Dating Thread 115 - come join us!

[InfoSec21]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize-they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread.

And I'll be off on date number 2 this evening, Polarbearflavour. I'm nervous too. I think, maybe, because he seems like a really nice guy and his nervous might be rubbing off onto me.

Nervousness, not nervous. Gahhh! I must be more anxious than I thought.

Runnny, I hope he contacts soon, I know what it feels like to sit waiting as I'm sure we all do.

I just took myself out for a lovely long walk along the coast. Such a lovely day and nice to get away from any thoughts of dating for a while!!

Mr Gym sent me a text at about 4pm just asking how I was doing. A few messages later I find out his plans for the evening have been cancelled and he wants me to go to his place.
I was very tempted but I've said no. It means rearranging my evening and I don't want him to think that after 2 days of no contact I will just drop everything for him.
I hope I've done the right thing by saying no.

RunnyMummy I think you've done the right thing. Maybe I'm high maintenance but I like a few odd texts a day lol. Everyone has five mins in the day to send a couple of texts x

Agreed, even when I'm really busy I can manage to send a few messages.
I think saying no was the right thing to do RunnnyMummy

Oh dear - I don't think I find The Doctor attractive on second date. He went to hold my hand and I just felt really uncomfortable. His voice was really grating on me and he just seems...a bit camp?! I don't know.

Well done runnymummy I'd have done same, it's just not on if u text regular.

Second date is usually when I get cold feet too

I meant to add polar

bluegirl and allthembuckets thank you.
I'm trying to keep busy to avoid giving in and going round.

Polar bear that's a shame. Time to move on??

Have been messaging Mr Slow Burn on and off. I've been messaging him via Bumble so he can see I really am far away for the weekend. We're going for a drink on Wednesday.

He's growing on me. Seems genuinely nice and also keen. From his photos, he'll either be very attractive or so not my type. It's hard to tell. Fingers crossed he's lovely.

Getting back in the game...

RunnnyMummy - yep, it's a shame as he's a very nice person but not sure I'm attracted to him. But can attraction grow?

The Scientist I do find lovely in looks and personality. He's been whatsapping me and is keen for date number two.

Argh dating.

Polarbearflavour If you think he's outright ugly, then no. If you think he's not unattractive, just not your type, then a physical attraction can grow if you like his personality.

Sorry for being really dense...MB?
[Blush]

He's not ugly but a bit plump and kind of campy?!

Just trying to catch up, haven't been online for a few days due to a relive becoming ill, I have been messaging Mr Beard daily and he has been so sweet, checking up on me several times a day and sending lovely messages. I'm still anxious about meeting him, mainly because I am worried I will be disappointed, I have been here so many times before, when you chat to someone and build up a picture only to find them totally different in person. I was worried about me not being attracted to him after he sent me the photo of him with his top off but tbh his body is not as bad as most men I have dated, maybe I'm being too prude.

Katie0705 MB = mooseburgers = sex.

I think it depends on the individual RE attraction. I usually find someone attractive regardless of if they are thought to be handsome IYSWIM? That's then enhanced by personality. But that's how I am, everyone is different!

I've finally got some r+r time so have been chatting to a few guys but nothing more. Still chatting with Mr Xbox but he hasn't suggested meeting and I'm too much of a chicken! Maybe more wine will give me the courage... I have a childfree weekend so no need to be up in the morning.

Lovemusic33 I find it depends; it's not the same with photos. My FB lost weight rapidly and I wasn't bothered, liked his body before but could see the difference after. He had an Xmas chocolate weight issue too so strange diet to get back to "normal". Our definition of normal are different though!

All I think I am being a bit too fussy, he's not hugely overweight, he's 6ft 6" so very tall and looks slim with clothes on, just doesn't look that great with his top off, he's also 10 years older than me so obviously isn't in as good shape as he used to be , I shouldn't really let it bother me because if we do click then it shouldn't matter what he looks like naked? I find his face atractive, he has a beard which i find sexy and he has a nice smile. I think I will meet up with him and just see how it goes, I'm not really talking to anyone else so I have nothing to loose.

Morning all! I'm child free his weekend and Mr Accent is unavailable so went out last night with a girl friend. Somehow I picked up a guy in a bar who just left I'm a terrible person.

MrsPussinBoots 😂😂😂😂 good on you xx

Have decided to tentatively rejoin OLD and be a little more cautious after last time and remember the rules. Definitely look out for red flags and not over invest. Tinder is turning out to be a lot nicer than I imagined.

I always seem to find a reason not to want to meet up with the guys that want to meet up with me. So I have decided to force myself to go on some dates to try to get over it.

I'm seeing a local guy from Happn for a drink on Monday. He is awful at messaging so I'm hoping that he is a bit of a technophobe who is better in real life.

A small rant:
I really hate men on Bumble who don't reply to messages and just let them time out. I think Bumble should "downgrade" men who regularly do this in some way as it seems to go against what Bumble is about. Instead of empowering women it forces them to put themselves out there and then the men choose whether of not to bother to reply.

I hate first dates but after a few minutes I feel fine - it's the anxiety beforehand!

Don't know whether to see the doctor again or not. Or stick with Mr Scientist and have second date with him and I really like?

mrspussinboots sounds like you had a good night!
Pavonia I gave up on Bumble because of that problem. It felt like men were just swiping everyone and then picking the ones they liked best. Tinder can be the same but at least matches don't time out.
Polarbear sounds like you like Me Scientist better. Has either asked for a second date? You could just have a second date with both

I was very good last night and refused to give in to all requests from Mr Gym to go to his house. He sounded disappointed but I won't be his second choice after his mates let him down. He did also say that we could spend more time together next weekend as we both have four days off work. I'll wait and see what he suggests.