ThisIsTheRightTime If I was being really cynical, I'd say he told you that so you would feel bad about his efforts being wasted if you didn't go back. But of course I'm not cynical and jaded at all. Oh, wait.

ThisIsTheRightTime · 09/04/2017 16:14

Really pringlecat? Because he didn't say a word to me all evening about it. It's just at the end of the night that I commented on how he seemed less nervous than our last meeting and he brought it up. He mentioned how he'd spent a few hours going through paperwork for his job and cleaning to get over his nerves prior to his date. He could so easily have walked us past his flat on the way from the bar to my car but he took me on a detour. And only when I said I hoped I was way under the limit drink-wise by then to drive home did he joke about staying at his place but he quickly ended his sentence by saying 'but I don't think that's going to happen'. He hadn't come onto me in the slightest way physically during the whole evening. I was the one who initiated the hug at the end.

pringlecat · 09/04/2017 16:20

ThisIsTheRightTime I've had a few experiences with OLD where nice guys have turned into sleazes biding their time. Not trying to put you off seeing him again, just don't over invest at this stage. You haven't spent enough time together yet to know if he's really nice or fronting. Too many of us let ourselves get carried away on date two, when it's still not real!

ThisIsTheRightTime · 09/04/2017 16:26

I completely agree with that pringlecat. I do. I've had my fair share of nice men turning into sleazes too. I'm not over investing with him (I need way more chemistry to do that Smile ) but I just like the idea of believing in a decent guy. Do you see what I mean? I dislike the thought of having to become even more cynical.

There's a part of me (I won't do it, of course) which wants to send him a message saying forget it.

I hate being taken for a ride. Pun intended Smile

Allthembuckets · 09/04/2017 16:31

ThisIsTheRightTime I would have said the same as pringlecat but it doesn't sound the case from your description of the night.

OKC keeps timing out and I can't view any profiles Confused but can reply to messages, which is annoying!

Had messages on POF but getting quite annoyed when I reply with a sorry you're too far away (as an eg) then they argue!
Sent a few messages but no reply. So, anyone I'm interested in, isn't interested in me and vice versa!

ThisIsTheRightTime · 09/04/2017 16:33

Thank you Allthembuckets Smile

Lovemusic33 · 09/04/2017 17:04

I think things are quite due to the weather being nice, people are out enjoying the weather rather than trawling through profiles. I have hardly had any messages for a week now, had one on POF this morning from someone with no profile picture, telling me I look sexy Hmm, read his profile and he sounds a sandwich short of a picnic, says he's looking for someone to have a baby with.

I get really nervous when meeting someone for the first time, I have probably been on about 12 first dates and it hasn't got any easier, if anything I have got more nervous because I know the chances of them being normal and genuine are quite slim. I'm really nervous about meeting Mr Beard, worried we have already talked too much and won't have anything to talk about.

Allthembuckets · 09/04/2017 17:17

I've just finished watching the F1 so been sat on the sofa Lovemusic33

That sounds insane!

When are you seeing Mr Beard? I don't think that'll be the case but would it help you to think of a few topics to discuss? I haven't had a date yet from OLD, the only one I've been on in the last 10 years we were both nervous but found things to talk about.

Allthembuckets · 09/04/2017 17:21

There's just been an advert, something like "My Online Nightmare" just what I need Grin

w1968 · 09/04/2017 17:24

I've just come off all OLD - completely fed up with people sending messages that show no effort, or that they've even read my profile. There seem to be very few in my area, and even less that I think look interesting.
I can easily chat via txt or in person, and never get nervous meeting people - it's just so frustrating getting to find someone who is even vaguely ok! ( no disrespect to the men on here)
Think I'm going to focus on just living - and have London marathon in 2 weeks to distract me (am very scared & injured!)
Will stay on here if that's ok as I'm sure I'll. e back on OLD again

Dieu · 09/04/2017 17:43

Hi everyone.
Back after a few days away.
Info I wish LL had just told you that in the first place, to save you all the waiting and agonising Hmm
I got an email on Friday night from a guy I used to date, and really liked, but our communication was all over the place (ie not really enough from him). He emailed asking about a trip I recently took. I emailed back on Saturday (yesterday) morning ... and nothing back as yet. Makes me wonder what the point of getting back in touch was!

Looks like I have a couple of POF dates later in the week, but I am finding it really hard to work up any kind of enthusiasm. Don't know what's wrong with me ...

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